My husband has just started having some problems with erectile dysfunction. I am in t he beginning of this problem I want to know how we can not let this problem form a problem with our marriage. I know it will play a huge part in coping with not being able to have sex, but I just don't want sex to completely destroy us!
2007-04-19 09:32:26 · 12 answers · asked by missgoodgirl 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
My husband has many things going on at this point that could contribute to this problem.
1.) Diabetes
2.) His coroidid nerve was acting up and it put his leg out. Doctor prescribed a muscle relaxer... and it relaxed another muscle.
3.) If there are any emotional things going on also.
2007-04-19 09:48:29 · update #1
Someone brought up one of my prior questions... about not being aroused after having a child. That was 3 years ago and it was due to a hormonal change with in me. that has since gone away!
2007-04-19 09:53:57 · update #2
You need to find out whether it is a physiological or psychological problem.
The penis is enlarged basically by being engorged with blood. A hydraulic action if you like. If blood flow is restricted then erection is difficult. Often that is symptomatic of blood flow problems in the rest of the body and is often a warning that a stroke or a heart attack is probable.
Psychological problems may go deeper. The chances are that if you have had sex successfully until now, then the psychological problems are those associated with the frustration of not being able to perform.
Anyway on both those accounts go to the experts.
For now, however, sex can still be enjoyed. Get pleasure from his company, get him to use his hands and his tongue, and play a little hard to get, encourage him to please you.
The other thing you have to do is learn to be friends. Sex is often easier than friendship because you can get into a routine, a comfortable rut, and often the problems of the day can dissipate with an intimate encounter.
So this intimacy you want to keep, but why not look for more quality time together, more appreciation of the person, rather than the body?
So to sum up, go to experts to find the root cause of the problem. Remain intimate, and appreciate each other more.
2007-04-19 10:33:54 · answer #1 · answered by d00ney 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
We have been hearing the term "erectile dysfunction" alot on TV lately. Particularly from the drug companies who want to convince us that Viagra and Cialis are the answer.
I don't think that term even existed until those freakin' drug companies went into business.
Don't be too hasty to label your husband. Perhaps he is just stressed, or feeling pressure to perform. I'm sure that this is just a temporary mind issue that he is dealing with.
Help him to relax. Reassure him, and let him know that it's okay to stop for a moment and try again later. Do things like that to take the pressure off, and you will find that your husband is back in no time.
Also, make sure that you don't roll your eyes, or sigh if it happens. Watch your body language, and make sure that you are always supportive.
But pleeeeeeze refrain from "diagnosing" your husband LOL
Just be patient with him, and help him get over this. Perhaps see if you can do a little more to arouse him. Don't leave it to him to "get himself hard"
2007-04-19 16:45:56 · answer #2 · answered by michaeljazz 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You didn't mention the age of your husband which would be good to know. Anyways some guys after the age of about 25 start producing less testosterone and their drive starts to diminish. Erectile dysfunction is about 25% physical and about 75% mental. Meaning that once a guy starts to loose his confidence in getting it up things can get worse. I would suggest that you guys should snuggle and do things that are sexual in nature but with no commitment to go all the way. Let him take the lead and let you know when he is ready. I hoped this helped.
2007-04-19 16:41:31 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Go talk to his doctor. Both of you. Get the doctor's perspective on what can be done to help your relationship continue.
If you married him, I hope it was not just for the sex. Your marriage is full of other things besides sex. Don't dweel on it and make it a pressure point.
There are many forms of solutions to the ED problem. Do some research and find one that both of you agree on. Make it a partnership discussion. Don't make it all about him or make it seem like his fault. It is no one's fault.
Be there for him, as i am sure it is more embarrassing to him than he is letting on. What man wants to admit he cannot have sex as much as he used to? It is an ego killer. Help build his ego back up and you will continue to have a god marriage.
Good luck
2007-04-19 16:51:53 · answer #4 · answered by bux_martinfan 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You don't have to not have sex.
Try Viagra, it has saved many marriages.
You are correct that it could put a strain on your marriage. Talk to your doctor and seek counseling if you need additional help.
Main thing is to communicate, let your husband know that you would rather try and it not happen, than for him to push you away and leave you feeling unwanted.
There are many ways to pleasure each other and show love and affection other than penetration. Be creative :)
2007-04-19 16:52:19 · answer #5 · answered by hi_stk_n 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why is he having this situation? Age ? Meds? Disinterest? another woman? Something CAUSES it.
Send him to the doctor. There are meds and such to help.
Go to marriage counselling if all you have is sex to keep you together.
Sex is not going to destroy you, but a crappy attitude about a shared "situation" might.
Investigate other ways of intimacy besides "the beast with 2 backs." Don't lose the romance and closeness you have.
This might be a blessing in disguise.
2007-04-19 16:43:38 · answer #6 · answered by Lottie W 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
In one of your earlier questions you said that you were getting to where you do not want sex after the birth of your daughter. If you have been letting your husband know that you do not like sex then he will start to not get excited by you. I do not know all your circumstances but if you act like you don't like sex it will really turn him off bad. I know from experience. You guys need counseling. Viagra will help him some but if you really aren't getting Hot.wet, and excited it won't be magic.
2007-04-19 16:44:21 · answer #7 · answered by 55 and trying 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have him seek medical attention. The ED could be the result of another disorder but even if it's not there are tons of treatment for ED now so it doesn't have to be the end of your sex life.
2007-04-19 16:37:50 · answer #8 · answered by indydst8 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
FIRST- and foremost..you must find out the CAUSE of this...
is it physical or emotional?
you/he needs to speak to a dr. and fast....there could be a serious problem.
stress is the #1 factor with this type of thing.....lack of sleep......or desire.
just happened to my friend and her man was cheating! when he thought of the "other " woman." he LOST IT.....
2007-04-19 16:40:27 · answer #9 · answered by STARZ 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ED is very treatable. You do not have to lose your love-life. Talk to your doctor. Go together so he feels supported.
Good luck!
2007-04-19 16:44:00 · answer #10 · answered by Starla_C 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋