..and eventualy end up chasing the very person away - the one I feel close to? I crave close companionship, and although, I initally have a wall around me, but once I start feeling close and start getting emotionally drawn, I kinda become emotionally dependent on the person. Is this emotional insecurity? I like to constantly need confirmation that I am not doing anything wrong and that I am still in favor with the person I love or like very much. How do I stop this from happening? Is it not natural to be vulnerable and open with someone...? Is it not natural to be dependent on someone close? Or is it that, I am perfectly fine, but the guys I picked were the wrong choices? Thank you..
2007-04-19 08:57:13 · 6 answers · asked by ? 6 in Social Science ➔ Psychology
I know a girl who does the same thing, and from what I can see, she does that because she is riddle with insecurities. Just remember, you have to love yourself before you can love someone else- maybe you should take a break from relationships and go out and explore who you really are. Once you have a realy identity and a strong personality, you won't feel the need to rely on a guy for emotional security so much anymore.
2007-04-19 09:06:36 · answer #1 · answered by fizzygurrl1980 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
My Goodness. You are talking about 6 months of therapy!!
Time is everything. It is not right to depend on a new relationship. It takes many years to really know you are secure with the right man. Being dependent, vulnerable, and open with a man you have loved for 40 years is magic and wonderful. But if it's a 6 month affair with a boyfriend, that's not good. I wish I could talk to you and ask more questions.
You also ask if you are self-destructive or sabotage your relationships by picking the wrong man. These are weighty questions that take much thought and many questions. Being at a loss here, please look through the self-help section for books and be sure to read a page out of the middle of the book to see if you like the author's style. It's hard to get that much worked out within this format but I wish you the best of luck. Relax and be more careful and ask yourself those questions.
Your friends may not be reliable. Sometimes they tell you what you want (or don't want) to hear instead of being objective.
2007-04-19 09:08:12 · answer #2 · answered by Dovey 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you lack both confidence and experience. Getting needy like that is certainly annoying and would drive me away after a while for sure.
But, at the same time, there are guys who may appreciate it. So I'd say it's both you and your choice of guys.
You could change either and it would probably work out. Though, I'd recommend gaining some confidence since that's all around better than just choosing a guy who likes insecure women. You might even land in an abusive relationship if you let yourself, and that's no good.
2007-04-19 09:07:14 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Based on this and other questions you posted, I think you set yourself up to fail, because your too open with your heart. Reserve some feelings for a time when the guy gives you clues that he's open to a long-term commitment. Relax and be yourself, but be a little more guarded in the early stages of a romantic relationship. Just be a good friend.
2007-04-19 09:05:58 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like you don't feel safe in your relationships. That maybe you have gotten hurt before and you are trying not to let that happen and becoming too possessive to the point of chocking the guy. No man likes to feel hunted, they like to hunt. Let him chase you a little bit. Don't give up your girlfriends or the other things you did just because you are in a relationship, relax a bit and have fun, not so serious.
If you don't feel safe with the guy then you probably made the wrong choice.
2007-04-19 09:04:01 · answer #5 · answered by sneetcher 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
They dont. adult men don't get related and each each and every now and then pretend to be related for his or her very own selfish motives. even while they think of they're related, they nonetheless cheat. I only anticipate adult men have not have been given any emotions (atleast romantically) and leave it at that.
2016-11-25 22:38:26 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋