marriage and realationships who is what?

Question

I have been seeing a big trend in questions recently women saying it is ok to use sex as a weapon and many women saying women in marriage need to be independant.
isn't being married meaning you are not independant you are part of a team you both have a stake in it both have a want to walk the rest of their lives with the other it is disturbing to think you want to be independent in a marriage isn't that just sharing the bills and if you are independent as most say aren't you then saying you can see and have sex with anyone as you did when you were single this goes for men as well though we use other terminology we call it trapped or caught by a woman and tamed so to say
what do you think shouldn't marriage be a loss of independance but not individuality
after all people are unique just like everyone else
it should still mean something is lost as well as gained in marriage I beleive

I feel many of these answers were very good. I will leave it up to others for which is best answer. I beleive maybe 3 of these are best really. I wish I could give best answer to them but will see what others say first.
BTW I said lose your independance but not become dependant you can lose your independance without being dependant on someone else.
I say it is like asking a wise man or woman. you seek their counsel but still make the decision yourself. you just do not rely on only yourself for all the answers.

I also find it interesting the difference in what was said here and in singles and dating there was fewer posts but they seemed a little hostile as well.

Answer 1

You're right. A lot of people want to be married but live single. Just like a lot of them want kids but don't want to sacrifice and live like people without kids. You can keep your individuality and still have the commitment that goes along with marriage. It says it in a nutshell by saying you are sharing your life. That means everything. Good times, problems, money, bills, dreams, work, etc. There's a big difference between being part of each other and smothering each other. As in everything you give up some things and gain some things.

Answer 2

well- why would anyone say that they want independence if they are married?? and people wonder why the divorce rates have gone up since the 80's. People get married now just because for money or because they think they are in love and as soon as sharing bills and responsibilities comes to hand suddenly you want to be independent?? there's no such word in a marriage. You're supposed to work as a team towards the same goals otherwise those people don't belong married they should be single. You can have you individuality but it doens't mean that you're gonna go out whenever you want to places you shouldn't be without your spouse if that's what being independent calls for. I believe marriage is for 2 people and not everyone should get married or is marriage material. As far as women using sex as a weapon against men it's true but not true to all women. At least not me.

Answer 3

The independence you speak of is more of one with a rebellious tone, much like an under-aged child who wants to be independent of their parents because they no longer want to abide their parents rules. However, marriage is much different. Being married does not mean you have to lose your complete independence. After all, you have to rely on yourself for some things. Dependence is a complete reliance on another person. So unless you’re a baby or mentally delayed no one individual is completely dependent on another. Although marriage limits your independence to some extent, it certainly doesn’t constitute a total loss of ones complete independence. However, marriage is a binding of two distinct personalities that are perhaps compatible but hardly identical, so even well-matched couples will experience some conflicts at times. Married couples will not always be in agreement with one another and that should be tolerable as long as each respects the other. On the other hand, using sex to ones advantage or to hurt ones spouse is spiteful and inconsiderate. But all in all, marriage does have its rewards as well its defeats.

Answer 4

I agree with you completely. Marriage should be a lost of independence, but not individuality. I love being married and I am very proud to be a housewife. My husband and I have friends who are living together and they are 2 independent people, but they know that when they get married that will end.

Answer 5

I definitely believe marriage two people with the same goals and hopes for their lives. certainly still individuals but ultimately one. this of course takes work and in today's instant gratification society there doesn't seem to time or patience for marriage. people are always looking for the new and exciting and when it doesn't work...well, they were smothering or some such thing. it's a shame. i love being married and even though it does take some effort sometimes the rewards are so worth it.

Answer 6

Maybe we should fuse people together when they get married? maybe?
Most of us guys love our women but occasionally we wish they had something to do besides hang out with us for a day.That doesn't mean we want to nail some other chic. And as far as the sex as a weapon scenario, you'd have to be a moron if you stay with a woman who does that. Like I told my ex, I wasn't getting it from you so I got it somewhere else. And now I'm with somebody much better and she can keep her crappy weapon.

Answer 7

Being unbiased does NOT imply having intercourse with different guys or performing like you're unmarried. Im a VERY unbiased married girl. It simply signifies that I dont NEED to have him round, however I revel in his enterprise... I can surely continue to exist my possess and make my possess selections... Im now not In this courting when you consider that I NEED to be, however as a substitute when you consider that I prefer to be. I trust you that ladies will have to NOT use intercourse as a weapon, however alternatively, ladies shouldnt have got to supply it up every time the person says so. It will have to be a mutual wish. I dont consider you have got to LOSE some thing... I consider that with the proper compromise and well communications.. noone will have to LOSE some thing, however best attain believe and companionship. Good good fortune

Answer 8

I think a woman who uses sex to get what she wants, even in a marriage, is little better than a prostitute. After all, she is getting paid for it, not monetarily, but she's getting paid nonetheless.

Being married means you're one flesh. God looks at you as one person. The wife is supposed to follow her husband and the husband is supposed to love his wife. Anything less and you just have a mess on your hands.

Answer 9

You are totally correct in my book. I love how you said marriage should "be a loss of independance but not individuality". That's an excellent, excellent statement!

Answer 10

marriage is a team but it's important for the woman to be pulling her weight and making decisions and still being useful because otherwise the man can star to disrespect her and take her for granted...happened to my parents

also it's important for people to have other lives besides just being married, like friends and jobs. Otherwise one or both of them will go crazy!