I think that he has. I found condoms in his truck and his toolbox, even his wallet, and he tells me that they are his friend's. Yeah, right. He also started shaving his pubic area, armpits, and chest around the same time, and some woman was calling our house, cellphones, and even my work. He said she was his friend's wife in the divorce process with the friend, and warned me that she might tell me that they had sex, which he told me, if she does, it wasn't true. I tried to believe him, but I think I was a sucker to keep trying to make our marriage work after finding all those things out.
2007-04-19 08:21:56 · 61 answers · asked by trancegoddess2001 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
On top of all this, I left him very recently and we both filed for divorce, but his got through first. He is accusing me of adultery, which is a blatant lie. I've heard that accusers in these situations of often the ones doing it, and in this case it is true.
2007-04-19 08:46:11 · update #1
If it looks like a duck, walks like a duck and quacks, then it must be a duck. Yea, he cheated.
2007-04-19 08:33:01 · answer #1 · answered by p00756 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Who cares what he accuses you of, you might live in a state with a "no fault divorce" policy anyway. If you don't have children together the only thing that will be split is anything aquired during the time of the marriage. If this guy was legally married at the time he married you that is illegal anyway. At this point I wouldn't worry about whether he is cheating, married or whatever and just get out of that situation. Doesn't sound like a very good one or that you even know this guy.
2007-04-26 10:07:26 · answer #2 · answered by ygtbfkm 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, every single thing you mentioned seems to indicate he was or is cheating. He has a lawyer if he filed for divorce at the same time you did - and his accusing you of adultery may be some sort of legal ploy. Ask your lawyer what is going on with that - he will put it into some kind of perspective for you.
Congratulations - it looks like you are well on your way to getting this guy out of your life.
2007-04-26 00:12:25 · answer #3 · answered by kathyw 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow. Conoms in the toolbox and truck. Sure. All my friend's come to me and say "Hey, Quasi...I have these condoms and I don't want my wife to find them. can I hide them in your glovebox and toolbox?". Plus..."if she says we had sex we didn't"????
Tell me...he told you this and it was unsolicted. I mean...you didn't ask "Hey...are you screwing her?" did you?
Nawww...I didn't think so. Know what hun. not only is he screwing around...Men don't shave their pubic area unless there's alittle surgery action going on. Its obvious she likes "smooth" men.
Know what the real crime is here? Not that he doing someone else.....that he thinks you're stupid and gullible enough to believe this tripe. He's already done it baby....cut and dried and no matter what he tells you otherwise...he's lying. Bad liar too I might add.
The reason he told you this outlandish tale about "if this woman calls and said we screwed" story? A guilty conscience needs no accuser.
Sorry hun. Get a good divorce lawyer. Why lower yourself to the level of this clown. You can do better I'm sure.
2007-04-19 08:30:34 · answer #4 · answered by Quasimodo 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
OK are you blind??? Good lord girl open up your eyes!! Not only is this guy a cheater but he is a liar too. What grown man carries his friends condoms in his wallet? And why would his friends ex wife be calling you at home and at work unless your husband has been having regular contact with her. Perhaps your hubby came onto her and she doesn't want to be the other woman or maybe she had sex with your husband.Either way I wouldn't want a thing to do with him, if this is what is going on.It is not your place to prove that he is guilty ( you have the proof, condoms) but it is his place to prove his innocents. STAND FIRM AND BE TUFF!!! This could be the rocky road to a less stressful life. Good Luck
2007-04-19 08:35:39 · answer #5 · answered by Maggi 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh Honey, I am sorry, but all the signs are there. Enough to slap you right up side the head.
If you could stay with him after him cheating I would recommend that you see a marriage counselor together.
Other wise, document all of the information you have, keep good records, get itemized copies of your cell phone bill and call a good attorney.
2007-04-19 08:40:34 · answer #6 · answered by hi_stk_n 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes he is cheating on you but guess what, its not the end of the world. Yes is a liar and a cheater and they normally don't change, so you have already confronted him about it and he went so far as to tell you that lame az crap like you were some dummy that would believe that one of his friends wife is going to call you and may say we had sex but don't believe her, tell him not to insult your intelligence. Okay, you are a strong woman who does not need a man to define who you are and what you are, put on your boots and get to stepping. Let his az go and let him go quick. If he wants her let him have her because she will be in your shoes real soon, walk away and don't look back. good luck
2007-04-19 08:29:15 · answer #7 · answered by Pegi 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's easy for our mind to play tricks on us in order to try and cope with what is going on. You were trying to save yourself from heart break. Ofcourse, when you read this, I am sure now you realize that he was not faithful.
I know how humialting that is to have him accuse you when you were faithful and upheld the wedding vows. That in itself proves that he has cheated you once again. A man who loves a woman, doesn't tarnish her image or her self respect. He fights for it until the end.
Work on healing yourself......learning from the experience. Mr. Right will come along and you will appreciate him even more because of what your husband did to you.
I suggest sending the other woman flowers and thanking her for taking him off your hands...wish her the best of luck because it will happen to her too. He has issues within himself and that is why he cheated.
2007-04-19 11:05:53 · answer #8 · answered by heartwhisperer2000 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have to face reality and like the old saying goes, if it quacks, acts and walk like a duck, then it's a duck! To answer your question, if appears that those are signs of an unfaithful spouse. Don't feel like a sucker, this has happened to many both men and women, some people have no convictions and don't care who they hurt. One thing is to stay encouraged and as much as possible, feel good about yourself and know he is at fault and not you!
2007-04-19 08:38:37 · answer #9 · answered by twinkieb68 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, it sounds like the evidence is there and it is your choice whether you want to take action. Maybe he is trying to back paddle his way out of his bad choice. Cheating men drive me crazy!!
I found out my husband was making plans to cheat on me. (as far as I know he did not but I don’t know for sure.) When I found what he was saying to these women on the computer it make me sick for weeks. Point being, sometimes finding out is a good thing because you can take action and fix your marriage or choose to move on. If you really want to make this work try counselling.
Repairing a marriage is a joint effort.
2007-04-19 08:37:55 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would say that he is cheating, esp. with you finding condoms everywhere. If the shaving thing has just started and is not the norm..he is definitely cheating. Yes, if he is the guilty one it is easier for him to place the blame by saying that you are doing the same. I am sorry for you having to go through this. It hurts now, but it will get better.
2007-04-26 02:43:11 · answer #11 · answered by emeraldfire68 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋