newborn wants to be held constantly!?

Question

my baby is about a month old, the past week he has been so fussy. he won't go in his swing, or lay on his bassinet. he wants to be held 24/7. if i'm not holding him or if i don't pick him up he screams and screams until i do. it's bad. he will fall asleep in my arms & the second i put him down, he wakes up and cries! i don't know what to do. help!

also, even when i swaddle him, he will lay there kicking and crying. he hates the pacifier, he just spits it out, every time!

Answer 1

Swaddle him. Remember he's been nice and snug in your belly for the past 9-10 months. He still likes to be warm and snug, so you'll need to wrap him like they did in the hospital.
Have you tried a pacifier?

Answer 2

My little guy didn't really want to be held all the time. My problem was that I didn't want to put him down. You can't spoil a newborn with too much love. For those that say to let him cry, think about how you would feel if you were in a new place, had no idea about anything that was going on, and were totally left alone. I've had some people say, "Crying is good for his lungs." Yeah. Just like bleeding is good for the veins. Every time you answer his needs, he learns to trust you more, and eventually the crying will lessen. Do look into getting a sling. The baby stays close to you and feels your movements, but you will have your hands free to do any household chores you might feel up to doing. Another option is to cosleep. I have a cosleeper that attaches to the bedframe. This way he is on a separate sleep surface, but I can still reach out and touch him so he doesn't feel so alone. Once again, this will help instill trust and bonding, which leads to a happier baby.

Answer 3

You can't spoil a newborn baby. Don't forget, if you held him for 12 hours a day, that is still HALF As much as he is used to being held, while he was snuggled up inside you.

The recommendation of swaddling is good. It should be quite snug. Rocking, swinging, bouncing/jiggling and walking the baby are all ways to help his fussiness. Babies also like to suck and my son was a sucker (haha) for white noise. I would turn on a staticky TV or radio channel when he was inconsolable and he would stop crying.

He cried inconsolably all the time for almost 3 months... all day and all night. Some of this was due to reflux and some was just that he was a high needs baby.

Don't fear though, because I held him all the time and gave him everything he needed, he's now 4.5 months old and he spends plenty of time entertaining himself and often cries to be put down so he can just have some time to himself. I've never let him cry for more than a minute or so and he can put himself to sleep and even self-soothe.

It will get better... just snuggle that bub and remember that in a few short months, he'll be racing away from you... so take your snuggles while you can!

Answer 4

I know how stressful and frustrating it can be, both of my twins were the same way, but thats just what newborns do, they need to feel safe. As frustrating as it may be right now, just enjoy it because once my girls hit about 4 months, they got very independent, so much so that the only way I can get any cuddle time with them now is to wake up in the middle of the night and hold them while they're sleeping, they won't even let anyone rock them to sleep now. But I also know that you have other things that need to get done around the house, the BEST solution that I found during this time was to use the babywrap/sling. I'm sure you've probably heard of them if you don't already have one, but I was able to put both babies in the sling, it held them close and tight to my chest/belly while still leaving my hands free to vacuum, do dishes, fold clothes, etc... then when they would sleep, I had my housework done so that I could rest. I also found that they LOVED the noise from the vacuum. Sometimes I could put them in their bassinets or gliders and vacuum around them and they would go to sleep. Still to this day they sleepwith a humidfier and fan running in their nursery just for the white noise. But if all else fails, just lie down in the recliner with your little one on your chest and enjoy it while it lasts and when times get tough and stressful just close your eyes take a deep breath and remember this to shall pass. Before you know it you'll be missing these days.

Answer 5

Some babies just need to be close to their moms much more, every child is different. I suggest you buy a sling, so your baby can be close to you but at the same time it will give you the freedom to continue with your daily life. Just snuggle her, those few months are so precious, when she gets older she'll be more independent and will miss those sunggly days.. I know I do :( She's on the run lately! I really found the slings to be very useful they last till the child is over 1 yr old. The baby can lie down comfortably in it, and go to sleep while feeling your closeness. Besides it's great for breastfeeding! My daughter loved the sling, specially when she wasnt feeling well, the only thing that would calm her down was being in it. Best of luck!

Answer 6

My daughter was the same way now she is 3 months and it has gotten a lot better what I did was put her blankets in the dryer so they get nice and hot wrap her up all tight and give her a pacifer and she would go right to sleep. Every now and then she just want to be held and so what I do for that is I bought one of those front packs and I put her in it while I do all my house work I also have a 2 year old so I can't always hold her so the fron't pack always helps me out

Answer 7

Try the four S's:
1. Swaddle snugly, as everyone else suggested.
2. Suckle,again as suggested use a pacifier.
3. Sway,create a steady,continuous rocking motion.
4. Shush.Get a sound machine that makes sound of water or shushing noise continuously.
Doing all these simultaneously emulates sensations of the womb.

Answer 8

My first child was really fussy. I know how frustrating it can be. But there is no way to spoil a new born. They have no way of knowing cause and effect of their actions. Just hold your baby a little longer and a little tighter. My daughter was calmed by the sound of running water. I would sit in the bathroom with her and let the water run. My second child took showers with me. I would sit in the tub and let the shower water run. It always did the trick. Also try to make sure your more relaxed. Especially when its your first child, you can end up feeling really stressed out, and your baby can feed off of that. Unless you can find a way to relax it can become a bad cycle.

Answer 9

It is normal for a baby (especially a newborn) to want to be held all the time. Have you tried a baby carrier? Perhaps you could find your local chapter of NINO (Nine In Nine Out) and attend a free meeting, where you can try out baby carriers and learn how to use them. What about co-sleeping? Did you know that co-sleeping reduces the risk of SIDS and makes night feeding easier? I put some links below.

Answer 10

are you formula or breastfeeding? if formula it may be he has an upset stomach or gas...if breast try cutting different things out of your diet he may have a sensitive tummy to whatever you are eating

some babies are what doctors and other professionals deem "high needs babies" my first son was one...he would scream and scream and scream some more..I had to hold him constantly...after about 3 months of barely being able to get anything done he relaxed and would sit happily by himself and play.....it just takes time...he probably misses being in your warm belly where he felt safe and calm...thats all he has ever known and now hes been thrust into this world full of sensations, odors and the like....also try swaddling him tightly...they love that it makes them feel like they are back in the womb

Answer 11

my son will be 2 months on the 23rd and hes the same way. its not being spoiled when they are that little they feel secure and safe in our arms. they were brought into this world and its scary for them. what i have done with my son is make sure hes asleep and i put him on his side and put his little baby pillow behind his back and wrap him up good in his blanket and that seems to work. i guess he feels secure like that to. my son hated his bassinet most babies do because the mattress is so thin and hard.my son just started sleeping in his crib and he just started liking his swing because he can now see and focus on the mobile. good luck hope i helped out