She doesnt show up to court and expects me to pay 500 dollars to see him. I dont have court order bec she doesnt show up to court so I cant set up visitation. I am not ordered to pay child support. Would you still hide your child from the other party? Our lawyers have a agreement to do this on friday yet she still does this game.
2007-04-19 08:08:48 · 24 answers · asked by dirbe22 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
the only person she is hurting is your child......she wants support but doesn't show up?...maybe you should fight for custody.....that will get her to court.....seems to me she is only interested in what is best for her and not your child
2007-04-19 08:13:49 · answer #1 · answered by teddybears 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You should really get your lawyer into this more. There is no way, legally, you child's mother can hold your child from seeing you especially when she is being told to come to court. Unless she feels that you are a danger to her or your child. Your lawyer really needs to look into that or get a police escort to have her at the court. It really needs to be explained that since you dont pay child support you should get some type of visitation. Why by the way don't you pay child support? Did she just not ask for it, or the court says legally you care for the child the same amount? Whatever that case may be, I personally would not hold the father from seeing the child. She needs to realize that alot of fathers now-a-days dont even want anything to do with their child. She should feel blessed that you want to be with your child and care for it. My brother went throught he same thing. They actually went to her house and got her a way to go to court because she said she wasn't going because she didn't have a ride there. But they picked her up, and now he has custody of his son because she was proven unfit (but not for not going to court). Maybe give her a call. I know that probably wont work or else you would have did it right lol But good luck. Make sure you lawyer really does what he/she can that's what you are paying them for :)
2007-04-19 08:22:01 · answer #2 · answered by April 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like she is hurt, so she is using your child to get back at you and make you hurt! I know that you are not ordered to pay child support, but maybe you should give her something small, maybe $100 she is taking care of your child. Just keep track of what you give her, it will look good when you go to court if you can prove that you have been paying child support without being told to. If she didn't show up for court you should have been granted custody. Maybe you can meet in the middle, someone else needs to explain to her that she is only hurting her child. Good Luck
2007-04-19 08:26:00 · answer #3 · answered by Purple_passion2805 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you arent ordered by the courts to pay child support then I wouldnt pay a dime. If she doesnt have custody then drop by and take your kid for a visit. I would get your lawyer to petition the court for visitation and make her bring the child to you. But any mother, whose a good mother, wouldnt want her child to grow up in a single parent home without a dad. I would definitely talk to your lawyer about getting visitation rights.
2007-04-19 08:15:27 · answer #4 · answered by brideofsatan_1 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
My fiance had a similar situation with his ex. She is a crazy ***. She was lying to him saying that he had to pay her a certain amount in child support every month or the baby would lose her health insurance. He doesn't make very much money right now, so it was a strain for him to pay her all of the money she was asking for. The minute he found out that she was lying to him he quit paying. Don't listen to people saying that you're a dead-beat dad, they don't know your situation. I'm sure that when you have your child you support him, and the mom sounds like a complete loon in your situation and just wants to screw you over.
Maybe work something out with her like we did with the baby-mama. My fiance asked her to give him a list of things that the baby needs and then WE go to the store and get the things and he gives them to her. We aren't even spending 1/4 of what she was asking for every month. And oddly enough, since he quit giving her money, he's been having HER bill collectors call his cell phone like CRAZY. Don't ask why she gives out his phone number as her phone number, because we don't even know. She also almost had her car repossessed..
I really wish that people would learn how to use condoms...it would avoid a lot of these situations.
But if I were you, I would DEFINITELY try to get custody or something. She sounds a bit unstable and flaky, not showing up to court and all, just think about the well-being of your child.
2007-04-19 08:59:44 · answer #5 · answered by jezyka 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No way - she is only hurting the child. You need to get a court order and quick. Be prepared, though, as they may require you to pay back child support from either the time of the separation, or if you weren't married, from the birth of the child. Either way, get it set up so you can see your child on a regular basis....that way if she keeps him from you she is in contempt of the court and can go to jail.
2007-04-19 08:14:21 · answer #6 · answered by Tangled Web 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
well when you go to court if she does not show up you are still able to visitaiton, she don't need to be their for you to get visitaiton, if anything she is in contempt for not showing up to court. No I would not hold my child 'hostage' from their dad however if I was divorced my husband would pay child support and take care of the children he also produced.
2007-04-19 08:14:02 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Only if the father was not a good one. If a man is making every effort to do right by his kid, and maintain a close relationship, then money shouldn't be an issue. My kid's happiness and well-being is more important than money. However: If a man is trying to do right by his kid, then he would be making sure he provided for that kid......unless he's disabled, there's no reason one shouldn't provide, or at least help out with his own child.
But overall- NO, children are not tools! They should not be used to punish others. I think this should be listed as a form of child abuse (mental).
2007-04-19 08:15:32 · answer #8 · answered by Jenintn 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you should not .....not let your see there father or mother because of child support.......the only thing that is going to happen the child and are not going to have a relationship.....or once he or she gets older they are going to not like one or both of the parents. you should always let the parent visit their children....there are so many people who are trying to do right....she should keep your child from.you but then again if she's not coming to how do you know if that's your child....you should to reason with her...or just let the court handle it....BUT IN THE END IF THINGS DON'T CHANGE YOUR CHILD WILL PAY IN THE END.
2007-04-19 08:18:56 · answer #9 · answered by gabby_union03 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why don't you both come to some agreement with child support. Giving some money over to support your child will help your ex give the child a better quality of life and you will also see a diffrence with your ex's attatude toward's you. With her known that you are willing to help in your child's welfare she may be more leniate with you. Remember you child will miss you also and why should a child be in between the parent's argument. Don't you both not think there has been enough problem's in the child's young life.
2007-04-19 08:44:30 · answer #10 · answered by vintagechic1 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
She does not have to show up in court in order for you to get an order of visitation.
You need to get one ASAP.
And you need to start sending what you can in child support.
you don't need an order from the courts to do the right thing.
P.S. When you do give her money for child support, don't give her cash, give her checks or money orders so when you do have to go to court you will have proof of what you have paid.
2007-04-19 08:23:10 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋