Can we express sympathy for the Cho family?

Question

The picture of the VT gunman emerges as a person with a devastating mental illness, a paranoia which was not caused by his family or anybody else. It was a disorder of the brain chemistry, making him believe that everybody hated and wanted to torment him.
I am sure his family feels horrible over this, and I am equally sure that they bear no responsibility for it . It was simply their misfortune to be his family. They are victims as much as the families of the murder victims. I would like to express my sympathy for them. Anybody else?

Linda, I know what you're saying but I have much experience with paranoiacs, and it isn't caused by ill treatment. It is caused by a brain disorder. In fact, paranoiacs delusionally believe they've been mistreated when they haven't. I'm convinced this is the case with Cho. And the law is such that it is extremely hard to get treatment for an adult against his will. We see this all the time. But most mentally ill persons are not as dangerous as he turned out to be.

Answer 1

I agres with you (First Dragon). I'm sure that his family feels horrible over this and never in their worse nightmare could've imagine something like this could have happened. This guy have pure hatred towards society regardless how he was treated. He was so sensitive, so pessimistic, so paranoia as a result to the mental illness that he endured to the point that he took it out on others. There was nothing anybody could do to change that, even his family members. In addition, it is unfortunate that psychiatric facility could not keep a patient under involuntary circumstances. I agree with you and would also like to express my sympathy for the Cho family as well as Seung Hui's victim.

Answer 2

First Dragon ... Yes, of course there will be out-pourings of sympathy. We're all feeling sorry for the Cho family and their neighbors. I think they've been somewhat affected too.

Now, I don't want to sound like a cynic, but the media outlets are not finished with this story. In a worst-case situation, I can imagine it won't be long before the media start to somewhat "hound" the family for a story.

A movie will be made about this ... I have NO doubt.

Already the talk shows are questioning the value and wisdom of so freely and ceaselessly playing these grisly videos. So if the massacre doesn't grab your attention, the controversies created in the aftermath will.

I'm sure the lawyers are lining up also. From a legal point of view, although the university may not be criminally responsible, I'm sure some people — especially civil attorneys — will be looking to lay much of the blame with the school. It's now clear that school officials were keenly aware of Cho's mental issues, yet the actions taken by the university seemed inadequate.

Do I blame the school? No, not entirely. Although they clearly had knowledge of Cho's serious problems, they were between a rock and a hard place ... I'll explain what I mean.

If someone showed up to the university with a T-shirt that said, "I hate you all and wish you dead," what could have been done? If a school authority determined this is a needlessly provocative form of expression and demanded removal of the student, the ACLU would be the first to complain that the student's rights to free expression are being violated.

On the other hand, if the ACLU won the argument, but later a massacre resulted, the same people who complained about rights being violated would be the FIRST to complain that there were warning signs, but the school took no action."

Lastly, I've been wondering this: We know about Cho's public behavior, but I have to wonder how he interacted with his family. Not just yet, but sooner or later someone's going to confront the family and ask whether they knew how sick Cho was. It might end with that question. But if the family answers with something other than "We had no idea," a flood of additional enquiries will follow.

Well, this is more than you asked about, but I offered these additional comments because the sympathy we all want to express is being tarnished by the media frenzy we're presently witnessing. To an extent, I admit that my comments and predictions may seem to be contributing to this frenzy I refer to. That's clearly not my intention, though ... I'm not a journalist, broadcaster, nor a member of the media. I hope you and other Answers users will understand.

Thanks for a good question/suggestion.

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Additional comment: This young man must have been painfully shy, not to mention other issues that may have affected him. Now a news article reveals that in Cho's high school, in one classroom incident, when a teacher forced him to participate, Cho's performance drew laughter/ridicule from his classmates: "As soon as he started reading, the whole class started laughing and pointing and saying, 'Go back to China,' " the article said.

Well, as someone who once had a speech impediment myself, let me tell you that from this one incident alone, he must have been terribly hurt. I feel this incident was one of several that probably had a very lasting effect on Cho. I must add that Koreans have a very strong sense of national pride; being confused with another Asian country, whether intentional or not, was an extremely powerful blow to his psyche. Knowing that his classmates would intentionally torment him in this way is something he would NEVER forget. Combine these experiences with other mental afflictions he may have had, and . . . . . Well, we already know the results.

Answer 3

Based on the content of the play he wrote and the concerns of his English professor, it seemed that Cho felt this way because of how his family treated him.

I wouldn't feel any sadness for his family. Why should I? Not only was it their obligation to seek help for their son while he was underage and clearly in need of it, but it was their obligation to not mistreat him (apparently) to the point where his "mental illness" would come to a point where it was lethal and would cause the deaths of innocent people.

There is absolutely no reason why I should express sympathy for people who clearly did not care for their child enough to save him from what ailed him.

I am not defending this guy in anyway - nooo way. But having years of experience in working in the mental health field, I've learned that in certain situations, especially in the context of children or young adults, there are other things that come into play here. In order to fully understand the extent of his mental illness, you would need to listen to what he is trying to express without getting all "ahh he's a psycho killer".

But of course, it's pretty much impossible to think of anyone who has killed another person as a human being and not an animal.

When a "child" or a person who is barely an adult kills someone... the parents are not entirely to blame... but they aren't entirely innocent either. There's so much here.... that nobody is talking about, and most of you will probably not understand....

My point is, I'm not defending Cho Seung Hui. I'm just saying if his parents did a better job of communicating with their child and (I'm taking a guess here), showing him affection, perhaps he wouldn't have went on a rampage.

You only do things in reaction to what you've ingested your entire life. Something he saw/heard... whatever... years of hearing things, seeing things... made him do what he did.

Answer 4

Parents more than anyone else know when their child is ill! I am sure that the parents knew that Cho was very sick. If he behaved the way he did with strangers can you imagine how he acted with the family! There are lots of kids who are horribly ridiculed in school, that is no justification to go to college and many years later kill 30 people. My sympathy goes to the families of those that were shot execution style by Cho! Those poor boys and girls never had a chance!

Answer 5

basically people who've suffered from abuse, or attend or understand somebody who attends Virginia Tech have the surprising to attack Cho. anybody else is clueless. that may not meant to be recommend, yet once you have lived a happy flow fortunate existence, you do not understand what that's pick to truly stay in hell the full existence. Cho deserved to get the help that he mandatory (he mandatory to be institutionalized for an prolonged volume of time), and for the actual incontrovertible fact that he did not get that help and lived a tortured existence for over 2 many years, he gets my sympathy. regulations could be replaced in the wake of this tragedy. thank you.

Answer 6

I expressed this earlier in another answer, they are victims as well. I pray they get through this, what a horrible thing for a parent to know, their child could do such a thing.
I pray for their safety after some of the nut job comments I have seen here.

Answer 7

I agree, no matter what he did, he was still their child. It has to be agony for them to watch this over and over. I think that the news media should not only take into consideration the victim's families, but also Cho's family. They were innocent in all of this and don't deserve any less respect than the other families.

Answer 8

No, I keep thinking it will be a shame if they cannot study any part of his brain so that research might be able to discover something new based on how his brain was wired. But he did shoot himself in the head. Thank you for grounding me.

I truthfully haven't even thought about them. I have been watching and listening to the killer's tapes. They need prayer and comfort too, no matter who they are. They must be very afraid and feeling guilty and forsaken.You are a kind person.

Answer 9

I totally feel where you are coming from and agree that he was a tormented soul whose brain distorted his reality. His family will now have to carry this with them till the end of their days. But. how do they feel about what he did? I have yet to hear from them (not saying they haven't made a statement, I just haven't seen/heard it).
I'm interested in what they feel about it and if they will make excuses or try to justify it.
If they do, then not so much sympathy

Answer 10

Well i can understand your sympathy for the family but if they knew that their son had this problem they should have gotten him the appropriate help so they really are not victims they let this went on way to long so they have lost their son due to their stupidity and ignorance you have a great day.