When on a business trip, how much socializing is too much? (for a married person)?

Question

I certainly don't expect a man/woman to sit in their room staring at the walls. I have no problem with being sociable with co-workers and having dinner and a few drinks, maybe returning to room around 10-11:00. But anything more than a few drinks, and any time later than that seems to be a recipe for trouble if you ask me. What are your opinions? Where should one draw the line?

Answer 1

There is no line to be drawn. It would be so easy then. For someone to know how much socializing is too much they either need to rely on their own comfort zone or on an understanding between the husband and wife. The socializer's comfort zone may be quite different than the one not on the business trip.

I have found the one thing that is a relationship killer is that the spouse that goes on the trips is not forthcoming or truthful about what he or she did on the trip, no matter how uncomfortable it might be to talk about it.

The best approach is to sit down and set out the ground rules by discussing them in advance and sticking to them unless one or the other requests a change in the ground rules.

And then talk about what happened on the trip when the spouse returns.

It is deception and secrecy that ruins a relationship even if the spouse isn't doing anything to put them self in a compromising situation.

Answer 2

Here is the line. Its a very thin line.
When whatever you are doing results in a warm hug and kiss you have stepped over the line.
Before that line is crossed its fair game.

That being said, that is the line for spouses. Where the employer may have some interest, closing the bar might indicate some issues of personal responsibilty that would concern them.

Answer 3

It's very simple. Any socializing is fine, as long as the married person wouldn't mind if there was a video taken of all the socializing, and the spouse gets to watch the video,.When the "socializing" is something you wouldn't want the spouse to see- it's too much.

Answer 4

Each individual has their own comfort zones. Setting a strict guideline doesn't work for me. Although I tend to agree with you, for others it is no big deal to go later into the evening.