Please read and advise me...I am really confused & worried about whether what I am feeling & doing is unnecessary? The guy I love (who doesn't reciprocate my feelings at this stage..but who I am in touch with) is living in another country. During this stage, I got in touch with his friend in urgency (who I had never talked to before) to find out what's going on with the guy I love coz he wasn't responding. I was emotionally distressed. This friend lent me a warm shoulder and helped me out. Since then, I got kinda attached to this friend I think. I liked talking to him. I started calling him often, but I think it backfired since he said he has been busy. I guess I became a lil emotionally dependent on this friendship which wasn't reciprocated strongly either. It has very become awkward now for another reason. I told this friend I am uncomfortable becoz the guy I love is in another country, and I *feel* like I am in touch with his friend behind his back.
2007-04-19 06:05:13 · 9 answers · asked by ? 6 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
Contd. .. which is not true becoz the guy I love knows that we are in touch. So I voiced my concern to this guy friend, and he agreed that it IS a lil awkward because our common friend is not in the country. So we impulsively decided we will talk only once-in-a-bluemoon. I am feel really awkward and weird about this situation. Is there anything wrong with being in touch with my guy’s friend as long as things are kept in the open? Will I be taken wrong? Or do you think what we did, bout stopping contact, was the right thing to do? I just feel sad about being misunderstood and losing a nice friend. But am also worried, what if this friend goes and talks wrong about me to the guy I love? Should I just keep my distance? Or be open and make a new friend? Thank you so much. Sorry for the length...of the question..but had to describe..
2007-04-19 06:06:16 · update #1
Since neither guy is reciprocating your affections, drop them both and find a man who likes you for who you are and not your relationships with others.
I wonder if you are not good at taking 'hints'? The friend in the country hinted that you were not to continue developing the friendship and the guy overseas has certainly told/hinted that you are not his woman.
Stop wasting your time with dramas that will lead to nowhere, and find friends here who will develop into nurturing relationships.
You diagnosed yourself as a "lil emotionally dependent" A little?? No, more like a LOT.
Time to mature honey. Get a grip and leave both of these men to themselves.
2007-04-19 06:12:50 · answer #1 · answered by thisbrit 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Tocca:
Friends are friends, just that. The fact that you made this friend via the guy you love should be just one more reason to treasure his friendship! Him being a good buddy of the guy you love should make your love feel SECURE in the fact that he KNOWS this guy AND knows you, so there should be little to no insecurities about wether or not your friendship is "taboo." You went to him becasue he may have had the inside scoop on why your "love"w as avoiding you & he leant a comforting shoulder & (I HOPE!) some answers. You might want to take a step back & ask yourself why is your love ignoring you in the first place? If he doesn't LOVE you back, why in the HELL are you even pushing the subject? It would seem to me, in all honesty ,that the friend is more of an open, loving & caring guy, who WOULD reciprocate your love & feelings!) Why chase after a guy who lives in another country & who DOESNT love you in return!?! That just doesn't make sense. It sounds to me, in your deepest heart, that you have fallen for the friend. You can love a guy who's far away & who doesn't love you back, or you can have the real thing, right in front of your eyes, alive & breathing & already haven proven that he cares BACK....it's your choice. Search your heart. Best of luck.
2007-04-19 06:16:17 · answer #2 · answered by Spiral_Dancer 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ok-well first get the clue-you said that the guy does not share your feelings, so move on. what more do you need to understand that. also, the friend probably found the same issues with you that the first guy seen or felt for him not to feel the same way. drop them both, get the clue and move on. unless you are 100 years old, you can find someone else instead of pussyfooting around with the 2 guys that dont feel the same about you.
2007-04-19 06:11:14 · answer #3 · answered by buzyb 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
properly I incredibly have been there. many human beings look decrease back on relationships and think of approximately what happend and that is as quickly as we predict of of the dumb issues we did yet you may not replace them now. all of us make errors, If she nonetheless has some activity i might attempt to verify if we could desire to commence returned yet surprising the errors I made in the previous by potential of not repeating them. If she isn't involved then i might basically flow on attempt to discover different issues to absorb my ideas and time. do not unfastened your self residing in this or you would be able to miss out on somebody that should be with you.
2016-10-12 22:52:01 · answer #4 · answered by virgin 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds to me like you are trying to hedge your bets or keep two fish on the string without either one suspecting anything. Maybe you should find a third in case these two get away.
2007-04-19 06:21:23 · answer #5 · answered by don n 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are in love with one guy, but carrying on an emotional affair with the friend.
Why not date someone that is in the same country you are in?
2007-04-19 06:09:39 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I feel your pain.
But my advice to you is to back of of them both. Let them come to you. If either of them wants to keep a friendship or more let them tell you that. You have made it clear how you felt & the ball is in their court now.
2007-04-19 06:15:59 · answer #7 · answered by Kier22_2 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dump them both and find a guy who lives in your neighborhood, not to mention same country!
2007-04-19 06:08:57 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to move on and look inside yourself and ask why you attach yourself so easily to people you don't know.
2007-04-19 06:14:13 · answer #9 · answered by GoldieRetriver 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋