If you are not good, then, you are bad?

Question

Why shouldn't we evaluate ourselves by other people appreciation?
I mean, they say: you do not need to have a man to be good; or you do not have to be popular to be good; or to be successful to be good.
But doesn't it mean that if a woman is unable to get men, she is bad; and if she is not popular she is bad; and if she is not successful, she is not good at what she is doing, that it, bad?
That, if no one appreciate the person's inner qualities, then there are none?

Answer 1

I don't think that you are neccesarily "bad", persay. Just because you are not good at something does not mean that you are "bad" at it, it means that that is simply not your high point. But then there is always the other angle where the reason you aren't good is because you are, in fact, "bad". So in short I see your point and it is a valid one that can be defended, but then it is not always right. ^_^

Answer 2

Life as a way of beating people down.It can start with the birth parents, siblings, school and the rest of society. So we have this inner need to compete. To not have that "loser" label on our foreheads. All the other negatives that make us less than human in the eyes of others. It just becomes a big "Rat Race" at times where us rats are in a big maze scrambling around for that cheese. ( Financial success, popularity etc. ) Some of us fall to the side of the road and some of us chose to get out ,hopefully with our dignity intact. Sometimes we do not take the time to "see" those inner qualities that are inside ourselves and others. Some times people are afraid of turning away from that maze and looking for those qualities that you are searching for in your fellow man. So keep an open mind and be respectful of as many peop[le as you can and then others will see your inner qualities and maybe a little of themselves also.

Answer 3

But you said it in the beginning,
Why evaluate yourself based on other peoples standards?

Men don't say ONE thing about your personality, With the BILLIONS of men in the world,
it's going to take time to find the right one.

Popularity doesn't matter, cause when your on a high horse, the fll is a lot more painfull

Success, everyone is successfull if they look for it. I may not be rich, i am just a receptionist, and that's not sucess, but when I look at my friends, my accomplishments, my family,
there's m success.
And you never know what tomarrow will bring

Answer 4

I think you've got a hold of a misunderstanding.

A person's goodness isn't defined by whether or not they have a man, or are popular or are successful. A successful person could be good or bad. Likewise an unsuccessful person can be good or bad.

It sounds obvious, but a person is good if they are good. What you define as "good" will depend on your own values, experiences, etc.

Answer 5

Seeking acceptness through others ideals and definition only encourages idolotry. Good and bad are only terms that are applicable through societies ideology. Einstein was considered great at what he did. So great actually that he later spurned his own greatness by realising that his greatness could be used by others to destroy life more greatly because of him. We are so arrogant in assuming that what we realise is it so to speak. I believe there is no good or bad, no good or evil. Just being. It's all about perspective. I mean what changes when we are here is so open to debate that we as a society keeps redefining our morals and ideals on a day to day basis. The spanish inquisition was responsible for thousands upon thousands of death and misery. At the time it was referenced as a good thing, a means to glorify God and be used as his retributional hammer. Do we really think God needs our help to do this? Is murder bad but defending your country by killing good? After all taking life is taking life, but we define motives and time as our own. We are soo selfish in assumption. Arrogant enough to believe that we are responsible for the world's and our universes moral code. Animals dont have choices they have instinct, as long as they follow that instinctual planning they survive. We as humans have gravitated away from instinctual influence, therefore finding it necessary to redefine our instincts to satisfy our concepts and natural ideals. The only thing we are guaranteed is choice. we should be grateful for that first and judge last.

Answer 6

Why bother judging one's goodness in relation to others, who are not them? It's not their life, it's not their happiness, it's not their qualities.

By that reasoning then one may as well not exist when one is alone. But, that's odd, it would seem that we do.

Own your life!


Fame or integrity: which is more important?
Money or happiness: which is more valuable?
Success of failure: which is more destructive?

If you look to others for fulfillment,
you will never truly be fulfilled.
If your happiness depends on money,
you will never be happy with yourself.

Be content with what you have;
rejoice in the way things are.
When you realize there is nothing lacking,
the whole world belongs to you.
--Tao Te Ching

Answer 7

People usually think something totally different of you than you think they do, so why bother wondering what others think.

Answer 8

So much to think about so little time

Answer 9

No you are just human