that she cannot leave her hubby until her two teen daughters are off to college in 3 years.
Should I stay or should I go?
I posted this story previously but would like insight from new people. Please read my previous question to better understand where I am at in my relationship.
2007-04-19 04:47:08 · 19 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
She does love me, I feel her heart. We are very much connected.
2007-04-19 04:52:14 · update #1
We don't need to read your previous questions to give you an answer to your question. It doesn't matter if she loves you or not. You were wrong to have an affair with a married woman. You began the relationship for sexual reasons, so why did you ever think she'd leave her husband for you anyway. Let her go. If one day, she's divorced, you can pick up where you left off.
2007-04-19 05:06:48 · answer #1 · answered by Miami Lilly 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Listen, you cannot put your life on hold for her, she has already proven to you she is not stable and someone that you should not trust. Remember the old saying, if they cheat on the spouse, what makes you think she is not going to cheat on you. She is someone that you should not trust. I think that you are just infatuated with this woman but she belongs to someone else and to tell you the truth if you decide to keep seeing her and wait the 3 yrs, I guarantee you that she is going to come up with another excuse. I am not telling you something I heard or read about, I'm telling you what I know, this is from experience. Don't let her do this to you, move on and find someone that is not off limits and can love you for the person you and and don't have to hide and sneak around with. You are a grown man-those are childish games, she is never going to leave him and as soon as you come to grips with this and move on the better off you will be, its better to hurt a little bit now than a whole lot later because the more you stay the more attached you will become and the more dangerous the situation becomes. Leave her now and move on-there are more than enough single women out here that can give you what you truly desire.
2007-04-19 05:04:02 · answer #2 · answered by Pegi 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you are really serious about a long-term with her, then you HAVE to back off. That is the only way she will respect you in the long run. This will give her the space she needs to handle her business, give the relationship the test of time that it needs, and more importantly, earn yourself some respect. Tell her you cant do a married woman anymore, that the two of you should go your separate ways and hopefully can be together someday "when it is meant to be". Dont be her "waiting pet". It will eventually turn her off big-time. blessings and good luck.
2007-04-19 05:09:49 · answer #3 · answered by undone 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Only you know in your heart what is best for you.
My personal advice, either she leaves her husband for you by the end of this year or it will not happen for you. If she still insists on waiting another 3 years, you should move on. Give her time to think about what she really wants. If anything, she will be missing that good dick you have been giving her. LOL! To be honest, I think she is only in it for the dick. Some of us women are like that, not many, but some are.
Good luck
2007-04-19 05:26:05 · answer #4 · answered by donte' 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Look to the future man. Don't you want a family of your own?? And just because the kids are off to college, do you think that will solve the problem?? They still will be very upset and angry if their mom leaves their dad !!! What makes you think the husband will willingly give her a divorce? You're not thinking clearly because of the " rush of new love". But when the dew falls off the bud, and you are thinking clearly again, it will be too late. One day, you will wake up and say, " What the hell was I thinking???"
2007-04-19 05:00:03 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You know I think you have to follow your heart and see if you have it in you to stay around for that long and bypass what someone else might offer. I do not ever suggest to get involved with someone who is an a relationship because lets be honest, 9 out of 10 times they stay with their spouse. You should really talk to her and see really how she feels about YOU and make sure she gives you a honest answer
2007-04-19 04:58:23 · answer #6 · answered by Sasha C 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I say stop seeing her, and let your absence dictate her actions. I have a friend whose parents stayed together for her sake and as soon as she left for college, they divorced. She wished they would have divorced sooner because it was more miserable living with them together then them apart.
I say that you tell her how much you love her, but the fact that she is still with her husband bothers you too much for you to continue the relationship. Then back off. If she loves you as much as she says she does, she will come around at the thought of losing you. If no, she was lying and using you.
My two cents
2007-04-19 04:54:20 · answer #7 · answered by Songbird 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My best friend is/was in a similar situation. She was dating this man who was separated, but not divorced yet. He has a child and had been fighting to see his daughter.
I encouraged my friend not to get involved with this man until his divorce was final. She decided that it was best to date this man. After a couple of months, his wife broke up with her boyfriend and decided she wanted to try again in her marriage.
Now they are in couple's counseling and trying again. My best friend is now heartbroken. Chances are it won't last, because he was in Iraq and his wife cheated on him with three different men. But they are trying again.
Now my best friend is waiting to see if her ex-boyfriend will divorce his wife or not. But she has already invested her emotions into this man and now is heart broken.
It may be wise to break off the relationship and live your life for yourself. If she does get a divorce, she may be willing to try again. It is not usually a good idea to get involved with a person who is still married. Too much involved.
2007-04-19 05:02:06 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know you don't want to hear it, as love is blind, but I think Tally hit the nail on the head with her answer to your previous question. She is happy with her lifestyle and what her husband provides financially. I think Sara is having fun with you but it is a temporary thing for her. You will likely be the one who gets hurt. Remember, cougars are wildcats....MEOW!
2007-04-19 05:07:39 · answer #9 · answered by Tangled Web 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She will come up with some other excuse in three years. Get out of this, you are allowing yourself to be used by this gal. Go and have a REAL, meaningful, reciprocal relationship with someone who will love you in return.
2007-04-19 04:51:32 · answer #10 · answered by bevrossg 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋