I had a birthday this week and nobody at work acknowledged it but my immediate supervisor. She gave me a box of chocolates saying that she didn't have time to go shopping so she just grabbed something out of her kitchen cupboard. She must have had them a while because they tasted rancid. Now who doesn't go shopping at least 2 or 3 times a week.? II don't believe that she couldn't find a few minutes to stop at a store. And why did she have to make a point of even mentioning that aspect? Why didn't anyone else acknowledge my birthday? When other workers have a birthday, we all get together for a little party in the break room.
Also recently I made some cookies and brought them in to share. I put them in a nice basket and left them in the break room. At the end of the day, they were all still there! I just wanted to know if anyone might have some theories as to what's going on here?
2007-04-19 04:45:58 · 11 answers · asked by debodun 2 in Social Science ➔ Psychology
I don't mean to be mean, but there has to be some behavior that you are exhibiting in front of them that is off-putting. You are essentially telling us that the entire office is avoiding or not acknowledging you. I would ask your friends and family about their perception of your interactions with others and be prepared to hear their honest opinions.
It's hard to be socially isolated. I have been in that situation in the past, and I had to ask what had put me there. If I wanted things to be different, I had to change or move on.
As for office birthdays, I believe they should be banned. Some religious groups do not recognize birthdays and some people don't wish to celebrate their birthdays. Everyone celebrating someone's birthday in an office setting is juvenile at best. People who want their birthdays validated should seek it from family and friends, not their coworkers.
2007-04-19 05:10:24 · answer #1 · answered by yet_another_realist 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
About birthday parties - maybe you just expect, nay demand, too much from others. Nothing is a bigger turn-off than people that think the world turns around for them.
About the cookies - Did you put the cookies in the lunchroom anonymously? All I can say is I wouldn't eat anything if I didn't know who made them. There are people I work with that I wouldn't eat anything they made cause they smell like cat pee or have rally greasy hair. Also if you were giving them away, others may think "What's wrong with them?" Reminds me of a story circulating on the Internet about a guy that had an old refrigerator he wanted to get rid of. He put it out on his front lawn with a sign "FREE". After a week it was still there. so he made another sign "USED REFRIGERTOR $100." Next morning it was gone.
2007-04-19 12:36:22 · answer #2 · answered by kapustafooz 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
New job...fine, but would you like to run away from so minor a problem???
Try find out what's with them about you that they dont like. Maybe it's something petty or something they dont wanna speak of or...just maybe, you've hurt them in some way.
Or, its simply that you've not tried to break that ice wall in the right way. Happens to many people across the globe.
Find out who's the friendliest in this hostile group and invite them over for a coffee, show you are willing to extend your hand of friendship and see the response. Chat around with your new office friend and try get others involved in a healthy, cheerful discussion.
Maybe they are simply waiting for you to make the first and correct move. Keeping cookies out in the break room is not a very polite way to offer them to colleagues. Whenever I bring something to work, I go around to people's desks, offering it cheerfully.
And that box of rancid chocolates is OK. At least your supervisor was trying to cheer you up and might have realized it's your B-day just before leaving home for work. Or she might not have had enough cash to buy something else. Despite rancid chocolates, I would appreciate her gesture.
2007-04-19 12:29:14 · answer #3 · answered by papars 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i hope you chucked those cookies in the trash where everyone could see them. i hate to tell you this but it sounds like you work with a bunch of rude people (my first choice of words is not appropiate here...) including your immediate supervisor. maybe they have no clue or they are doing this on purpose. which ever it is DO NOT let your feelings show.
Besides, I am sure you have more important people in your life that did remember your Bday.
if you want to stay and move ahead at this place i'd say you suck it up deal with it. or do the best job possible and find yourself a job with a competitor. :D
good luck.
2007-04-19 11:56:40 · answer #4 · answered by curly 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
It all depends upon how important this group from work are to you. If they are simply workmates, then I would focus on my work while I was there, and spend my attention on my friends outside of the office.
If, however, this is important to you...you need to be a little introspective. Its not always easy...but sometimes we don't see the way we treat others or realize what kind of impression we leave with others. The fact that no one recognized your birthday may be a clear message to you about the way you act or how you treat others at the office.
2007-04-19 11:51:50 · answer #5 · answered by Super Ruper 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
do you really care? come on your not a child grow up and get over it...yea the world should stop for you! you sound like a very self absorbed person no wonder no-one likes you, and you baking cookies should have been from your heart not to be noticed.
2007-04-19 12:05:44 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Unless everyone else gets a birthday bash, I just think your workmates don't care let alone know each other's birthday.
I've worked with the same people for 3+ years in a small group....we sure as hell don't know each other's birthdays let alone celebrate it.
2007-04-19 11:55:06 · answer #7 · answered by skateaxel 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
If you're getting treated this badly, I'd find gainful employment elsewhere. Its costing you more than you're earning. These people are behaving like animals.
2007-04-19 11:50:53 · answer #8 · answered by geehaw 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
first sensible answer here: this is an aura or karma problem. my guess is that you have experienced this in other settings past and present. you need to do some research on how to change your karma/aura and stop being a masochist. every day is a new day to be someone better.
good luck
2007-04-19 12:19:48 · answer #9 · answered by trendsetter 3 · 0⤊ 2⤋
these are people you work with. not your family or friends. they have no obligation to remember your birthday or do something for it. they also have no obligation to eat your cookies. you should reevaluate how much these relationships mean to you.
2007-04-19 11:56:12 · answer #10 · answered by craminator 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋