Should I tell him the baby isn't his and break his heart?

Question

I’ve been married now for almost 2 years to an incredible man who means the world to me. The first time we meet was at a restaurant and it was love at first sight. We dated for 2 years before he proposed. His family was convinced I was a gold digger after his money but never said a thing as he threatened to cut them out of his life completely if they didn’t show me respect. About 6 months into our marriage I started sleeping with my ex-boyfriend who my husband trusted me to spend time with as I insisted we were just friends. This continued for about a year ending about 3 months ago. I was so selfish and self-centered back then not caring how much it would hurt him if he were to find out as long as I got what I wanted never realizing just how lucky I was to be married to someone like that. My husband adores children and has told me time and time again how he couldn’t wait for us to have a baby of our own without ever putting any pressure on me. I found out 2 months ago I was pregnant and my husband was just ecstatic. I’d never seen him so happy before. Problem is the baby isn’t his. The dates don’t match at all so it’s definitely my ex’s baby and considering that my husband trusts me completely he never once doubted the paternity of the baby. Should I tell him and break him heart? It's definitely not his baby. By my calculations the baby would have been conceived some time in the 2 weeks my husband was away on business. My ex is your typical bad boy trust fun baby with no ambition or drive which is why I ended it in the first place. He called as soon as he found out I was pregnant though and assured me that if the baby is his and my husband leaves me he’d take care of us. Still I’d much rather my husband be the male role model in the kid’s life as he’d make a truly wonderful dad. Should I tell him?

Answer 1

You just proved Mom and Dad were right.

Answer 2

Wow. Okay, I'm going to skip all the obvious judgments and just stick to the question. If you're going to keep this baby - which I don't know if that's the best thing, considering the origins of it - you have to tell him. He'll find out eventually, anyway. They always do. And since you've been....whatever... enough to write all this down on a computer and create an electronic confession, at some point, he's going to stumble over some proof and then your ass and this baby will be out in the street.

I've never thought someone SHOULD abort a baby before, but you seem like a good candidate for it. The fact that you've cheated during your entire marriage, not bothered using protection and are even considering duping this poor guy into raising another guy's child shows that you are not someone who is going to be married for long. Why add a child to the mess you're making of your life and the lives of those around you?

Get an abortion, tell him you miscarried, grow up a little and maybe try it again when you understand what marriage is for.

Good luck.

Answer 3

You better tell him because sooner or later it will be found out. It wouldn't be surprising if that "bad boy" went ahead and said something. Whatever happens, if you have a shred of decency you need to have the guts and go tell him. After that pack your stuff and leave; you are a gold digger and a heartless cheat as well who has proved that his family was right about you all along. If that husband meant the world to you it seems the world wasn't big enough for you. Now you've ruined everything and your child will someday know what a deplorable deceitful person you are. Let that ex take care of you if you really think he will because your soon to be ex husband won't stand to look at you. You are as self centered now as you were back then and are trying to figure how you can still get what you want. Well, the lies and deceit won't cut it anymore. Tell him now and then get out.

Answer 4

Wow, all I can say is YES. Your husband needs to know (and not on jerry springer either). You only mention him. How do you think your child will feel years from now if he found out the dad he has been raised by was not really his dad and you held that from him. You will end up losing your husband and your child from anger. I think you should tell him but make sure a family member or a girlfriend is with you when you do. Lets say down the road, god forbid, your child is ill and he needs something from the father, He will find out sooner or later. You need to tell him asap. Btw, dont you think your ex will put 2 and 2 together as well. If he brings up the paternity of the child then you would have a bigger problem then. Good luck.

Answer 5

How do you think telling your husband that you have been screwing around with another man for most of your marriage and now you are pregnant with your ex's baby is going to make your husband miraculously forgive you and want to be your baby's dad?

More than likely, if he gets wind of this, he will kick you out and you will find out just how wonderful your ex really is. Don't expect your ex to take you in and make everything OK. Most of the time guys who cheat with married women just like to have fun but aren't looking for a permanent relationship.

If I were you, I would tell my ex and my husband that I lost the baby and consider an abortion. If this isn't your husband's baby, you should probably terminate your pregnancy and later have a baby that really is your husband's.

It isn't uncommon to lose a baby so he probably won't be any the wiser.

If you do get away with this and you love your husband you need to break it off with your ex and never see him again.

If you are not willing to do this. Do your husband a favor and just tell him you are a cheater and the baby isn't his and you will get what's coming to you.

good luck

Answer 6

You need to tell your husband that you were sleeping around with your ex. Odiously the marriage was not important to you by betraying your husband. You really don't love your husband if you did you wouldn't done this to him. He needs to know that his wife whom he trusted with her ex has been lying to him. Tell him the truth. Because if you don't and in the long run the baby looks like your ex your hubby is going to question. Not only that but what would you do if your baby needs blood transfusion and the hospital ask your hubby to be a blood donor then how would you explain the truth. You should of kept your distance away from your ex there is a reason why he is your ex. Let me tell you when your hubby leaves you your ex is not going to pick up the pieces he is trash like you are. You deserve each other. Let your hubby be happy with someone else that would respect him,love him not cheat on him like you did.

Answer 7

Are you retarded? Of course you should tell him he is your dam husband and you had no right opening your legs to another man in the first place...
You do not love your husband if you did you would have never cheated on him let alone cheating on him with an ex..THAT IS WHY THEIR CALLED EX'S....
You did something completely stupid and i hope your husband leaves your a.s.s then you can go to your ex like the gold digger you are and have him take care of you and that baby..
Back then?? Hun your 2 months pregnant and it's your ex's kid so it wasn't that long ago your still very selfish and self-centered...You chose to think with your vagina instead of your head, you chose to have that brief moment of pleasure when you could have had a long life of pleasure with the man who loves you(YOUR HUSBAND)!!
Your suppose to be a wife? Then be honest with your husband and tell him what you did, tell him it is not his kid. Yes he is going to be heart broken but that's what you get, you should have thought about all the consequences befor opening your legs...
Either way, if you tell him or not your going to pay for what you did karma is a b*tch so own up and just tell him, you owe him that much...It wouldn't be right to think that the child is his when it is not and you just letting him think that..
Do the right thing

Answer 8

Some people just don't know how good they've got it until everything is gone. In your case you still have him so do what's right and tell him the truth - he deserves to know. He sounds like a wonderful man and I'm sure this will definitely break his heart. You've got your work cut out for you but it's best that he knows now then later on down the line. Be honest and let him know how much you love him and how sorry you are and see where things go from there. I hope things work out for the best especially for baby.

Answer 9

I'm not going to judge you everyone makes a mistake yours is just bigger than most. pray first then find it in your heart to tell him the truth. little do you realize he may already know the truth and is just waiting to hear it from you. besides you have already proven the family right,but if he was willing to take you over his family after he is told the truth your child will be nothing but loved.. you never know it still could be his and this infidelity might bring you two even closer. Also with this being so early on in your pregnancy he has time to bond where when he/she is born how can you say no to a helpless little face that needs all the love and affection that you two have to give. you are in a delicate stage so its best to honest and truthful now. do not let your child suffer, babies sense everything..
lol hope you find your answer cause some of these answers was really unnecessary

Answer 10

you better fess up and quick. You need to remember that his family wasn't thrilled with you in the first place. So if this baby isn't a clone of his daddy- grandma can take your husbands toothbrush or hair from the brush and do the At-Home Kit to swab the babies mouth- in two weeks time you will look like the scum they knew you were.

I have a friend whose don had a baby with a girl the mom hated. She hoped it wasn't her true grandson. They did the mail away test and Surprise! It IS her grandson. Point is- her son wasn't aware she did the test until after.

Be brave. Be adult. Be honest. and if you do so early enough
your husband will either forgive you, or leave you. Then you will have time to figure out plan B before your baby is born.
good luck.

Answer 11

You won't know for sure whether the baby is your husband's or the other man's until you do some DNA testing. What I suggest is to do the DNA testing with the other man first. If the other man is the father, then you'll need to tell your husband. And if the other man is not the father, then that means your husband is the father, in which case you won't have to say anything to your husband, and you won't be breaking his heart.

If it works in your favor, count your blessings, be grateful for the wonderful man you have; and never, ever do something like this again.