Ive been married 4 years and feel like I'm living in a bubble. I see people at work and at church and wife at home and that's it. I have no other interactions with anyone. This life style is beginning to feel a bit confining. That being said is it appropriate and healthy for a married man to go out to the club on a occasion. Once per quarter for example.
2007-04-19 03:44:23 · 17 answers · asked by the man 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Isnt nothing wrong with it! You have to have guy nights just like girls have girl nights!
2007-04-19 03:50:41 · answer #1 · answered by Mellycat123 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why is the club your only choice? How about a health spa? What about sports? Why not take up golf, racket balll, tennis, or some other sport where you can interact with other people? If not that, how about taking a course or two at your local university? Is there anything you're interested in, or something that might enhance your present occupation? Think on those lines. Don't put yourself in a situation you may regret. We all need outside interactions, but find a positive way to of doing this. Best wishes!
2007-04-19 10:56:52 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
First, 4 years if a short period of time for you to be feeling so confined. If this is being forced on you - seek out help as you are being abused! If in the event that it is due to being shy or just not knowing what's out there for you - get out and find things - you can goto the library, join a fitness club, join the local arts society- anything that interests you in an effort to stimulate your mind and make friends who have the same interests as you. Be ready to go when you think your spouse is heading out and get all gussied up and if he ask's what your doing - tell him, you thought you would join him out for a night - this will give you a good indicater if there's something to be more concerned about. If he's game - girl - have a blast!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! If not - take yourself out - your ready already & there's alot to be said for having a chilled glass of wine somewhere - don't be foolish and get drunk & stupid - just have yourself a bit of a breather and when you get home - reasses your wants and desires and make decisions on what to do next. God Bless!
2007-04-19 10:57:51 · answer #3 · answered by martiek7 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, as a woman in a marriage of 18 years, I can tell you that I do NOT mind if my husband were to go out to the club. In fact, at one point in time when we were young poor and desolate, he worked as a bouncer at a topless bar. I did not have a problem with that. In addition, my philosophy has always been that it does not matter where my husband got his appetite from...just so he comes home to eat. LOL. Once per quarter is not an extravagant arrangement.
2007-04-19 10:53:31 · answer #4 · answered by mzadamz 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
With you yes it is great for your marriage doing something together, him by himself NO. I say this because the only reason he would do this is he is gaucking or flirting with other women. I would say fine lets go out clubbing together if he says no I want to go alone tell him fine then I want a divorce.
That should wake him up he is not single any longer and must leave those single ways behind him. He should realize what he is doing is disrespectful and ignorant. He is not aware he is doing something that hurts your feelings or makes you sad because you do not tell him.
God Bless and Best Wishes!
P.S. When you are married it is part of the joy of marriage to do things together!
2007-04-19 11:38:09 · answer #5 · answered by Livinrawguy 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It think is perfectly healthy to have other interests. You shouldn't quit growing and learning just because you are married. Talk with your wife and start going out and doing something new. Invite her along if she likes. Instead of "clubbing" do something that is healthy like mountain biking, kayaking, fly fishing, or painting. If you want to "club", research some neat happy hours in places you have never gone, and take your wife with you. Get outside and get out of your rut. Do something that is outside of your "comfort zone" every week, and you will be a much happier person.
2007-04-19 10:52:27 · answer #6 · answered by flyfish_777 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Absolutely! Even though you're a married couple...you're still your own person. Guys need guy time and girls need chick time. It's okay to do your own thing once in a while...it's how you stay sane and happily married. I'm not saying go out, get trashed and cheat...I'm saying go out, have resonsible fun and when you get home that night...kiss your wife, remind her you had fun but missed her and love her and things are good. My husband does his poker nights while I do my chick flick nights with my friends. Then we do dates together, movies, karaoke, dinner...whatever we have time for and can afford. Hope this helps and good luck on getting some fun you time!
2007-04-19 10:52:47 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I dont think it is a good idea to leave your wife at home and go without her. Why could you both not go out and meet people. My husband and I do on occasion and have a great time.
2007-04-19 11:03:24 · answer #8 · answered by Jenn C 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
look, the rule of marriage is made exactlly for this kind of situations.you managed to obey the rule for 4years,so just try to keep that in mind and `revenge` in some more,well human way(I know this isn`t the right word for what I`m trying to say). now it doesen`t matter how much you love him, or care about him, because the fact is-it`s over.it may seem cruel but I`m honest. so my advice is-find some male friend of yours,doesen`t matter what`s he like.start to go out,you don`t have to have a relationship or something like that.just start to have your own life,life without him.you`ll see,if you try you may have the best time of your life.
2007-04-19 10:49:09 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
well, it all depends on how you feel about your wife going out to a club once in awhile as well. I dont have a problem with my fiance going out. It is all about trust too. I dont do to others what I dont want done to myself. Also depends on what yur intentions are for going to a club. Going with friends, alone, or? Good luck
2007-04-19 10:51:58 · answer #10 · answered by snowwhite00034 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I go to the club with my husband. I wouldn't want him to go because he doesn't want me to go without him. WHen you are at the club, will you drink and flirt? If so, it isn't a good ide.a
2007-04-19 10:48:10 · answer #11 · answered by country_girl 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋