I love my exbf, we ended it up bcos we have a big age difference, about 25 years, I chose my husband, bcos he is a very nice guy and has a lot of good qualities, he is loyal, intelligent, very thoughtful and he loves me a lot...but I dont love him, I dont know if its bcos my exbf still has my attention or is bcos I dont love him in the first place, I just couldnt feel the chemistry...I feel him more like a friend to me not a lover... I miss the feeling when I was with my exbf, there is nothing can compare to our passion, he always made me happy bcos he is very skillful and mature, and I was so satisfied just sitting beside him... I dont have that feeling for my husband... now one of them is in Australia, the other is in USA, and Im in another country... I dont know which country to go... I begin to wonder if I made a wrong decision to marry to my husband...
2007-04-19 03:27:08 · 18 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
You are married now and what kind of man calls an ex after she is married and asks her to leave her hubby for him? Also, he is an EX for a reason.
2007-04-19 03:31:40 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
he was an ex for a reason and its obvious you have been tempted by forbidden fruit. you dont love him because you havent given him a chance anad have been consumed by the ex situation... there will be problems in both relationships and the old ones will still exist with your ex... and what kind of man tries to come back into a situation as more than just friends when your married... if he can do that with you whats to make him not do that with someone else? your attraction to your ex is lust hun not luv.
your connection with your husband could be better if you gave it a chance to be better... things can be passionate with your husband and passion is love:)
my adive is that you completely forget about the ex entirely... all it is is lust and you can go thru life happily with lust as the basis for a relationship. you cant outrun the old problems and this hubby of yours seems great.. why you cnat see that i dont know?
open your heart to him and be positive that outlook may change alot:) try that before you regret doing something...
2007-04-19 03:41:28 · answer #2 · answered by patricia 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all you need to realize that you made a commitment and took vows to your husband. He deserves your respect and your commitment.
There were issues and reasons that you did not marry the ex boyfriend but over time we see things through rose colored glasses and the problems or differences seem to fade and seem so much less important.
Invest your heart mind and soul to your marriage. Give it a chance as well as respect your husband enough that if you are going to choose to be with the ex, leave the husband first.
2007-04-19 03:43:09 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is a reason an ex is an ex. Are you sure you aren't in love with a fantasy relationship with your ex? You sound like you're one of those people who aren't satisified with what they have now. I don't think your dissatisfaction is with your husband. I think your dissatisfaction comes from your feelings about yourself.
If you truly don't love your husband then I think it's only fair that you set him free. Allow him to have the opportunity to be with someone who does love and appreciate him. If he's the great guy that you say he is another woman will be happy to have him in her life.
2007-04-19 03:41:31 · answer #4 · answered by Lorie M 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You've settled into more of a comfortable routine with your husband, so you need to try to create more excitement with him. What you feel for your ex-boyfriend probably would not be as intense if he were the one you had married. Eventually every relationship becomes more comfortable than passionate. You're suffering from "the grass is greener on the other side" syndrome. It is not based on reality. Please go home to your husband!
2007-04-19 03:35:21 · answer #5 · answered by LaMariposa 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How many kids are involved here? Are you contemplating screwing up their lives or just your own and your husband's? Try to keep dreams separate from reality, play from real life. They are different.
By the way, if you want to make your husband a lover and not just a friend, you can do that, just start acting like it and it will happen. You don't have to 'feel like it' in order to make it happen. There's tons of stuff in life we don't feel like but we do. Treat him like you would treat a lover for a couple weeks and see what happens.
2007-04-19 03:33:01 · answer #6 · answered by John B 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
think it this way, when after about few years your exbf maybe he will "maybe" pass away then you will be alone, but if you go with your husband maybe it will not ended that way. Now you are married if you want to do a decision it was too late, you should make the decision "before" you get married.
But it ia depend on you, I have nothing to do with your problem.
good luck~~~!!!~~~~
2007-04-19 03:51:23 · answer #7 · answered by goldeneye94 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should've never gotten married, that wasn't fair to your husband. You've listed nice qualities about him and I think that its only fair that you let him go for a woman who willl honestly love him for those things. I think you married him on the rebound and you owe him a serious apology. I hope the old guy appreciates what you are getting ready to do for him. LOL
2007-04-19 03:32:06 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
you are married. You owe it to your husband to try to make the relationship work.
You also owe it to him to get out of your relationship with him BEFORE going to your exbf.
I don't understand how the importance of an EXBOYFRIEND is even in the equation when it comes to the love that you have for your husband. He is your EX for a reason. The age difference is still there!!!
2007-04-19 03:47:05 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your poor husband! Just go with the ex you two deserve each other. Leave your hubby so he can find a real woman. You go with the ex and a few years down the road you can wipe the drool from his chin and change his diapers.
2007-04-19 03:38:40 · answer #10 · answered by kitkat 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋