How do you make your man/woman file for nullity from his/her current marriage, which is not you?

Question

Im 25, he's 35.
I know this is stupid - i fell in love- but, it has been a year since i moved with my boyfriend, who is now 5yrs married to his wife and has a 3 yr-old son.
Its so obvious that he doesnt love his wife (its shows and he said so).
He's with me on working days, stays with his family on non-working days.
The first and last time we talked about it, all he said was he doesnt want to be the faulty and bad one.
And any annulment case would only lead him to not marrying again.

Any advice? explanation?
I cannot find help from any of my friends coz they all despise him and all they want to for me to move out of the apartment and find a new beginning.

Answer 1

okay, let's keep this simple.

YOU'RE THE OTHER WOMAN. You're not ever going to be the wife. NOT EVER. He doesn't love you or respect you. He just sleeps with you. That's it.

If you're really gullible enough to live with a married man, and expect him to be faithful TO YOU, that's one thing. But to expect him to give up half of his money and assets to get out of a marriage, when he gets to do you now for free? That's just being stupid. And even if this was a fairy tale and he did leave his wife for you. Guess what? He'd cheat on you, too! That's what cheaters do. They cheat. DUH!!!

Grow up. You don't deserve happiness when you're stealing a man from another family. Stop thinking what you're doing is okay, get out of this man's life and move on. Doing anything else is just being his whore. And a poorly paid one at that.

Good luck.

Answer 2

It hurts me beyond belief that you believe him.
Let's take this step by step.

1) You know this is stupid (you said that, not me.)
2) You fell in love a year ago with a guy who has been married 5 yrs and has a 3 yr-old son
3) It's obvious he doesn't love his wife....

ok, here's where it gets goofy...

4) he stays with you on working days
and
5) stays with her on non-working days.

Could that possibly be "weekends?"

6) He is having an affair with you, he is married and has a child but he doesn't want to be the "faulty" (bad) guy.
Humph.
7) He has conveniently ruled out annulment because for whatever reason he would not marry again (that pretty much excludes you, right?)

So after all of the above, you want advice.

8) In fact, on top of all of this, your friends despise him.

OMG.

and your question was,
How do u make your man/woman file for nullity from his/her current marriage, which is not you?

I am not going to humor or patronize you. I truly and sincerely and honestly believe you know the answer. I really do.

I just told you what you told me.

If I just told you what you just told me, but it was me, what would YOU say?

I wish you luck. I think you are stuck. You believe this guy and he is so, so, so using you. But for whatever reason honey, you just don't see it.

Answer 3

You have chosen a very hard path. You are the other woman. All cheating husbands tell their mistress that they don't love their wives but are staying for the children or some other excuse. He is making it pretty clear that he won't be marrying you ever. He says if he did end his marriage he wouldn't remarry ever.

This guy is having his cake and eating it too. He is married and enjoys the benefits of a married man and believe me that includes sex with her. And he gets to have a little something on the side with you too. How perfect for him.

Wise up before you are 40 and still hoping this jerk will marry you. If you want kids and a husband of your own, stop dating married guys and make yourself available to single ones.

Dump him and move on. Your friends are right.

Good luck.

Answer 4

Number one , u r not stupid. But this is how it is..he is lying just to placate you. He is too much of a coward to end his marriage. If he really loved you he would have done it. Instead , he wants to have the best of both worlds, and in the real world it cannot be this way. Your friends are only looking out for you they mean no harm....they care! It hurts them to see that he is using you. There are plenty of other guys out there who will love you and only you. Please consider the fact that he has a child, and in the end it's the children who suffer most, sure the child may be young...but they can sense things. Don't cheat yourself, by living a lie. Honestly, it will take time to get over him..but to get rid of him is the best choice. If he is lying to you now, do u always want to have to wonder and worry? Think about that. Good luck to u, be the bigger person and do the right thing.

Answer 5

If he didn't want to be with his wife nor love her, they wouldn't be together. So don't fall for that lie. Don't u watch lifetime. Never try to pursue a relationship with a married man. Would you like to be a wife with a cheating husband. You can't trust him. It's obvious he's a liar he is cheating. Don't come back on here asking how to get over a heartache when he decides to stop cheating on his wife. And go back home to her. Ooops he already does that.

Answer 6

He's wrong in what he is doing but you are just as guilty in all of this. You know what's going on and you continue to go along with it. How do you think his wife feels? I say this because I've been in this situation and it's a horrible feeling when you find out that your relationship is all a lie. Luckily I found out a month before my wedding.

Answer 7

Your friends despise him for a reason. he's having his cake and eating it too, and you're the cake. You deserve to have someone all to yourself and he doesn't seem to be willing to do that. You can't MAKE somebody divorce somebody. You just can't. The only thing you can do is leave. One of two things will happen, he'll come chasing after you and finally follow thru with a divorce, or he WON'T and you'll know that he never intended to.

Answer 8

Listen to your friends because I'm sure they care about you. A man that has a wife and a girlfriend who is 10 years younger than him must have a very big ego and is playing you for a fool. Get rid of him!!!!!

Answer 9

Open your eyes sweetie. If he is doing this to her, what makes you think he won't do it to you? What comes around goes around. I think your friends are right. Sometimes you have to listen to your brain and not your heart because your heart will get you into trouble. If he didn't love his wife, he wouldn't go back home to her on the non-working days. You don't know why they have that set up the way they do. He is more than likely, leading you on. You need to just walk away, because he isn't going to divorce her anytime soon.

Answer 10

Why do young women sell themselves so short. Is it low self esteem? Did your daddy not show you enough love?

Do you think it is ok to be his lover? His wife probably doesn't know you exist. Call her - find out if she knows about you. I am sure on the weekend he isn't sleeping with his wife-Right? Because it's you he loves.

You are a home-wrecker. You need help. Listen to your friends and family. They want what is best for you.
The mirror must be tough on you.