Destroy everything?

Question

I know people will probably judge me on here if they read my other questions. But why is it some people, like myself seem to go through life destorying everything in its path? I have a marriage falling apart, I had a relationship that fell apart, I have terrible depression, now I feel I'm falling apart! It's as if i'm not happy with anything, that I can't find happiness or that i'm looking for something that can't be found! Does anyone else feel like this, or is it just me?

Answer 1

You cannot outsource happiness, Happiness must be found within oneself rather than to look for fulfillment in others, otherwise, you will fail miserably everytime.

Being emotionally co-dependant will ruin all of your relationships. Learn how to be content by yourself before trying to get into another relationship.

Everyone goes through rough patches, now the secret is to learn from your mistakes and to accept the facts of your own existence and not try to control everything, otherwise, life will bring you to your knees.

Good luck

Answer 2

Vix D I am really sorry to read about your troubles...

But remember....that however hard it might seem...doors close and sooner or later other ones open. What I think you need to do [and I am no therapist] is to go with the flow for a while.....take time out to re-evaluate and also simply to enjoy yourself. Things happen in life for a number of reasons and there is a good chance that you have just been unlucky.....rather than there being something wrong inside of you which seems to be what you are implying.

Whatever you do don't jump into any further relationships......commitment is something that you don't need right now....so hook up with lost friends....get yourself out and about and give yourself some good old fashioned you time where you let your hair down.

And remember....those childhood ideals of wealth, happiness, marriage, kids...etc can often be just that. All people in life have difficult times....so you are very much not alone.

Answer 3

I would suggest you get professional help for your depression, it is a highly destructive illness, and have quite a bit to do with how you are viewing things. Depression tends to distort things in our minds, I've been through it.
I also used to think, if I just had this, or if I could just do that, I'd be happy. I looked for things or situations to make me happy until I realized I had a choice. I could - woo is me, all day long or take a look at what I do have:
- I have a roof over my head
-I have food in my belly
-I have a family that loves me-when I let them
-I saw the first robin of spring today
-a stranger told me liked what I was wearing etc
I found that though my life is not perfect, I have plenty to be happy about. I have my health and I woke up this morning and am wondering what new things life has to offer me today.
If you start thinking about all the things you have to be grateful for, you might just cheer up.

Answer 4

For a second there you sounded like my wife. Look hun I am going through exactly what you are going through except I had no affairs or relationships just marriage which I have managed to save. Thank God. I have set myself goals and this have given me something to live for and have found myself to be happier for chasing a dream. Take time off from work 2 days go away and plan your life and what it is you want to achieve and soon I reckon you will be happy chasing your dreams.

Answer 5

The key to happiness is to work to put yourself at a place in life where you are happy, career, hobbies, interests, etc. If your looking for a relationship or matereial things to make you happy. You are right, you will never find it. You cant reach a fantstic relationship until you at a point where you dont need a relationship to be happy.

Answer 6

It's YOU. You need an attitude adjustment. First learn to find happiness in your self, in the things you do, in the tiny things you come across daily. Then learn to treat people nicely, and then good things will begin to happen for you amid all the entropy.

There are a lot of things to think about, but there's nothing much to worry about.

Answer 7

I'm going through the same thing just about, except that I'm not married (Thank God!). I have been going through severe depression since I was 16 (I'm now 28). I seems like things just gets worse for me every year. I hope you find happiness soon...I'm hoping the same for myself, or this depression is going to kill us both. Much sympathy.

Answer 8

Welcome to my world. In the last year, i invested in a restaurant that went under, I bought a house without having sold my old one, that took me a year and I took a huge loss, i started dating a WONDERFUL guy who cheated on me with his ex and got her knocked up. That doesn't even include my prior destructions...The list goes on and on. you're in a rut, all you can do is talk to somebody to keep yourself from losing it and KNOW that someday it will get better. Do you remember H.S.? Did you ever feel like the world was going to end then when something went wrong? Remember you got out of H.S., and you'll get out of this rut too. I've decided that no matter what hits me, i'm am going to think positive until something GOOD finally happens.
Good luck!

Answer 9

I know what you are going through baby. I am there myself. I would offer to e mail and chat but you will understand if I say i don't think it would be a clever thing to do on my part!! Just know there are people out there doing exactly what you have done and feeling exactly the same way!! Sending hugs out to you hun!!

Answer 10

You more than likely need professional help.especially with the depression side of things,speak to your doc about counselling,or some kind of therapist,someone who is trained to help you find the answers and get your life back on track,as you sound in a bad way.Good Luck,i hope you receive the help you need.