Is it possible to ever 'truly' forgive? and how does one do it?

Question

do we not subconsciously or otherwise always hold back a little when wronged in some way?

Answer 1

thats why they say " I can forgive but I can never forget."

I think that explains it anyway.

Answer 2

Yes- to truly forgive can be based on understanding of the history of the person who did the wrong-doing. Forgiveness is also a personal journey". Each person is born in the position between values and spiritual truths of their parents." Each person has their own behavior patterns and set of actions and reactions. There is an underlying core and reasons for the actions. We often don't know what that is.

Likewise, we, ourselves have behavior patterns that we can learn from in how we interact with the world.

Every person has different history. This is understanding. From this understanding we gain compassion. The healing process happens when we have compassion then we can truly forgive. This is unconditional love.

From a spiritual perspective as well, we each have a plan with lessons to learn. There may have been an agreement to learn such lessons? This too is understanding.

Answer 3

I think forgiveness is a state of mind, it's not a feeling. Often times it's hard to ever forget the wrong that occurred, especially if it's something severe. But forgiving is allowing the event that occurred (or even the person who did it) to stop controlling you and stop effecting you negatively in your life. Holding on to anger can be debilitating and forgiving allows a release of that anger. It doesn't mean that you are saying what that person did was okay, but it just means you aren't going to allow it to run your life anymore. So yes, I think it's possibly to truly forgive.

Answer 4

do we not subconsciously or otherwise always hold back a little when wronged in some way
I AGREE WITH YOU.

But what if you also behave bad as they have done to you.
you are considered a better person if you forgive and forget the evil doer. THEORY IS FINE ,GOOD,EXCELLANT.
When it comes tomy own case ,I think twice to forgive but I have been proved wrong.
In this life of ours we live once and we don't know what will happen next moment.
WE HAVE TO THINK IN PHYLOSOPHICAL TERMS.
AS LORD JESUS SAID," THEY KNOW NOT WHAT THEY TALK OR DO". Therefore ,we have to ignore their faults without getting affected and becoming a prey to their mis deeds.
caution and conscience will show you the way.

Answer 5

I think sometimes we forgive but can't forget what has been done to us. That's alright. I think the most important thing is to be able to truly forgive someone for what they;ve done. It takes the power away from them, gives you back your piece of mind and allows you to move forward. I don't think our minds ever really let us forget those things that have hurt us, we learn from them and move on, but forgiveness allows us to take back our power and the person who hurt us no longer has control over us, our thoughts or our feelings. Forgiveness is as much for the forgiver as it is for the person you are forgiving. Forgiving someone can be a healing process for both people.

Answer 6

Has a Christian I have learnt to forgive.I never thought it possible and I've had some pretty horrific things done to me but it is indeed possible to truly forgive. you don't forget but I think it gives you the upper hand, I draw strength from the knowledge that I'm doing the better thing, being the better person. You don't necessarily need to inform the person you forgiving that you have done so, just the action itself is enough. Doesn't mean it still doesn't hurt occasionally thou.

Answer 7

Hi Jo,
Well I suppose that what I do is to say to myself something along the the lines of "I think that I am in the right, and the other party is obviously somewhat in the wrong"
I remove myself in a freindly manner, always apologise if I have made a mistake, and feel that I have been in the wrong.
Then all is well.
I guess that an incident in my motorbike years, whereupon someone gave me a thump on the nose for kissing his ex-girlfreind gave me thought that hitting back was the wrong thing to do. Not pleasant, but .......
My mates saw this, and threw him into the sea.
Harsh Justice !
I forgive all concerned, even the bloke that hit me, as he was emotianally disturbed, and I understood, and even helped to drag him out of the water, shook hands, and all was well.
Even went back in and bought him a pint.
Keep an even keel when wronged, give it time to settle, and forgiveness seems to come naturaly.

Bob

Answer 8

I think it is impossible to forgive. We can forget but we can never forgive. After all, we are human beings and not just robots. We have feelings. You can't control this inability of not being able to forgive, but yes, you can control your reactions to people. It's better to stay neutral, even if you don't want to see the face of the other person. That would give you a chance to be able to go back to the person if and when needed.

Answer 9

Forgiveness is possible. But it is necessary for the person who wronged you to be contrite and apologize and ask for forgiveness. Once you realize that they are truly sorry for having wronged you, it is easier to forgive. And in time, truly, you will forget. Holding grudges or not letting go of the wrong done on your part will only harm you in the long run.

Answer 10

I believe deep down that not every body Forgives, Depending on the circumstance e.g My Dad Bashed My Brothers and Sisters and my self and my Mother and putt my Mother in hospital several times. He eventually blew his brains out. I miss him dearly but I would never forgive him for what he done. I wish I could but I cant. I hope people for give others for petty little scrobles, not paying back money and so forth.
As for family if thay where killed or injured in some way murder or drink driving I could not for give those people.

Answer 11

Some people manage to pass through a healing process and come out of it stronger. These are the kind of people who truly forgive but that doesn't necessarily mean that next time they are not more careful.