Am I wrong?

Question

My husband wants me to put his kids on my insurance, I don't want to do that. I feel it's his and his X wifes responsibility to care for the kids. It's going to cost me 190.00 a month to cover his 3 kids. He is going to get a court order for that because we can't add them unless he has that. That will mean he will be paying 500.00 a month for child support and then I will be paying for the health care!!! Do you think I am wrong to feel this way? Those kids are not my responsibility! The only reason he wants this to happen is because his kids need braces and doesn't want to pay the 5000.00 per kid. I can understand not wanting to pay that amount, but it's still not my problem! Their mom has them on the Oregon health plan, so it's not like they don't have some kind of coverage.

Answer 1

NO YOU ARE NOT WRONG!! as the wife of a man who has children with his ex, i have watched him go thru years of paying and paying, BUT that is what ppl do when they divorce with kids. THEY are his kids and you have nothing to do thier support of any kind. Sure you knew he had kids when you married him, doesnt matter they arent your kids and are not your responsiblity. I do think that when they are with you, you should treat them as tho they were your own, but when it comes to the money part... That belongs to thier birth parents.

Answer 2

Well, I assume he either doesn’t have insurance to add them to, or your insurance is cheaper.

But at any rate, don’t you really end up paying anyway no matter who “has’ the insurance policy? In a roundabout way you do, because every dollar that he spends for his kids (and he SHOULD support them, and I’m assuming you knew he had that obligation before you married him), is one less dollar to contribute to the household expenses, put into your saving account, etc.

By the way, when my kids got braces, the dental insurance only paid about 30% of the bill, so if that’s the ONLY reason he’s getting it, it might not be beneficial, because he may end up paying more for the premiums than what they pay for the bill.

Answer 3

Your husband's bills are your bills. When he spends money it takes away from the money that you will have. Any way you can decrease your joint bills is great. The one problem I have is the court order and I'd look into how swiftly that could be changed should you get a divorce or separate. I would also make sure that your husband can perhaps sign a document that he's paying the premium on that insurance.
Consider it this way: You are not taking care of his children... you are assisting him in easing the burden of a responsibility that he has no choice but to take care of. Giving him peace of mind that the burden is less (and of course covering your bases and protecting YOURSELF) is one less stressor on his heart and your joint wallets.
SUMMARY: you guys are a TEAM.. don't stand on principle.. legally cover your own hide and then do what you can to help him out.

Answer 4

I do not know how it works where you live but here if you are married and you are the step parent you are held responsible for the children as well. However it is not fair for you to have to pay for the medical insurance. Sounds like to me it needs to go back to court. This man clearly will have no real future if the ex wants all the financial responsibility shifted on the two of you. Either way do nothing about the medical tell your husband it needs to go back to court and if he gets fustrated with you it may come down to the point is it really worth staying with a man who wants you to take over his and his ex responsibility? I wish you luck stay strong and listen to your inner voice.

Answer 5

We'll when you married him you knew he had 3 kids, you are there step-mother, and your bills are your husbands and vis versa. You have to give a little to get a little. I would way out the monthly premium verses the cost of braces for his kids. Would it be cheaper to put that in a savings account and earn interest till the kids are ready for braces or to just pay the premium. Best of Luck

Answer 6

In the long run you and your hubby will pay at least 1/2 of any unpaid medical expenses such as braces. I would rather pay $190.00 rather then $2500.00. You married him and the kids came as the bonus. If I hadn't put my stepdaughter on my insurance we would have paid 1/2 of $15,000 in one year alone because of 2 surgeries.

Answer 7

It is his responsibility. However, I can understand why he's doing it so as to get his kid's teeth fixed which would be impossible as things stand now.
How about you put his kids on your health plan and he pays the $190/month back to you. If he fails to keep his end of the bargain you can always delete them from your health plan in the future.

Answer 8

What you should do is add them and make him pay and thats all I can say. If he doesnt, then take them off and be ready to fill out the divorce papers. Because you are going to start having a rocky marriage. If you don't want a divorce then continue to pay for the insurance.

Answer 9

Well the way i see it is that you married the guy . He can pay 15000 bucks out of his pocket that means no vacation money or new car or what ever for the 2 of you . Your not the person for that guy you need to move on to a person without kids so you can keep your precious money . Its just not going to work for the 2 of you .Doom is in the air.

Answer 10

You are right, he is out of line. Personally, I think that if your husband is paying 500 dollars a month in child support, their mother should get the insurance. But the law doesn't like the way us "Second wife's" think does it? Good luck.