Met a guy around 10 months ago, we were like best friends as well as lovers, got on so well fun wise & intellectually. He 28, me 23. He isn't too sure about having a relationship at this stage in his life. he is very immature & kind of messed me about in the process with broken promises due to his inability to be with me. I gave him 1 last chance to decide what he wanted & he decided that it would be best to be friends 4 now as he wasn’t in the frame of mind for a relationship with any1 right now & that I deserve the best. He said that if he were to be with any1 it would be me but he is not looking for any commitments right now. So I have tried moving on & he still keeps calling me like 2 or 3 times a week to see how I am. So I decided to tell him that it would be best if we went our separate ways as he doesnt want anything right now, so therefore I need to move on! and he doesnt see why we cant stay friends! I have now started giving things a go with someone else
2007-04-17 22:01:26 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
and he is still calling me to "see how I am and how my new job is going etc" and also telling me that he does miss me and my company. I have a serious feeling that he is still trying to keep in touch so that he will still have a chance with me when he is ready!! But he had his chance and I am seeing someone else which is what I need to focus on 100% do I need to cut contact? and make him see that I am no fool! he is not gonna win me back when he feels ready as I am also seeing someone else now! he didnt want anything so I need to move on right? as he is not giving me what I want and this other guy I like is!?
2007-04-17 22:02:24 · update #1
I believe you answered the question yourself. Let that guy go and move on!
2007-04-17 22:05:47 · answer #1 · answered by jacklyn_denise 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's too bad that you can't consider him as a friend still. He does seem to have your best interests at heart. He told you that you deserved better, and that he isn't ready for a commitment. At least he was honest with you! You can still have a friendship with him and give him the courtesy of having a conversation with him now and then. I can't stand jealousy and a lack of trust that dictates you can't have male or female friends just because you are in a relationship. That doesn't sound very mature to me. He seems to be a good guy. You claim he's immature. I see more in his integrity than you do and I don't even know the guy. I would maintain his friendship on the basis of his honesty and because of the well-being he has for your future, with or without him. I wouldn't hide him from your perspective new guy either. If there isn't a relationship other than a friendship, there shouldn't be anything to be jealous of. You can have the best of both relationships if you play your cards right.
2007-04-17 22:35:36 · answer #2 · answered by gone 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds to me like he's confused an unsure about what he wants. He obviously likes you and you get on well but he doesn't seem to be able to commit for whatever reason. So by calling you, he's still got you in his life but he doesn't have to commit to you. I think he's being quite selfish and like you say, how are you supposed to move on and have new relationships when he's calling you saying he misses you etc. I think you need to stop answering his calls and just phase him out of your life. He seems like a selfish man only concerned about his wants and needs, not yours so don't waste any more time and worry over him. He'll soon get the message if you don't answer his calls all the time. If he asks why you're being like that, just tell him you're busy with your new boyfriend! it sounds like you're new relationship is going well so focus on that and don't let your selfish ex ruin it for you. Good luck.
2007-04-17 22:10:16 · answer #3 · answered by ? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you did right by cutting him off because he does not know what he want and he's playing games, you should change your phone number and keep his contact but don't call for a really long time, and just concentrate on you what makes you happy? like the relationship your in now, and then eventually call him and see if he still on that same bull, and if he is you made the right decision from start.
2007-04-17 22:19:02 · answer #4 · answered by MM 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Let me start by saying how focused and mature you are.
you gave the 1st guy a healthy chance but he does'nt understand what a real relationship is with a WOMAN instead of a mommy who keeps her apron strings available for him. (does this guy still live with his mother)
You've moved on to some one more appropriate and accomodating for you and that is working for you.
Tell him you've found a man who's already gone through the growing process.
2007-04-17 22:11:38 · answer #5 · answered by crr_rndy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, you need to tell him not to call you anymore like you said he had his chance. Guys like him like to think that they can do whatever they want to you treat you bad and expect you to be there when they need you they never change he just wants to feel that he has you secure so just cut contact with him and if he insist simply stop answering his phone calls either he will get the point and will stop calling or he's ego will get hurt and will stop calling!!!
2007-04-17 22:10:12 · answer #6 · answered by Lol 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hmmm, you shouldn't force a guy to enter in a relationship because you want to. respect whatever decision he made bout it, just enjoy the moment with other things, don't expect anything so that you won't have any disappointments. if you'll still entertain your feelings for him, you won't be able to look forward coz you don't allow yourself from his shadow.
2007-04-17 22:07:19 · answer #7 · answered by katseph 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ok i donno if u shud cut contacts......but keep ur distance...........i mean he shud not get the idea tat u will wait for him as long as he wants u too !! u hav a life u noe and he has no right to boss over tat 1!!
if he thinks to much of himself dont take his calls if u dont feel like it and tell him ur busy !!
but i think tat if u r happy wigth the guy u r with now and u see no future with ur ex then wats the point !!
tc
2007-04-17 22:09:59 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Good girl, don't let him keep you on a string. You are taking care of your needs. He made his decision, and he will have to live with it. I am truly glad to see you happy with someone else. You deserve it!!
2007-04-17 22:06:08 · answer #9 · answered by PEGGY S 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
as much of a pain in the butt that it is - change your cell number and cut all ties with him it will only cause trouble in your current relationship to keep in contact with him.
2007-04-17 22:09:23 · answer #10 · answered by absolut_nixter 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋