Live in a loveless marriage or leave and lose my step son.
2007-04-17 18:57:49 · 24 answers · asked by anglecakesalfred 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
He's 4 year old
2007-04-25 16:16:54 · update #1
Ask for shared custody .
2007-04-17 19:00:47 · answer #1 · answered by missmayzie 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You shouldn't stay in a loveless marriage just to stay near your step son. I'm sure a judge would look favorably on join custody since you and him appear to be very close. If your husband has any kind of sense, he'd know that it would be unhealthy to forbid you to see his son after you've been in his life as a mother figure. There are options, just don't stay in an unhappy relationship! Take care of yourself!
2007-04-18 02:03:01 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
To live in a loveless marriage is never a healthy option, i come from a broken home and my parents tried to make things work ,'for the sake of us kids'. I even did it myself as an adult and as you know it's complete misery.
As your married you need to talk to your husband about how you feel, and maybe give him the opportunity to redeem himself even though , in your heart it's not going to make much of a difference.
He's much more likely not to use his son to punish you for falling out of love with him, and why shouldn't you have a relationship with the child ? You've been a mother to him and that shouldn't stop because of this, it'll be far less traumatic for the child in the long run. Good luck :)
2007-04-18 02:13:34 · answer #3 · answered by CLAIRE P 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You know that if you leave your husband, you won't be seeing your step son anymore. I can tell that you love that little boy very much. If you can and you want to, try to rekindle the love you had for your husband. Find your way back to him. Remember what it was that first attracted you to him, and get back to the way things used to be.
This way you'll be in a marriage with someone you love, and you'll also be able to have your step son too.
2007-04-26 00:22:00 · answer #4 · answered by Tweety 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, I think U have to sit down and talk with your husband about your true feelings for him. If you think there´s no more love in your marriage...staying united will be hell for the both of U.
Seek a way to let him know you want to be near your step son because you love him as if he were yours...
If you both want the best for him, you will find a way to make this separation less painful as it will be for the kid...they are the ones who always suffer more, my advice is never use them to hurt each other!
2007-04-25 20:34:02 · answer #5 · answered by staytrue 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I just heard about a book the other day about marriage and relationships called " IF THE HORSE IS DEAD GET OFF".
I'm thinking of buying it for myself.....Your stepson may not be as happy as you think he is, seeing your loveless marriage. He would probably be happier too if the 2 of you were happier apart. You most likely can still be part of his life and everyone wins. I understand your pain, but life is too short to be so unhappy. Take care and good luck....
2007-04-25 18:58:11 · answer #6 · answered by Ann Marie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How do you know you would lose him? It sounds like you love him very much. I'm sure you've expressed that love for him and he must love you back. It isn't necessarily the case. If you want to be in the child's life, his father should recognize you two have a relationship and respect the wishes of his son. If his son doesn't want to see you... then that's a different story. What a lucky boy to have such a wonderful person who loves him so much in his life. I hope it works out for you.
2007-04-24 20:34:24 · answer #7 · answered by luv2help 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
YOU FAILED TO MENTION STEP SONS AGE if i were you and the child was over 13 I would write him a letter and expalin to him the reason why you and dad cant stay together. He should understand then IT has nothing to do with him.And If he is of age you could file for joint custody they will appoint him a guardian of lietm that will fight for his rights under the law if he wants you, they will do that, if it's in his best intrest to see youl, But if he is under 13 your going to have to show why mom and dad are unfit which can cause some major problems especially with the child he / she will feel your the bad guy if you attack the parent you have to be very careful! You also failed to mention how long you have been married.. I think that if he is above the age of consideration you can get joint with parents but you did not give enough detail for anyone to answer properally I dont think your going to get the answer you want..you may want to repost and add detail which will help your case...you sound like the stepparent I would want for my children if something were to happen to me..makes me want to post questains for myself//you are a loving person hon,i just wish you add more info about how long you have been married and how old child is and how often the other parent visited will help everyone who wants to answer, to answer fairly without judgement! for ..unforetunatly we can not reply again seeing that we did already i wsh after seeing your added details i could leave a contact number i may be able to help in this situation i am a volunteer and help with many organatioins and would love if this is an appropriate case to help. however you may need to change settings on your profile to show email, to save trouble i am from greenville south carolina so if you are from south carolina I could help with a lawyer unfortunatley I can only help in south carolina with your situation. i do love that you care, for this child ,please give more detail someone out there may help you, may God bless and keep you and yours safe
2007-04-25 22:26:26 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why is your marriage loveless? That's what you need to ask yourself. Life is to short to be unhappy. See if you could fix things with your husband if there is no way to do that then I would go.
2007-04-25 15:56:59 · answer #9 · answered by Kat G 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
love is not a condition of being, it's not an emotion, it's not a biological process, LOVE IS A CHOICE. If your marriage is loveless it's because neither of you is making the choice to love, neither of you is carrying out your commitment enshrined in the vows you made.
You should renew your internal commitment to love your husband come hell or high water. By doing that you can inspire him to renew his commitment towards you.
2007-04-18 11:13:14 · answer #10 · answered by Chester M 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get to work on that loveless marriage. See a counselor, yourself or with your husband. If your goal is to leave your husband, without any further ado, then you are going to do it - and take your lumps. If your goal is to have a happy marriage, that is a noble goal and a worthwhile one. And one that benefits all three of you. I'd choose that goal if I were you. Because it all comes down to what you choose, doesn't it?
2007-04-22 13:52:55 · answer #11 · answered by kathyw 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋