MEN - Why doesn't my husband want to have sex?

Question

Okay, we're young (25), just got married in September, and haven't had sex since November. Strike that. We had sex in , oh, late Jan., me having forced it upon him (practically), after which he looked rather annoyed. I can't figure it out. I beg him almost every night. I'm not unattractive, in fact, I'm beautiful in my own way, I think and - I'm pretty damn good in bed! We have a decent relationship otherwise.
The thing is, he's said he didn't want sex with his last serious girlfriend either. So I don't think it's me. It's him. He's addicted to World of Warcraft, which makes me think that's affecting it.
What do you think? Any advice?

Extra Detail 1: I have talked to him. He says he doesn't know.

Extra Detail 2: I walk around the house naked somewhat often. Seems to have no effect. Once in awhile sleep naked. No effect.

Answer 1

First off, I understand how you feel. My wife never wants sex.

Second, ignore the people who suggest popping in pornos, dressing like a dominatrix, bending over nude, talking dirty, etc. etc. On most guys that would be overkill. On a guy like me, in a similar situation for you, it would serve only to induce premature ejaculation.

Your husband is not interested in sex. So throwing sex around just makes him withdraw more.

Honestly, I doubt very much it has anything to do with you or your behaviour. Most guys would rather screw _anything_ then be celibate. That may sound harsh, but I'm trying to get through the point - its not you. If he had a normal male sex drive, he'd be all over you.

He - typical for low drive partners - either doesn't see a problem, or thinks the only problem is that you are a sex craved pervert for occasionally wanting sex. You need to tell him that he needs to realize that this is a problem or the marriage is over.

If you're not willing to tell him that, nothing will change. He should get his hormones checked, should get more exercise, etc. He doesn't need to be a sex fiend, he just needs to be interested enough that he can be reasonably enthusiastic when you initiate.

If he refuses to accept that this issue needs to be addressed - with medical help most likely - then you should leave him. You are young, and your whole live will be like this if he won't work on solving it with you. Trust me, you can _easily_ find other men who will love you and want you all the time.

good luck.

Answer 2

His interest in the game will subside over time. Play World of Warcraft with him. If you give him unconditional respect, be involved in his interests; you'll be in a better position to expect his love. Few things turn a guy off more than judgment, condemnation, and disrespect. Meet him where he's at and do not judge or belittle him for his interests. Many couples play this game together and use it as a means to chat and flirt with each other in a suggestive manner.

Response to additional information:
Have you done anything in the relationship to cause resentment? He may be avoiding you for some reason.
If there's no conflict and he just won't meet your physical needs; then he's not up to performing his duties as a husband and you should get an annulment.

Answer 3

Did he ever want to have sex with you at any point in the relationship? I will say I think it is pretty unusual for a newly married man to not want to have sex. It is really kind of inconsiderate given that you beg him every night. Wow, that is a lot of resisting he has to do, which does take effort. Why he would want to do that is anyone's guess really. Could you work out some sort of compromise, like once every two weeks or something, so niether of you feel so frustrated? . Some thoughts that cross my mind aas to why he does not want sex includse that he is possibly gay, or addicted to porn. Do you have any reason to suspect either of those things? Or maybe he is on some kind of medication such as an antidepressant that lowers his sex drive? What does he say when you ask him why he does not want sex? Have you told him how much it means to you?

Answer 4

It might just be a physical problem, although his hiding inside his computer games is an indication of a psychological problem. Either way, he needs professional help. Whether you can convince him of this is a test of your negotiating skills. A man's sexuality is a very touchy part of his ego.
I do not suggest this lightly, but you might have to tell him that you'll have to go elsewhere if he doesn't do something about it. If he's very bad, you may just have to do that.

Answer 5

Some people just don't like sex. It's crazy, but true.

Video games can leave a person lost in unreality, and they may care nothing about anything in reality.

Answer 6

First off I think he nuts as my sex drive is still morning noon and night at the age of 44 and while I play Everquest I would always chose lovemaking over eq
so he must be one of 4 category's
1)asexual (just not interested in sex) counseling may help
2)cheating on you
3) closet gay which many be so Strong he not admitted to him self
4) closet trans-gender
no mater what his issue is I would suggest counseling

Answer 7

This is a real problem.

My wife and i have the same caliber of problem, but I am here because she has no interest.

I tell you,. if she said "Let's go into the bedroom and make noise," I would be there.

I think you have to ratchet it up a notch. I don't know how you might feel, but you may have to parade about naked ALL THE TIME.

If, after all that, His WOW is World Of Warcraft, it's counseling time

Answer 8

your man has serious reality problems. anytime you chose a computer game over having sex with your wife, there's a big problem there.

i used to be very addicted to Ragnarok. but i don't neglect my wife. or my son. eventually, i had to stop playing it to give more time to my family. i'd rather 'wrestle' with my wife.

Answer 9

LOL world of war craft! Am I being punked! A guy that plays one of the nerdiest games out there has a hot wife! This must be another prank from god to me! You should divorce him and marry me! I rarely play games at all, plus I would devote all the time that you want and need. You sound like a dream girl! will you marry me?

Answer 10

Wow. Unless he's cheating on you I have no idea. A guy that doesn't want to get laid every night? No clue. Unless of course, you've really put on the pounds. Nothing turns off most guys more than "having to roll her in flour to find the wet spot". However, if you're normal height/weight proportionate, he may have limp dick syndrome...?