I have been with my boyfreind for 7 years and we bicker sometimes but for the most part things were going good

Question

He then change drastically in like a week. He decided he wanted to be a rock star and just started not coming home. About a week later he admitted to cheating on me one day that past week. He won't tell me who with, and he seems very regretfull. He is still avoiding me though, and says they are just freinds and she did not know about me. I asked him to decide if he wanted to make this work and end contact with her? He didn't say he would end contact with her but that they were not physical now. He said he loves me and it was more about his uncertainty in what he wants that drove him to it. We were best friends before this. I don't know what to do. I can't really make it on my own right now either because I am in college and we have a lot of pets. 7 years is a lot to throw away. He says he needs time, because he is not sure if he wants freedom or love. I just feel like a fool. Some advise would help.

Answer 1

He is not interested in you any more. Even he has a vestige of feelings, it does not stir his heart. With this dose of love that he has shown he has for you, you cannot get along in your life. Seven years is lot of time.If both of you could not develop the foundation of love during this span of time, then it is futile to look forward to the thread that would bind you together for the whole life. It may sound pessimistic right now but it is worth looking ahead and finding another soul mate.

Answer 2

Me and my boyfriend were together for 3 years and I know thats not 7 but its still a long time. We took a 'break' and we told each other we might get back together in another year. We both needed to see other people and make sure this was what we wanted. I was feeling unsure about our relationship and I just wasn't positive it was what I wanted. Well now, 6 months later, after we both had dated other people, he came crawling back and things couldn't be better. There is now no doubt in my mind that he is the one I want to spend my life with. The reason I'm telling you this story is because maybe that's what you're boyfriend needs. Maybe he needs some time to figure out what he wants. Its not good to force a relationship. Talk to him about this and maybe you can figure out how to sublease his half of the apartment and give away some pets. I hope it all works out! And it is ok to forgive him for cheating this once but its not ok to just ignore the problems in a relationship or else the cheating could happen again. Good luck!

Answer 3

I'm sorry but before he started sowing his wild oats he should have talked to you about how he was feeling. I sense that your boyfriend is passive and not been very open with you. That could signal that he's still hiding something. And I hate to say it, who knows when this behavior will strike up again. The first thing I suggest is he start being honest with you right now, and tell you the truth and nothing but the truth. If he cannot then I suggest you leave him. One thing that I have found from my experience, if you start accepting less, than they (your significant other) will starting treating you like less. Don't accept it! Don't sell yourself short! Even though you love him move on. A relationship is a two way street, I'm pretty sure you went through some changes too, you didn't go out and cheat on him. Why, because you loved and respected him. Remember, never stay in a relationship for convenience, unless he is paying all your bills, including your way through college, and you are wanting for nothing. If not, trust me it is not worth it.

Answer 4

I had a boyfriend for six and half years, and throwing that relationship away is one of the best things I ever did. Enlist your friends to help care for the animals.

I will tell you what a therapist told me; tell him you want six months apart. It should be total separation so you can make up your mind. Both you and he will be free to date other people during this time. You will try not to be in contact at all. No calls, no emails, not even snail mails. This means even deleting his # on your cell and you getting a new #. Also, you NOT going places you know he goes.

I did this and within two weeks I knew I wanted out of the relationship forever. You may not decide as quickly, or you may decide you want to stay with him, but either way you'll know for sure.

Answer 5

If he is cheating, then move on. Once a cheater always a cheater. You will always be wondering what he is doing or who and your trust for him will be very hard to rebuild. Split the pets between you or give some away and get a roommate to help with the bills. If he is unsure about the relationship, then don't get married or take it any further because things will continue to crumble. Seven years is a long time, but living a lifetime with someone who is unfaithful to you is not fair to you. You deserve better than that.

Answer 6

It appears to be a seven year itch. By the way 7 years of being boy friend and girl friend seem too long without commitment. So if you don't love him then I'm sure you should move on. Pets should not be a reason to stay in a relationship like this. I'm sure until you can stand on your own look for friends and family to help you out with your pets.

Answer 7

I can't tell you how this will work out, but I what I CAN tell you is- yes you CAN make it on your own even though you are in college with a lot of pets!!
I think a little time is okay to give someone, but a lot of time isn't. That's called, stringing someone along, and it's unacceptable. It sounds to me like he is just trying to figure out how to end the relationship ,but feels a certain amount of guilt in doing so, so he is trying to make YOU do it ( consciously or not) That's not uncommon, and when it happens, it's best to end it with dignity. 7 years is nothing compared to the NEXT 7,14....25... know what I mean? It seems monumental now but you aren't throwing anything away if it doesn't work out- you are gaining a healthier future.

Answer 8

Oh honey you had better start to make plans, first get read of some of your pets, save a little money, men will always do this, first comes the cheating, then staying out all night, and lying next, surely you don't think he will ever tell you the truth about his friendship with her do you? if he loves you like you say he does, then he would tell you who she is, men will always get in good with one woman before he leaves the other, i mean come on, don't be left holding the bag as the old saying goes, start out by making other friends because you will soon need them.... Good Luck to you, you're going to need it, and I'm not trying to be funny about this, are Hurt your feeling, but I know what I'm talking about!!!!

Answer 9

one of the signs of a bad relationship is justification
and to justify a bad position because of pets and 7 years is weak
your relationship is over
he does not respect you and never will
you have shown a tolerance for him and forgive him rather easily
he knows this and could cheat on you again and you would foolishly forgive him due to 8 years and 9 pets..
you see where i am going with this???
his uncertainty is no excuse for straying
your uncertain or uncertain economic future is no excuse for staying
and in fact shows you are highly dependent on others to define you as you cannot make sound decisions much less stand on your 2 feet. if your were stronger emotionally you would definitely cut your losses and learn from this before even thinking of looking again for some one else

Answer 10

Wow! I have to give it up to u, u have handled this situation very well. Most of the time when boys r cheating they never tell anyone, but ur boyfriend admitted he was cheating on u this goes to show he doesn't want to cheat anymore and is asking for ur forgiveness. If this boy cheats again the free u will be, i would NEVER let some boy walk on me like that. So give the poor guy another chance then if he repeats his mistakes then let the boy go. I'm here for u, GOOD LUCK!!!!