My hubby and i have been married 3 yrs currently we are recently seperated.I am giving it one last shot at trying to understand him.This question pertains to sex i have not had an orgasim in over a year.I am a female that loves visual stimulation but my hubby gets embarassed or uncomfortable if i mention it.He tries to romance me for sex but i told him that 4 times a year of romance is fine.Him beeing romantic for me is actually a turn off the slow music put me to sleep and i am just not into romance in general.Hubby is also conservative about trying anything new position wise?
2007-04-17 15:34:59 · 11 answers · asked by Jessica S 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
sex therapy?
2007-04-17 15:37:35 · answer #1 · answered by bronzebabekentucky 7 · 1⤊ 2⤋
It sounds like he isnt very open to a freaky sex life which isnt good...being together for a while and doing the same thing in the bedroom does get boring and if something isnt done this will be alot bigger of a problem....my husband and i have been together for 9 years now im 26 and when i got to the point where you are now i decided i wanted to go try new things and he wasnt having it at all...1st off straight out tell him that your not miss romantic... he should love this there are soooo many woman out there that want there husbands to do this and be romantic but they dont, now he is actually off the hook so tell him to knock it off...2nd tell him that your really bothered by the sex life and regardless of what people say sex is a very large part of the relationship!!!!! tell him that you want to try new things maybe go to a adult store and get some toys and if he says no then you go by yourself and get you a little something...he should also know when you tell him how you feel about the sex life that you havent had a orgasim in over a year and this isnt fair at all..if that doesnt catch his attention then i dont know what will....also 90 percent of woman in this world cant acheive orgasim by intercourse alone they need manual stimulation(let him know this)so that maybe he will understand a little more on how you feel ..this is also why you need a little vibe egg thingy so that you can put this where it needs to be before sex so that you can acheive orgasms quicker and better for that....i have one and i love it....i had to start out little with the whole situation so i went and bought a basic toy and used it on him the first night and of course he didnt turn me down or get upset cause he finally felt what the thing did and was too turned on to tell me no and now believe it or not he goes with me to the adult store and we have a large collection of naughty stuff...hope this helps and good luck sweetie...!!!
2007-04-17 15:52:34 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Not trying to be funny, but if you haven't had an orgasm in over a year is it really all of your husband's fault? You should be able to have an orgasm with or without him. Take control of your own sexual satisfaction. Try being the aggressor. Instead of telling him what you like, show him. Maybe it will turn him on as well. Maybe he could try stimulating you to climax prior to the actual intercourse. For me I find that results in multiple orgasms. Anyway with men and their egos this could be a tough one. Was this a problem since the beginning of your relationship? Another option may be therapy.
2007-04-17 16:07:02 · answer #3 · answered by BROWNIE 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Try a marriage/sex therapist. When you first got together you understood how to make each other happy, try to get back to those fundamentals. You seem to be worried about you, and not so much your relationship. You will need to compromise somewhere in the middle, to meet each others needs. Your orgasm will follow once you get back in tune with one another. Make sure you aren't only asking for what you want, but you are also giving him what he wants.
2007-04-17 15:44:51 · answer #4 · answered by Carey L 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow! Are you too aggressive for him? Maybe go with the romance & over time help him to open up. Sounds like he's threatened.
2007-04-17 15:56:32 · answer #5 · answered by WILLIAM W 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hmmm, never heard a man say those things before. I would do to him what you want done to you. So if you like things fast, rip off your clothes, his etc.... After sex, tell him you want him to do that tomorrow. It is easier to show him first what you want. For men, "monkey see, monkey do"
Good luck
2007-04-18 06:09:23 · answer #6 · answered by barefootkato 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
no sex only on weekends and during the week flirt with one another like little notes whispers in ears looks at one another !
2007-04-17 16:02:17 · answer #7 · answered by colodge_25 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What a waste. I know lots of women who'd be happy with him!
Sit him down, put on a porno, and tell him 'this is what I need for you to do to my body'.
2007-04-18 02:12:42 · answer #8 · answered by kheserthorpe 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
conservative about sexual positions? I guess him giving you oral sex is probably out of the question
2007-04-17 15:40:25 · answer #9 · answered by Rocky 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Your problem isn't sex your problem is you don't want to be with this man.
2007-04-17 15:39:20 · answer #10 · answered by loving U 3 · 0⤊ 2⤋