No offense to the ladies, but does today's trend of the "independent woman" contribute to the divorce rates?

Question

Again, sorry ladies if I happen to offend you, but my burning question desires to be answered:

Does the trend of the "independent woman" contribute as one of amongst the reasons to the increasing divorce rates amongst married couples in today's likewise increasingly demanding world?

Answer 1

I really dont think so. I have always been an independent woman, but not the type of person who doesnt need a man in my life to love and be loved. I really think most women hang onto age old beliefs about sex and their duty to their spouse. If you read the questions on here, its all about cheating spouses which I believe has nothing to do with independent women. As a matter of fact, if more women had true independence the divorce rate would probably be cut in half. An independent woman knows what she wants....she is not backwards in coming forwards.....she believes in equality in and out of the bedroom. She knows how to enjoy sex and she doesnt bow down to the stereotypical ideas of what a wife should be. A true independent woman is not a controlling woman, they want their man to be just as independent as themselves.....Im not talking about always doing things apart from each other because when you love someone you want to do things with them.....and being independent doesnt stop that from happening. Maybe the real reason for divorce is the fact that people choose unwisely....they dont choose their equals. Two equally intelligent people who believe in the right to choose, who dont believe anyone should be "owned" should make the perfect couple. Two independent people who love each other with all their heart, who see each other as their love, their lover, their friend and their confidante will grow old together. Its the dependency, I believe that causes divorce....the man/woman feels suffocated....they feel they have lost their personality. An Independent woman will accept you for who you are and respect the differences....how on earth could that be the cause of divorce. Isnt that what we all really want? We just want to be loved without the ownership. Its the ownership that will destroy a relationship. Why mould a person into who you want them to be....why would you want to change someone that you love....you are supposed to love them warts and all. An independent woman respects their man simply because they want the same kind of respect back. An independent woman will never want to change her man because she doesnt want to be changed either. Maybe if we chose more wisely when we were younger....chose our equals then the divorce rate could be practically non-existent.

Answer 2

I'll start by telling you that I am a woman, and I am not offended. I would have to say, that a woman's Independence is a good thing for the most part, a woman needs to know she can look after herself if need be. However, I also think that "Independence" can be taken too far and yes could be a cause of the increasing divorce rate. As a divorced woman, I can admit that my Independence played a part in my divorce, but in my defence, I was told over & over that I needed him & couldn't make it on my own. I got independant to prove to myself that I could, and when I did, i liked it and decided to keep it.I don't think this is a yes or no question, it really depends on the guy as well as the woman. I still beleive that a woman can be independant and happily married, as long as she was independant before she got married, and keeps her independance . if the independent thing is new, then i don't think it works.

Answer 3

I really don't think so. I was perfectly happy with the married life until my husband cheated more than once and got physically violent with me.

I was already independant because he could not manage money, so I did all the bills and finances, cooking and cleaning, child rearing, etc.

I toyed with the idea of leaving for a good 6 yrs before I did(stupid me). I was very independant and always made more $ than him and honestly it had nothing to do with being up with the times of being independant...believe me, to this day if he had not hurt me like he did, I would still be married and independant. As is stands I am single and independant and don't care if I ever get married again, because it does change a person.

Answer 4

No offense taken. I think there is to reasons. 1) it's men who have a problem with our Independence, not us. They feel less of a man, which then creates problems for him and his ego. Then again, it's easier these days for a woman to say "I'm not taking your crap anymore, I can support myself." I'm sure when the divorce rate was a lot lower (in the 50's) there was a plan.. the women stayed home, the men worked. So, women felt trapped, what else would they do, the man was the sole provider. That isn't the case any longer though, women can support themselvs.

Answer 5

Years ago husband and wife needed each other because they had widely differing skills. The husband had no idea how to watch the kids and the wife had few skills to be the breadwinner.

Now women are educated and out in the workforce. This is good, but many women don't value a husband as much...thus the "single parent by choice" trend. Also women used to divorce only in extreme cases of abuse and first it had to be proven in court. Nowadays a woman will divorce her man if he even looks at her the wrong way...and the family court judge will break up the family, take away his kids and force HIM to pay her for many years.

Now I like an independent woman to an extent, but I still want a woman that needs me for more than taking out the trash.

Answer 6

No there is no offense RockerDude..its a good question....I would think so because women now days are figuring out that they can do alot more than just sit at home. Maybe others have been in bad relationships and feel independence is best for them. There are alot of bad relationships. I saw it on a talk show once about that now women being "independent" is kind of a new trend.

Answer 7

I wouldn't call it independence, in today's society unless your husband makes a substantial amount of money, it is necessary for the wife to work. The problems start when, we work as many hours and come home just as tired and are still expected to clean the house, cook dinner, take care of the children, pay the bills, and have sex with our husbands. Unfortunately, since we cannot quit our jobs, certain things in the home get neglected and since we have to eat, take care of the kids, keep the electricity on, sex becomes the first to go, adding pressure and stress on the relationship. We become tired and overwhelmed, and our husbands then become very frustrated. Unless, you and your partner are willing to step back, reassess and renegotiate your relationship it becomes a downward spiral - Divorce.

We as a society have taken on an air privilege and entitlement and that includes our relationships. We forget that a relationship is not 50-50, but 100-100.

Answer 8

Yes I think so. Independent woman become comfortable with the way things are. So when they do get married it is hard to adjust sometimes. I know I was and still am an idependent woman who got married, because I fell in love, (never felt like i needed a man). It was hard for the first month or so, because my house was just the way I wanted it, (I remember freaking out because he put a basketball in the living room!) I guess I realized that even though I don't need a man, I wanted one.

Answer 9

It might have something to do with some people splitting up but people split up for all sorts of reasons. I have a comment about independent women.
There's nothing wrong with it, I like to be independent but I can't stand the women who make a big deal out of it. There are some women out there who could write a speech on their Independence and how no man can take it away. The thing is I bet no man or woman cares about it never mind want to take it away.

Answer 10

I think that it only contributes to the divorce rate in those states where people are not sophisticated to handle independent women (read arab countries). But in the west I don't think that the concept of independent women contributes to the divorce rates. I think that the loss of momentum and excitement as well as sometimes trust is what contributes to the divorce rates. The most important feeling in a relationship is that there will always be higher levels to fly. When a couple start to believe that their best years are behind them, then a feeling of deprivation and despair set it.