my wife?!?!?

Question

i want to join the army national guard to better my self for my family. unfotunatly my wife hates the idea. shes comming around to the idea, but she still doesnt like it. is there anyway i can help convince her that this is the right choice for our family? plz help!

i finished highschool but i want a college education, thats my main reason for wanting this. i want to be able to get a decent job and provide for my family. i want us to be able to get a house and a good car and move away in about 5 years instead of working 2 or 3 jobs just to get by and not actually retire till im like 60!

Answer 1

i think the things you added in the additional details says it all just tell her that and good luck

Answer 2

That is an excellent way to go if you are willing to make the extra effort. As a national guardsman you will be eligible to work in a civilian job on a local base and make much better pay than you would at most jobs. If you take advantage of the education offered you can obtain a degree and if you want become an officer in the military. You can sign up for full time in the guard and have full benefits as well as officer pay.

Answer 3

Well there are a lot of factors to think about,

1.How old you are?
2.How much education do you have?
3.How well can you provide for your family now?
4.If you join, get sent over to Iraq, Do you mind coming back all screwed up, or maybe not at all?
5.Talk to others in the Army both from past and present and try to get a good understanding of how much it has really made there life better. don't just take the governments word for it.

Answer 4

I was an army wife till he got out in 2004 ( thank God)! It is very hard on your wife and family when you are away. I know you have less of a chance in the national guard, but it can still happen. My husband wanted to join the guard not to long ago and thank God again I won that battle. It will better you in your family in the long run and you are smart by thinking that way, but that's all if you make it out alive or if your wife is mentally strong enough to make it through when you are away. you both just really need to think about it and talk. When you are away at war, we have no idea if you are okay or even still alive. We watch the news and wonder if its our husband that was the one killed, its just really rough and your wife will have to stay very strong!

Answer 5

SHE HATES THE IDEA BECAUSE SHE'S AFRAID OF THE UNKNOWN.
There is so much positive to joining!!! Not to mention the enlistment bonuses are up to 20,000 in some states. Talk to a recruiter and bring her along. A spouse plays an important role when it comes to support. Not only that, the college funding, training, experience, ect.

Or look at it this way. Your Military ID gets you on any base, allows you to shop on military installations. There are 100's of places nation wide that give military discounts. Hotels, restaurants....hell, anyone who shows a military ID at six flags gets in for free. There's so much to it. Get the facts from a recruiter and involve her so she doesnt feel left out. Or threatened that your moving on to bigger and better things while she remains doing the same thing.

Answer 6

Stop. Leave the military to the single guys without a wife. This is the wrong choice for a married person.

Work a job and go to school part time at night. Time will pass and you will have your education. Things then will get better.

Good Luck.

Answer 7

I think your idea to join the National Guard is very noble, but didn't you have thoughts of this BEFORE your marriage? Your spouse married you the way you were. Now you are proposing an idea that could get you shipped halfway across the world into a hostile environment. I'd be more worried for your marriage if she DIDN'T have any objections. Wouldn't you feel the same way if she decided to join the Guard?

Answer 8

Darling, I hate to tell you this but your wife is right. I know a few people like you that simply wanted to further their education when in the Army Reserve and guess where they are: PULLED OUT OF SCHOOL AND FIGHTING IN THE WAR. Some no soon and finished basic training, started their classes. Because of the low enlistment, because of the war guess who they are pulling overseas? You guessed it the ones in the army reserves with families and trying to pursue an education. There are resource programs in your area that will help pay for you to go back to school. Some will pay tuition, mileage, and meals. Check with your local unemployment office and maybe they can refer you to some of these options.

Answer 9

How will joining the national guard better who you are?
Does your wife feel that you need to better yourself?

If your wife hates the idea then there honestly will be no convincing her that it is a good idea. She may end up argeeing to it in the end but she will just be humoring you because you want it so badly. In my opinion, you really need to find a compromise with her on this topic because if you don't and you end up joining and she is harboring the feeling that she hates the idea in the end she will hold it against you and resent you for it. This one decision could ruin your relationship.

Answer 10

Be honest, but don't overload her with information. Try to find just a few sentences that will sum up your feelings.

Make sure she knows you won't be in danger, that you're not going because you "don't love her", and that you won't do anything bad while you're gone (military guys of any kind have kind of a reputation, you know?). Really listen to her concerns and reply from your heart.

I'm sure she's worried that you'll be deployed overseas, but giving her info about what you'll be doing and what the commitment will be like (one weekend a month, whatever it is) will help calm her fears. I can understand that you feel joining the nat'l guard might help you with discipline, strength, or other personal qualities...I'm sure she will too, eventually.

Answer 11

My sister-in-law was the same way with her husband. But now that he has retired and she see the check he gets every month from the national guard she is a very very happy woman. She has any thing she wants and never has to worry about money. I wish my husband had been smart enough not to listen to me and join.