Virginia Tech, the KILLERS parents???

Question

I asked a question that was kind of unorganized and it has many great responses but not in the way I wanted it; my bad.

I am curious what the public thinks:

1. How would you treat the killers parents if you met them?
2. On what aspects can you blame them, if at all?
3. How will this affect the parents' future?
4. Would you agree that the parents of the killer need as much support (or even MORE support) in the aftermath?

I am very curious what the public response would be to these very important questions. I really feel for his parents.

PS... remember, this question is regarding ONLY the killers parents. I am not interested in anything else at this time. Thank you!

sorry, I messed up question 4. When I refer to support, I mean, wouldn't you agree that the parents of the killer need just as much support (and even more) than a victims parents? They're the outcasts but at the same time, lost someone who made others lose someone.

Answer 1

1. How would you treat the killers parents if you met them?

I would not treat them any different. Cho Seung-Hui's shyness and reluctance to speak is what I blame. It's obvious that this horrendous act of violence (R.I.P. victims of the attack) comes from years of teasing and killing of his soul (this is what I think after watching those horrible videos on the news). His parents probably tried all that they could to raise him properly... obviously every parent has a hard time controlling their children. Especially when the child is in college and they don't have constant communication... Besides, if you can see how disturbed he is... well, would YOU have an easy time raising such a child?

2. On what aspects can you blame them, if at all?

I wouldn't blame them. Except they should have recognized their son's symptoms and immediately gotten him help. From what I heard, the family had a hard time in both South Korea & the U.S. From what they've been through, I can sympathize (I've been through both good and bad). Cho Seung-Hui was just bitter of other people's wealth and fortunes & felt his treatment during his childhood was unjustified.

3. How will this affect the parents' future?

I really fear for the parents. Many people in our world, unfortunately, are very stubborn and self-righteous. They only see the parents' son being a cold-hearted murderer (also disregarding the fact that he was bullied as a child). I hope the parents will find some understanding people at this crucial time because they will definitely need all the help they can get. This massacre has hurt so many people and because Cho Seung-Hui committed suicide, many people will pass their anger onto his parent's, blaming them.

4. Would you agree that the parents of the killer need as much support (or even MORE support) in the aftermath?

Yes. A LOT OF SUPPORT. [Read above] This is not going to be an easy journey for them. It's obvious that the parents have gone through enough. Every where they turn they will have to face pictures of their son holding guns, people cursing their family name, people wishing death onto their family, etc... feel some sympathy for them. This massacre is not their doing. They did not have any part in this at all. This was just a (I really do not have any word to describe how horrendous this is) ... stupid(?) decision on Cho Seung Hui's part.

(Sorry, I know this is only about his parents... but.... I must add:)

I also hope that because of this incident, racial prejudice does not occur. I myself am Korean and I have been on message boards and such with profane language ("Go back home you dirty Koreans!" "You're a disgrace to America." and I have walked through the streets and have seen people give me dirty looks and hurrying to get away from me).

Do not be prejudiced against Koreans because of this incident, please... from what I know, one of Cho Seung-Hui's victims was also Korean.

Answer 2

If I met his parents, I would treat them like I would anyone I met for t he first time. You can not blame them because you can raise 5 children all the same way, and one could follow another path. The effects on these parents are enormous, media parked out side of their home and business, all asking the same stupid questions. I feel sorry for them, their son needed help and he didn't get it, he was depressed and on meds- he went off the meds and thats when your mind plays very harsh games with you. This is why MD's tell people they have to weened from these meds because the games they play on your mind. The parents and sister have to live the rest of their lives with this label being placed upon them. The after math has caused GREAT stress on the family, and I willing to bet they wish they were dead also. You will always love your child no matter what their actions-but how do you defend it?

Answer 3

Of course the killers parents need support, in many ways probably more. Remember they are not only trying to come to grips with loosing their son but also the fact that their son committed suicide and killed many other people also.

The devastation of those three things compounds one another and I can't imagine the shock, horror and grief they are experiencing.

Many children become very troubled and unbalanced it does not necessarily have anything to do with his parents or the way he was raised, life can throw anyone some mighty rough curve balls and we shouldn't judge anyone too harshly without knowing what they were going through. Of course killing yourself and others is not the answer.

We should ask our selves why and how someone could become so desperate and hopeless to commit such an act and whether others should have reached out to help this boy deal with his obviously terrible pain.

My heart goes out to all the families and friends of these young people.

Answer 4

I think we could all have learned something from the Amish in Pennsylvania, the Nickel Mines Amish School killings / shooting.

Lots of prayers for all the victims and their families and this included the wife and children of the man who did the shooting. Lots of money was collected for medical bills and everything else that required financial support.

The Amish community asked for prayers for the wife & family of the killer, they shared the money collected with the killers family, he was killed so how was his family suposed to survive without his income?

Sorry, I was on my pedistool. My husband gets mad at me for talking to much too. Must be why I love this web site!

1. I would feel sympathy for them, I think, I would try to support them.
2. They shouldn't be blamed
3. I think they will have to change their names and move because most people will not be able to forgive them for their sons sins.
4. Yes, the parents of the killer have lost a son, just like the parents of the other kids who were killed.

Answer 5

I am not sure how I would treat his parents. Based on everything that we've heard in the media - his writings, "disturbing" behavior, his anti-social tendencies, his history of poor mental health diagnoses in 2005 - everyone who came in contact with him seemed to have just one piece of the puzzle that would eventually add up to a psychotic killer. Shouldn't his parents have been the ones who had all of the pieces and put them together? I am confident that these behaviors didn't start just when he went off to college - they had to have started long before that, and his parents' had to have seen some of them and perhaps even tried to get him help. And based on what his roommates said - he never went home for breaks - it seems that he didn't have any relationship with his parents in 2007. So did they see these behaviors in him when he was younger and decide that they couldn't deal with them so they would just send him off on his own and hope it resolves itself? At 23, he certainly was at an age to take accountability for his own life and not blame everything on his parents, but I'm quite confident that his psychotic behavior didn't begin at this age. It seems to me that his parents should've taken accountability for his mental health when he was younger so he could've gotten the help he desperately needed.

Answer 6

I feel for the killers parents especially if they really were good parents and raised him just as anyone else normal has been raised. The reason I feel for them is because im sure they didnt think he was going to do anything as horrific as he did. Support should go out to them as well. Just think about it and it really does make sense

Answer 7

It's human nature to blame the parents. If your kid comes home from school with a black eye you would inevitably lay the blame on some level with the parents of the kid who did it.
I doubt the parents knew of this guys plot, but I will venture to say that they had to see some signs that he was unbalanced.
Reports are coming in now that point to the shooter being abused by his father, so I guess we'll have to wait to see what the next days & weeks investigation uncovers.
Until the truth & a plausable explaination of this tragedy are brought to light, I think we should reserve judgement on those close to the perpitrator of this horrific tragedy.

Answer 8

i wouldn't treat the killers parents wrong but i think others might because he set a bad example 4 his parents but i do think it would effect the parents future because he killed 33 people including himself over his girlfriend his hurt a lot of families over his girlfriend and also killed her so i just feel sad for his parent all2gether they would need some support

Answer 9

If I met the killers parents I would be upset with them I think. A child does not just go and decide to kill that many people if they were not influenced growing up. I think they need support because they lost someone but I don't think they deserve more support then the victims parents. That is just my opinion and I may be acting out on my anger right now.

Answer 10

Yes. I think the gunman's parents will have a hard time grieving as the full scope of this tragedy comes to light. Seeing the stories of the promising lives cut short by their son's rampage aught to cause them as much pain as the gunman must be feeling right now--wherever he is.