I am 22 yrs old and hubby is 24 yrs old.We have been married a 1.5 yrs our relationship was always on again off again mixed in with love-hate.I just graduated from college and he is in the air force currently in England.To get to the point at one of his friends bachelor party's he got drunk and had sex with one of the strippers.Our relationship got really nasty after this he went to England saying he would do as he pleased.Out of revenge i went and had fling with an ex.bf got pregnant .I am 6.5 months pregnant not told anyone and hidding it .My hubby is being transfered and comes home in 2 months he says he wants to work things out but i dont think if he new my secret he would want to.My best friend advised me that since i got pregnant a month after my hubby left to try and pass it off as his since we had sex before he left for england?I am afraid if i lie it will make things worse?
2007-04-17 11:31:50 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I still have feelings for my hubby and want things to work
2007-04-17 11:36:07 · update #1
You need to not listen to your best friend. I think that is the worse thing you could do, just think how are you going to explain to him or your kid if it ever comes out, it's not fair to anyone involved especially your-self, how could you live with the guilt, and furthermore your husband doesn't sound like he's worth keeping in the first place. I hate to be so blunt but it's time for you to grow-up and get your life on tract before you have a house full of kids by different daddies, not good honey
2007-04-17 11:45:54 · answer #1 · answered by babygirl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She is in love with love and a new guy is giving her the attention that she thinks she needs. She is putting her own selfish wants before her marriage. I would tell her that she is ruining a good life because of a few cheap thrills. Tell the husband to go to counseling and get the help he needs, at least when it goes down the tubes he will know that he has done what ever he could to save it. She will regret this after it if over, but there is nothing any one can do about it except not take sides, this is between them not everyone else.
2016-03-18 02:56:57 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You were wrong to sleep with your ex. He was wrong for cheating on you. That is why I would never recommend a person get married until they are at least 30 years old. Tell your husband the truth. Do not lie. Tell your ex the truth. Do not lie. You will make matters much worse if you do. Maybe your husband will be open to the idea and will still want to be married and raise the baby. Tell him face to face if you can. Give him time to take the information in. A woman has the blessing and the privilege of carrying a child. This is a huge responsibility and you were in the wrong.
2007-04-17 11:40:08 · answer #3 · answered by spinster wife 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow, this is a tough one. Do you know for sure that this is your ex boyfriends baby? Both guys involved need to know the truth so, it may be hard to tell them but, I think you should. After all, don't they deserve to know if they are a father or not? I don't think you should stay in your marriage. Once trust is broken in a relationship, it's hard to get it back especially when someone feels that it's okay for them to do whatever they want and who cares about the consequences. I think if you lie it will get worse after all you will have a child who will not even know who their father is. Good luck! I hope you figure out what is the right thing to do.
2007-04-17 11:57:54 · answer #4 · answered by cee cee 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The only thing I can tell you is that you can tell a lie for now but eventually the truth has a way of working its way out. And remember one lie always leads to others. By the way from the sounds of the problems you were having, do you know what his feelings are for you. Is he still happy? What about the ex bf does he know , and is it fair that you keep it from him. By the way you said the two of you had sex before he left , is there a possibility that this baby could be his? Think carefully about what you are planning on doing. I would hate to see it come back and bite you in the butt.
2007-04-17 11:52:17 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I really feel for you. You have to tell your husband the truth. If you are really sure about wanting to work out the marriage, you can't do it by lying to him off the bat. Think about it - this is not going to be one lie, this is going to be a lie for the rest of your life, for your husband's life, and for the child's life. The exboyfriend has a right to know he has a kid on the way, the child has a right to know his/her real father. When your husband gets home, you need to explain to him that you felt betrayed and angry when he cheated on you, so you slept with an ex out of revenge and got pregnant. Yes, you did something wrong...but it sounds like a whole lot of wrong went on here. Ask him to see a marriage counselor with you. and if he won't go, go yourself. You need someone to help you through this awful time, so that when your baby comes you can welcome him with joy, preferably with your husband by your side, and your ex as well. Best of luck to you!
2007-04-17 11:41:36 · answer #6 · answered by Melissa 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
OK, you can't lie to him. If he made you pregnant, you would be shouting it out to the world. Instead, you cover it up? That's going to raise eyebrows.
You could get an abortion and pretend the whole thing never happened. That way, only you know about the pregnancy. Remember, he may have screwed a stripper, but you're carrying another man's baby. Not to be harsh, but that's how he will look at it.
Why don't you get a divorce - it sounds like neither one respects the other? Why not concede that the marriage is a bad idea and go your separate ways?
2007-04-17 11:36:57 · answer #7 · answered by Big Super 6 · 0⤊ 2⤋
You both sound like you are too young to be married. It's beyond me why you whould marry someone who you had an off and on again relation with in the first place.
After 1.5 years you both decided to sleep with other people, this marriage is doomed.
Do the unborn child a favour and bring it up in a stable enviroment not a hostile one, seperation looks the answer you were both too inmature to get married in the first place.
2007-04-17 11:43:55 · answer #8 · answered by Lou 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to tell him. He is not going to believe you now that you havent mentioned it to him all of these months. If he still wants to be with you and you think that you can be faithful and he can be faithful from now on then stay together. But if not then you need to do the right thing and start out by being honest with everyone. You wont be able to hide it for much longer and the real father of the baby should also know the truth.
2007-04-17 11:39:41 · answer #9 · answered by mom of twins 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You think? Go with what you feel is the right thing to do. It's better to hear it from you, then to find out by other means are someone else. Your best friend is giving you bad advice.
2007-04-17 11:44:23 · answer #10 · answered by WhyNotMe 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋