What can I do to show my Wife how much I am still attracted to her?!!?

Question

I have let her down after 5 years of giving her complexes about how I look at her (and how I think she looks, vs. standards of a "hot" woman). She doesn't trust that I am still physically attracted. Yes, we have sex, and it's good for us. The problem is, she feels that she is undesired by me. I am so very attracted to her, and she is the only one for me.

Any women, even men, able to help me to express to her how sexy I still see her?!!! We have two little boys, and spontaneity is hard to get away with. But I still find her irresistible. She just finds it hard to trust. Please help me out!

I just spent the last couple hours writing her a song. I recorded my guitar solo on my cell phone, and I don't even play. Then I called her at work, played it back, and sang her the song I wrote. She seemed to be quite impressed. I hope that I can make the difference back. I love her!

Thanks for the advice guys! Any more help?

Answer 1

I don't understand why you would even run her down in the first place if you're still attracted to her. Stuff like this is hard on a woman's ego. You have to do the reverse of what you did before. Start complimenting her. If she looks nice that day, say so. Show her how much she's appreciated. Tell her what you just told us here. It may take some time but you have to be consistent with it. But above all else, be sincere.

Answer 2

Well, if any one is to blame its urself. Why would u do such thing to ur wife and the mother of ur 2 boys. If u say u love her why would u hurt her in that way. Now u just made her self esteem go so low she dont even think shes good enough for u or anybody else for that matter. She prolly thinks shes ugly. But like u said she is sexy and attractive. I suggest u just tell her how beautiful she is. Let her know that ur sorry and dat no other women can compare to her. Make her feel good about herself again. Boost her self esteem up jus a lil bit...

Answer 3

Well u let her down for 5 years. It is goingto take some time for her to build her trust back up with you. Is what u might want to do is maybe take her on a romantic trip, or just a night where you all don't have the kids and take her to a nice dinner and have a night alone at the house. Tell her how much you love her everyday. Give her a call just to tell her how much you love her. You are going to need to buil back up her trust with you. It will take time but it will come one day.

Answer 4

Romance her ... send her flowers or a card for no reason ... do the laundry for her or clean the house up before she gets home ... surprise her with a road trip ... plan more dates ... leave love notes ... let her sleep in one morning & take care of the kids - make breakfast in bed for her ... send her to the spa one day for some R&R ... pretty much do more " little stuff " to show her ... just telling her how pretty she is - won't cut it ... you have to be creative ... ask your sons to help show mommy how beautiful she is ... teach them to compliment mommy when she does nice things or looks good ... always a plus ... good luck ... and have fun with it ... !

Great idea with the love song ... I would melt if my man sang a song to me & learned the guitar ... those are exactly the type of things you need to do more often ... you'll start to see her attitude change in no time ... good job ... lol ... !

Answer 5

Five years of letting her down, wow, well It's going to take the rest of your marriage to build it back up. So everyday, tell her she is beautiful, and once a week do something to make her feel special. Make her dinner, or buy her a rose, anything that she likes.

Answer 6

WOMEN SOME TIMES FILL ENSURCARE AND NEED TO BE TOLD HOW GREAT THEY LOOK AND HOW SPECIAL THEY ARE TO THEIR MAN AS FOR MY MAN HE KNOW THE SIGN OF THAT AFTER ALL THESE YRS AND HE JUMPS IN WITH NOTICING WHEN I GET ALL RESSED UP FORHIM OR IF I HAVE A NEW HAIR STYLE OR NEW OUTFITS HE TELL S ME HOW SEXY I AM ONE DAY I CALLLED HIM ON I HAVE GAINED WEIGHT OVER THE YRS AND DONT FILL SEXY SOMETIME BUT HE TOLD ME BABE TO ME YOUR EVERTHING I NEED AND WANT AND I AM PROUD TO HAVE YOU ON MY ARM TO CALL MY OWN WELL THAT DID IT HE MAY HAVE BEEN FULL OF CRAP BUT I DIDNT CARE HE WAS TRY AND THAT IS WHAT MATTTER HE LOVED ME ENOUGH TO CARE TO PUT FORTH THE EFFORT DOING THINGS SHE LIKES HELPS TOO HELP HER TO TRUST IM NOT A TRUSRTING PERSON BUT I TRUST MY HUSBAND WITH MY LIFE AND MY HAPPINESS

Answer 7

This could be a problem only she could fix because if she is feeling insecure about how you feel about her appearance then I think that she is feeling insecure about herself. She needs to fix this it is the only way and you have to try and incourage her. I have no problem against heavy women because my mom is a bit heavy and she still looks damn good.
I think that you shoudl talk to her about this and try to help her in some way so that she wouln't feel as insecure anymore.

Answer 8

WOW.. you certainly have dug yourself into a big pile of poo with five years of comparing her to 'hot' women.. i am surprised that she is still around.

The best thing i think you can do is say sorry for comparing her all those years and tell her as often as possible that she is a hot woman..

Answer 9

Give her the respect she deserves, and always tell her how beautiful she looks, & flowers don't hurt every now and then & you should be good to go. Good luck!!

Answer 10

buy your wife something sexy ..some wine and bed cover with roses.... enjoy each other go somewhere nice