why me.....cheating husband?

Question

i recently posted something else today."why wont he stop cheating"i guess i have more questions.it seems that everytime i get strong enough to leave him.He tells me something to make me feel bad foe him.I truly want him out of my life.he causes more pain that love.how do i get over this and be strong?
is it true that you need another man in your life to really be able to move on and forget the past?he makes me feel so bad about myself.i use to model for miller high life and i now feel like the ugliest person in the world.he has took everything from me by cheating.includung my selfesteem

Answer 1

You should detach yourself from him. It will be very difficult since you shared a lot in the past. But if he treats you bad, it's high time you save yourself. There must be something really wrong with him. And he's making you his emotional punching bag. Don't allow him to.

The healing process is not done overnight. Take it 1 step at a time. Surround yourself with friends... real friends. Take up yoga or meditate or something. Find your "happy place". This usually will be effective if you physically distance yourself from the source of your pain. Call it a time out or a cool off stage. Regain your old you --- beautiful, confident, happy. Once you get that back, then you'll be clear-headed enough to finally decide whether to leave him permanently or mend the relationship.

And no, you don't need to have a "replacement" to get over the past. Doing so would be 1) unfair to the other person; 2) defeats the purpose of bringing back your self-esteem; and 3) very temporary because there's a high probability that it's going to be a cycle since it's a band-aid solution.

Hope you'll discover your old self, and probably the new you. Good luck!

Answer 2

The worst thing is to replace your cheater with another man who you will look at with rose colored glasses. You need a long period of introspection, with support groups centering your life.

I recall having a great difficulty leaving a former abusive gf of mine who I was involved with for 1 1/2 years after a 19 year marriage. Finally, my friend told me to take his apartment while he vacationed. He gave me the key, and I thanked him every time I saw him after that. You see, I needed to be alone, hide under covers, feel unlovable in my solitude for a few days, do my income taxes, watch tv, feel sorry for myself, make phone calls, etc...and attend daily codependents anonymous and al anon 12 step meetings. You see, I felt I'd almost die if if left her, because the sex was so powerful, and I feared I'd never have that powerful sex again with anyone, although she treated me like crap.

After one week, I knew I did not know where I was going in terms of how life would look, but I sure as HELL knew what I did not want anymoie, and that was her.

Some women came charging towards me within a week of discovering I was not in a relationship anymore, and each wanted to have me.I turned each down, saying I wasn't ready, having left one recently. It was a good thing.

You actually have to read books like Rebuilding ( When Your Relationship Ends), and Creative Divorce. Also, read Your Erroneous Zones.

Perhaps this poem will get to the point:

Comes the Dawn

by Veronica Shorffstall, 1971

After a while you learn the subtle difference
Between holding a hand and chaining a soul,

And you learn that love doesn't mean leaning
And company doesn't mean security,

And you begin to understand that kisses aren't contracts
And presents aren't promises.

And you begin to accept your defeats
With your head held high and your eyes open,

With the grace of a woman, not the grief of a child.
You learn to build your roads

On today because tomorrow's ground
Is too uncertain for plans, and futures have

A way of falling down in midflight.
After a while you learn that even sunshine

Burns if you get too much.
So you plant your own garden and decorate

Your own soul, instead of waiting
For someone to bring you flowers.

And you learn that you can really endure,
That you really are strong

And you really do have worth
And you learn and learn ... and you learn

With every goodbye you learn.

Answer 3

When you truly want to leave nothing he says will Chang your mind. Make a decision and stay away from him. Nothing, no person no job, no amount of money, nothing outside of yourself brings happiness only you are able to obtain happiness for yourself. We chose happiness it is not found or given, decide to be happy and you will be.
What you think and feel about yourself is what others see. Change you thinking to positive and watch what happens. Its all up to you it is not easy but the outcome will be a place far better than the place you are now.

Answer 4

No you don't need another man to move on with your life. You just need you. By leaving your bad husband will be the first big step. Then do things that will make you feel good about yourself. If necessary seek professional counselling (trust me they do help).. focus on you and don't worry about dating anyone in the near future. Do things that make you happy. Spend time with friends, join a dance class or learn to cook a new dish..

but you need to leave your husband now.. he will only make you feel worse.

Good luck

Answer 5

There is a bright side, you know exactly what he is doing to you. Some people might blame themselves. Now use everything you just wrote, and keep that in mind. Don't let him walk all over you. Ofcourse leaving will hurt, but you keep your chin up and walk out and don't look back, what would be worse, is if you stayed and let him to this to you over and over. You have a chance to start over and regain your self esteem and be beautiful once again. Do so.

Answer 6

Are you separted now? I hope so. He is trying to make you feel bad so he can take the blame off of him. He is playing head games with you. Don't fall for it. He wants his cake and eat it too. He is not worth it. Get him out of your life and get you back, self esteem and all. Go out dancing with your girlfriends and flirt.

Man, if I was married to a Miller High Life Model, why would I cheat. You are probably one of the most sexiest women. I am not sure when you modeled for them, but as I remember, all those models are pretty hot.

Answer 7

He is controlling you and you believe that means he loves you. You can do this!! Grab that self esteem again, get a new place, meet new people. NO! you do not need another man in your life until you can find yourself again and you don't have to forget the past, just learn from it. Now get going.

Answer 8

Well, he is using guilt to keep you in the relationship. Plain and simple - it's time for you to leave & to get on with your life. You need to make a plan to leave and stick with it, and this plan needs to include money, where you will stay, and how you plan on getting a divorce.

When the day comes, leave. You owe nothing to this man, you don't even need to hear his lies anymore. Just go, and get to living life again.

Answer 9

If you can't be happy with yourself, you surly can't be happy with someone... If he's a cheater he'll probably never change... The most important thing to help you through this is friends.... Get support from them, and leave...

Answer 10

He keeps cheating because he knows he can get away with it, because you KEEP coming back.

You have to leave and not look back. And no, no single person needs a romance in their life to be happy.