I'm mostly referring to situations in which you are an employee, waiting on customers(as a sales rep, a server, a fast food employee, etc). There were many past jobs I had, where my employees(most of them "young punks") told me that I was really "annoying" because I was constantly perky and cheerful all the time. Then during the few times that I was sincerely angry/incensed about something and let it show a little, those same "young punks" laughed with me, sided with me, and thought it was "cool" that I was finally not being so overly happy. Are there other instances where being too happy can be a BAD thing? Also, what should one do about this? As an employee that works in the public service sector, aren't we SUPPOSED to be cheerful?
Apparently now it's not just angsty 16-yr-old employees who are annoyed with my constant cheesy happiness...now CUSTOMERS are complaining! Even much-older customers! And no I wasn't being sarcastic or fake happy, I was being bubbly.
2007-04-17 09:43:19 · 8 answers · asked by I Hate my haters 1 in Business & Finance ➔ Careers & Employment
To Paul S: You said that I shouldn't stop being perky/cheerful, and that others are "jealous of the success" that comes with being happy. Well let me explain. Actually, I am UNsuccessful as a result of being happy. Recently, some Mystery Shoppers gave me a HORRIBLE review, partly because I'm new at my job and had more than my fair share of tables given to me the other day(it was my 3rd day on the job), and partly because, as they said "if she says 'that's awesome' one more time, I'm gonna scream." Meanwhile, I was being overly perky because I thought I was SUPPOSED to, and now I feel hurt and cheated. It offends me that I went through all that effort of being overly happy to the point of looking like a big dork, and trying too hard, just to end up with a bad review. At this point, I'm probably going to get fired...DM wants to lecture me about it tomorrow at work. So yeah, happiness does NOT always = success. Wish it did, but for me it hasn't been.
2007-04-17 10:18:24 · update #1
As for all the other jobs that I was overly happy at...they weren't successful jobs at all, they were min wage $5.15/hr McDonalds type jobs(lol one of those jobs WAS actually McDonalds). I wasn't a supervisor or anything, and despite my enthusiasm and hard work, never got promoted to supervisor. So they obviously weren't jealous of my "success," since how much success did I really have in life if I was working a min wage job? If anything, they used to theorize that I was "whacked" or "insane" to actually be happy at such a crappy min wage job.
2007-04-17 10:20:09 · update #2
Let me try to help:
You contradict yourself above - on the one hand you say "I wasn't being sarcastic or fake happy, I was being bubbly." but on the other hand you say "I went through all that effort of being overly happy to the point of looking like a big dork, and trying too hard, just to end up with a bad review." Which is it? The way I see it, the "effort of being overly happy" means "fake happy".
Nevertheless... the mystery shoppers are there to help and the information they provide is valuable, so please consider what they are telling you. I disagree that you may be fired... your DM knows it was your third day and being "fake happy" shows that you are making an effort! Your DM wants to talk to you in order to help you do a better job. Listen to what your DM is trying to tell you... ultimately these people are trying to help you be successful so that they can also be more successful.
Go into tomorrow's discussion with the intent of:
#1 - understanding what they are telling you. Once you fully understand what they are telling you and communicate that understanding to them, then
#2 - let them know that you want to keep working at it and what you are willing to do to improve, then (and only then)
#3 - you can attempt to explain your actions so that they can better understand you.
Remember - seek first to understand, then to be understood.
Good luck!
2007-04-17 15:27:53 · answer #1 · answered by Sandra M 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Communication doesn't occur in a vacuum. It always takes place in the context of a relationship, even if it's only the transient relationship between a customer and the employee working the register at a fast food joint.
Consequently there's no formula that can tell you what's a appropriate degree of perkiness or bubbliness or whatever - it's all situational.
A couple of observations: first, people who hate their lives (or even just their jobs) tend to find cheerful people annoying. Cheeriness just reminds them how miserable they are. So I would discount most of the feedback you're getting from the "angsty young punk" crowd.
Second, there's a lot of fake cheeriness around, and that is annoying to many people. For instance, many retail and restaurant chains now mandate that their employers be effusively cheery and upbeat with the customers as a condition of their employment. That's fake and many people pick up on it and find it irritating. It's possible that some of the customers who are reacting negatively to your positivity are so used to the fake kind that they reflexively assume you are being insincere.
My advice is: if you're a naturally cheerful person that's great. You're lucky. And you can spread that cheer to others around you and make the world a better place in a small but tangible way. However, be sensitive to the mood of each person you're communicating with and make it clear you're engaged with them, not just beaming happytalk out into the darkness like a lighthouse. In cases where someone seems particularly grumpy or distracted, this might mean toning it down out of respect for their mood.
2007-04-17 09:58:56 · answer #2 · answered by gussarcoffa 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How can someone be overly happy? It sounds as though you are a cheerful person by nature and the world needs more people like you. Sometimes,other people are only happy when they are miserable and can't understand that not everyone (thank goodness) has that same mind set. Don't let others change the way you are. How they feel is their problem. Don't make it yours.
2007-04-17 09:53:58 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
yes be cheerful is fine.but dont be annoying.it is very annoying to be in a restaurant and the eployees constantly asking if you need anything else.or talk so sickly sweet when you know thats not there normal way of talking.i have done service work for 30 yrs.if you watch the customers you know when they need something.but that feeling also covers being in stores.its irritating to be looking for something and they constantly ask if you need help finding something.makes you feel like they think your trying to steal.there is a happy medium.more ppl need to find it
2007-04-17 09:51:17 · answer #4 · answered by mamanana9 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is good to be happy and cheerful. When a person is happy with there life they should show others. Dont every hide it. Others have a tendency to get jealous of others success in life.
2007-04-17 09:55:06 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
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2016-09-05 15:45:30 · answer #6 · answered by suzie 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Being too much of anything is a bad thing, being too happy is off-putting, being to angry is frightening, there is always a balance. When it comes to situations with interactions, it is just best to act along with the demeanor of whomever you are interacting with.
Maybe with this bubbliness its best to just tone it down a bit, maybe.
2007-04-17 09:55:08 · answer #7 · answered by Aomi Armster 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I don't do perky.
2007-04-17 09:51:05 · answer #8 · answered by surffsav 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋