Hubby problem need advice?

Question

Ok here it goes..Well been married for 9 and half years.He has cheated at the beginnng of our marriage ,All he does is lie .Someone called him at 2 i the morning like 2 wks ago went outside to talk said it was his boss,so i called his boss he said he did not call.I left him for a day he called crying ,but i came back stuff has gottten worse he talking to his friend from highschool lied about going to see him ,Stayed out all night sat night told him not to even come home so he did not..Now he is ignoring me like I did something wrong .We have children .I don't know what is keeping me here ...I need real advice please thank you ...

Thank you ,I really respet your answers,my family is really supported ,I know what I need to do !Has anybody else been through this .Again thanks

Answer 1

The advice is in your face, be 4 real who wants to stay in a situation like that

Answer 2

He cheats, he cries, you come back...He lies, he cries, you come back... Now he is using one of the oldest tactics in the book and that is to make you feel like you have done something wrong and this is all your fault. You need to stop that right now. He is a liar, a cheater and you have done nothing to make him change that behavior, you keep taking him back or going back to him. You need to either pack and leave for good or boot him out for good. Not one night, not a week, but for good. Then you need to tell him that if he does not make the divorce a royal pain in the butt, you will do all you can to protect his image with the children and not make him look bad. If he is an a ss you will just answer the questions they ask 100% honest..."...well son, I left your dad because he lied all the time and thought it was okay to have sex with other women when we were married."

Answer 3

You guys need counseling, but it takes 2 people to do it.

I couldn't live with someone I couldn't trust, that's simple. If I were in your shoes (and I'm not, thank goodness), I'd pack up his stuff, and have it outside when he gets home. Call a locksmith, and have the locks on the house changed. Disconnect his garage door opener. Until he realizes that losing his family is a distinct possibility, he won't change. Sadly, he probably won't change even then.

Another thought I had, you have children. Do you want your children growing up with the pitiful example of marriage that you and your husband are displaying for them? Remember, they will learn what they see. Find a man who will respect you, demand it of him. You'll be doing your children a favor in the long run.

Answer 4

Don't waste anymore of your time with this liar. You have already wasted 9 years and spent 9 years trying to cover up his lies. A cheater will never change. They just get better at lying. Stay in the house get a lawyer and get everything for you and the kids. You deserve a man that will treat you respect and not lie to you. Let the bum go. I know I took my vows and I tried for 37 years and he never stopped lying they just got bigger and better. I thought wait till the kids are grown, in fact it is harder on grown kids, you have estabished holidays and what they thought was a family because you covered for all the lies. Good luck and God bless. Get out now get a lawyer and get everything you can. You can't go back and wish you had gotten more. Get it while you can. Now and move on to a happier life with a liar and cheat. All he is doing is bring you and your children down with him.

Answer 5

I know how hard this must be on you,and you are hurting very much. He is not being good to you and you don't deserve this.He is not respecting you as a wife and the mother of his children. He has destroyed any trust you cold have had in him. He is selfish, self centered, and emotionally abusing you. He is more than likely cheating and looking for arguments with you to go out and feel that he is entittled to it. He is not.........and is not committed to the relationship that he has with you. He has gotten away with this before and there were no consequences for his actions. You need to do something different because the way your doing this is not working. Get youself some counseling somebody to help you with your pain and dissapointment in him. Someone that will guide you to see that you are worth more than he is giving you. I know it is frightening to imagine yourself alone and doing that won't be easy, but you have to try! There are people in this world that would accept you with your children and care about the way you feel. He will be made to pay child support and there are grants to further your education if you need to? Most colleges have day care centers on the spot. The government also provides hud housing untill you get on your feet. Go to social services and ask for someone you can talk with to see what is available to you. No woman without children or with children should have to live miserable over a man. You cannot depend on your husband to make you happy especially when he is not happy with himself and what he has in life already....you, and your beautifull children. The children deserve better to.........when parents have so much tension,and fighting between them it affects them more than you know. They deserve a peacefull loving invironment, and to see their mother happy not sad all of the time. You have these children and they are worth everything it takes to make it better for them. Children truely do live what they learn......You would never want your daughter to stay and put up with abuse in her own relationship. If she grows up watching her father treat her mother badly she will expect that it would be normal for her to. It is the same for sons to they may grow up and treat women like their father. Show them it can be different......alow youself to be appreciated for the wonderfull woman I am sure you are. Best Wishes Always.

Answer 6

hon, you know you didn't do anything wrong, so stop feeling like a criminal.

you are obviously a victim of his lies and deceit. it would be very difficult coping with this, i agree.

i guess it is time to sit down and discuss this together. let him know how you FEEL about things... telling him how you are feeling isn't pointing the finger, it's a self-expression. ask him what he wants? does he want to continue the marriage and be a proper husband and father or no? he needs to make a decision. it's not fair of him to go sneaking around.

if you want the relationship to continue and get things "repaired" consider a minister or therapist.

i hope that you get some good help and advice here. i'm sorry to hear you're having these problems.

hugz

Answer 7

He cheats, he cries, you come again...He lies, he cries, you come again... Now he's making use of between the oldest approaches in the e book and that's to make you experience such as you have executed something incorrect and it incredibly is all your fault. you will desire to give up that precise now. he's a liar, a cheater and you have executed no longer something to make him substitute that habit, you shop taking him back or going back to him. you will desire to the two %. and go away for good or boot him out for good. no longer one night, no longer a week, yet for good. then you definately would desire to tell him that if he would not make the divorce a royal discomfort in the butt, you will do all you could to guard his photograph with the little ones and not make him seem undesirable. If he's an a ss you will basically answer the questions they ask one hundred% honest..."...nicely son, I left your dad because of the fact he lied all the time and concept it became into very nicely to have intercourse with different women human beings as quickly as we've been married."

Answer 8

How many children do you have...

Sweetie, if you know he's cheating why do you stay? There's not enough love in the world to sacrifice your happiness for the sake of being married to a looser. Do it for your children. I grew up in a very unhappy household (parents didn't cheat) but none-the-less it was VERY unhappy...and I remember blaming my mother for staying there and allowing me to see everything going on with my father and her...He was very verbally abusive to my mom EVERY day...and I remember wishing my mother had a back bone to stand up and leave this man....now I go through problems in my marriage because of things that I was exposed to at an early age....

Lady, it's not worth staying in that situation "because of the children" do what's right so that you can at least have the respect of your children as they grow up.

Answer 9

you don't really want help. you want sympathy. You know what you are suppose to do. DO IT. He is blatently disrespecting you and you continue to let it happen. If you are going to leave then leave and do not come back. Stay gone. so what he cried. How many times have you cried and he has just done the same thing over to you again???? He is a loser and you should know you deserve better for yourself. I say anything can be worked out but both parties have to commit to fixing the issue. He clearly wants to fix it for awhile then go back to where he was again.

Answer 10

Sounds like you answered your own question. If you can't find a reason to stay; then you should move on with your life. Start making preparations now. Get a good look at all the finances and try to segregate your assets. Move as much cash as possible into a checking account with only your name on the account.
Once you lay the groundwork, then approach him with the news.

Answer 11

He is cheating. You know it in your heart. You just need to face up to it in your head.

Is this how you want to spend you life? It won't get better. Especially if you let him disrespect you like this.

You must take a stand. Either you leave, or you tell him he must leave. You don't want to spend the rest of your life with someone you can not trust.

If he wants to save the relationship he must come clean with you, and start treating you with the respect you deserve