How do GLBT youth determine whether or not it's a good idea to come out to their parents?

Question

What should they look for? What should they listen for?

Answer 1

This is a tricky one. Before you do you might want to contact PFLAG, Parents and Friends of Lesbians And Gays. They can discuss your situation and relationship with your parents and give you profissional advice.

Answer 2

They'd look for them whispering meanly about gay couples or turning off the TV when watching gay people holding hands.

I always listened when my parents talked about their political views. I listened to what candidates my parents liked and found it if these candidates supported same-sex marriage or not. That didn't get me anywhere though, 'cause my dad supports me in whatever decision I make, but he doesn't believe as a whole that gay people should have rights. So basically, I think they should just watch and listen and see if they ever say anything rude about anything in the GLBT community.

Answer 3

Whether their parents are mentally stable...or if they own a weapon!

I seriously don't think my mum could handle it but people surprise you. I guess it depends on what's going on in the parents lives,if they could take it or if it would tip them over the edge.When my mum watches tv and 2 men/women kiss she goes "yuck.Do we need to see that?" or "they're so goodlooking it's such a waste" so i think little hints like that to see if they're open minded(my mum not so much lol). I suppose in most cases it's a matter of getting the timing right , but in less tolerant countries maybe that's never!maybe it just feels like the right time in one moment,but i couldn't say 'cos i've not found that yet :)

Answer 4

I think most kids know their parents, know their families. I never told my mom anything, not because I didn't trust her but because I wasn't sure myself- she knew anyway. Do what's comfortable for you. It's not necessary to have a big sit-down, but if that's what works, do it. Be prepared for the worst, it happens, but don't necessarily expect it. People will surprise you, but I've found the true bigots generally don't need prompting, they'll go into tirades over the evening news.

I think the best bet is to always follow your gut.

Answer 5

Pay attention to how they react to encounters with glbt ppl, and do they ever comment negatively when they see them in the media? Mention casually that a friend from school came out to you, see if they react. If you are not dependant on them who cares, it's your life not theirs.

Answer 6

The truth is always the best road to go, but you have to be prepared for the fallout.

I came out after I moved out on my own, at the age of 17, then told my parents I was gay on my 18th birthday. It went poorly, but I was not dependent on them so it hurt my feelings but didn't put me in any jeopardy.

Answer 7

they really need to be close enough to their parents in order to know how their parents will react. if they aren't close to their parents, and know their parents would react in a very negative way (like kicking them out of the house), then i believe they should keep it to themselves until they are out on their own. otherwise if the youth knows there won't be any major issues with telling their parents then they should : )

Answer 8

It's never a good idea.. but hell since you'll do whatever you feel like anyway, why should your parents feelings and values matter to you?

Answer 9

its not a good idea when you find out your dad is extremely homophobic and would probably kick you out

Answer 10

when I was a teen I just told my parents I was gay, and that was that if they dident like it then thats there problem NOT MINE