How do I make is stop???

Question

My husband seems to call me at the worst times. He called me this morning after our daughter threw a fit when I dropped her off at daycare and when I was in my son's daycare dropping him off. He got mad at me because I didn't answer my phone. When I did answer it he asked "What the hell are you doing?" I was already upset so I said,"What do you want?" I know this was bad on my part but I drop them off all the time. We both work in a different town. Then he called me again at 11 am when I was working and wanted to know what size of pool we are going to buy. I was flustered because I was trying to get checks printed so I told him I don't know right now. He got mad both times and just hung up on me. When I tried to call him back this morning he just ignored my call. We have been married for 5yrs and he does this every now and then but it makes my day hell. What should I say to him to make him understand that it is not fair that he treat me that way?

Answer 1

Girl, if you've been married to him for five years, you should be able to up front with him and ask him: "Have you lost all your marbles?" Just tell him that contrary to popular belief, you are not sitting around just waiting for him to call. You have kids to tend to and a job, and if it's not an emergency he shouldn't make you feel like you're some kind of nut because you just don't drop everything to answer all his calls during the day. It doesn't sound like he has a trust issue; just a guy that's probably used to having his way. And when he hangs up on you like that, DO NOT CALL HIM BACK RIGHT AWAY. Better yet, don't answer at all and when he asks why didn't you answer, just say I didn't know who was going to be on the other end Dr. Jekyll or Mr. Hyde. Stand up for yourself, baby. He's your husband and deserves your love and respect, just as you are his wife and deserve the same.

Answer 2

He may be your husband but you obviously have a life other than being a wife and he needs to respect that. I think he's being controlling and quite honestly selfish about you being busy when he wants something at the drop of a hat. I would have to explain to him that you can't be readily available 24-7 when you have a job and kids and he should show some compassion for that. If he wants you to be a full time wife, ask him to let you quit your job and you'll be there anytime he needs you. Some of the reasons he's called you are things that could wait until after work anyway. He shouldn't feel as though he can control your every minute.

Answer 3

Understanding one another in a marriage is always going to be difficult whether your married 5,10, or 15 years or more. Professionals will always say to take some stress out of your life, and make time for one another. Unfortunately, in this day and age that is not usually possible. Divorce is at an all time high right now because of that very reason. My wife and I are stressed all the time. We will be short with one another often.
He wants to know what he wants to know now. You need to do what you are doing now. There will be lots of times like that. The best way through it, is when you have a moment of peace together, apologize, even if you don't think you are the one wrong, you will show that you understand he is important. I am always apologizing first to my wife, even when I think she should, it's just not in her nature, so I take the high road. Then she apologizes, and if we're lucky we have a couple minutes of great sex. I do for her, then she does for me. Another frictional moment will come of course, but when the dust settles, you both love each other, and will show understanding in whatever form you each are capable of.
Stay strong and understanding, and he will do the same.
Doesn't matter who does it first, you are both one now.

Answer 4

When he calls just let him know that you are dropping off your son/daughter and this is not a good time and you will call him back as soon as you are free to talk to him. It seems as though he just want your attention or he wants to know your every move so he can be watchful of you just in case he's doing something on the side.

Answer 5

Explain to him how hectic your day is (give examples) and ask him to call during down times (lunch, etc.). Tell him that you love to hear from him, but that there are times that it's just not possible.

Another, or additional, idea: Develop a code to let him know that you are in the middle of something and have no time at the moment, but will call him back as soon as things settle down. It could be a code word, i.e., eyeballs (as in, "up to my eyeballs in it," I'll call you back). That way you can deliver the message quickly and hopefully (because it's predetermined) in a way that won't upset him. Then call back after the crisis is over. This rids you of both problems (explaining bad timing at the horrible time and his getting upset), but still allows him to call when he might want/need to.

Answer 6

It's really not hard. Tell him you love him and he called at a really bad time. It's not a dig on him, make sure he knows that. And I promise he'll think twice about calling you if he thinks it's a bad time. Just make sure he knows it's not him it's the kids or whatever. If he continues to get upset and do this again and again then you might need to do something else but, first talk. Remember, you just didn't know to tie your shoes you were told. People alot of times don't know things unless their told how or why. Simple.

Answer 7

Join the club - my wife does the same thing to me. She's even gone so far as to call the receptionist, tell her to grab me because its an emergency, then ask me what color of bedsheets she should buy.

Sign - I feel your pain.

I think its a lack of understanding that while we are at work, we need to focus on work. Maybe have a call during our lunch hour, that's fine, but unless someone is dying and we are the only ones who can save their soul from eternal damnation, don't call.

How I solved this is by telling my wife when she can call me when I am at work. 12:30 to 1:00pm, after 5:00 PM, and before 9:00 AM, and that's it, unless it is an emergency. If he is considerate, he will understand.

Answer 8

Tell him when things are going wrong and maybe he should try not to call all the time and get mad when you are having a hard time or you are working. I just think you both need to work on communication with each other and how to talk to each other with out being rude or getting mad every time.

Answer 9

Not to be insensitive, but have you told him how you feel? It doesn't hurt to open your mouth and tell him that you don't like how he is snappy with you when you are stressed and busy. Don't yell, yelling never works. Hitting doesn't either. Talk calmly and explain how you feel about the situation. Matter of fact, if you have time between working, complaining, and wrangling the rugrats, write down what you want to say to him. Point out times that he didn't answer his phone because he was busy and that you deserve the same respect on doing that. But mind you, he is your husband and head of the household. Respect him by not snapping at him because he called you!!!!

Answer 10

Sounds like he is insure right now and hunny men get that way from time to time, My question to you is are you both spending a little time with each other just you no kids phones work, and not talking about the kids, work. Phoning you with what you think is stupid calls is just a way for him to keep in contact with you on your daily route, maybe its time for a little fun for you and your husband, and just tell him that on this day I am printing checks and its hard for me to stop, or how about you calling him, after you get in the car from day care and tell him what just happened, I think he just wants to stay connected.