If you.........................?

Question

what would you do if you were lets say 15 and lost your dad??
would you let all your dreams go??
or go on living your life like nothing happend??
or would you starve your self or cut yourself??
( and im just asking this just to know it doesnt mean im doing all of these)

Answer 1

You have to go on.

Your father wanted you to succeed. You may have to defer your dreams, but never let them go

Answer 2

Knowing what I know now about the grief process,
I would give myself all the time and space to grieve
and not judge myself or feel bad for whatever I did or needed to go through. I would find people I could share with, no matter what I am thinking or feeling. I would go online and post messages if I needed to. I would join a support group of other people who are going through similar grief or uncertainty. One thing I would never do is judge myself or anyone else, or let anyone suffer alone, worried what other people might think. Everyone is different and has to go through emotions, thoughts and memories in a special way. No one should have to suffer alone, but should have support to go through the ups and downs, ins and outs, no matter what order the stages come or how long they last.

I lost my dad to a stroke in 1985 when I was 18, and didn't react fully until five years later, because he hadn't finished dying yet but was in a vegetative state. So I started late on the grieving and resolution process which took about 10 years. He physically died in 2001 a few months before 9/11.

So I am glad I got to finish my grief process before that national tragedy hit. I was a teacher at the time, and ended up counseling a lot of students, parents and other teachers through a lot of grief that took a lot to work through. So all I know is to give people time and space and never judge anyone who is going through grief. It just makes it worse.
The hardest thing is not to judge yourself, or to be afraid.

Fear and anger can be the hardest things to let go of. Let go and let yourself feel and go through whatever you need, and it will pass smoother. You cannot always help the feelings and the length of time, but if you give yourself space and room, it is easier than fighting or suppressing it. So that is the main thing I would advise anyone is not to feel bad about feeling bad, or going through things you don't understand or can't express. Don't judge yourself but know you are loved, and deserve to be free and healed.

If you need to feel safe while you go through this, please look online for a support group or message board. If it helps to keep a diary or journal, you can look back and see the progress you are making so you don't feel hopeless. You can also email me if you have questions, thoughts or ideas you are not sure about. Take care and please don't worry. Whatever you feel or don't feel is a natural reaction to grief and trauma, or else you wouldn't be doing that. You deserve support in whatever you are enduring, and I hope you find what helps you through this. Love, Emily

Answer 3

My dad is in the Philippines right now. :(

We're just e-mailing each other and talking on Y!M.

If I lost him I would commit self-injury, I love my dad so freakin' muuuuuuuch!!!!