why is this happening?

Question

for all u married people out there. okay heres the thing i am married but just recently the guy who fathered my first child which is not my hubby got in a bad wreck and almost died, and i love my hubby more than anything in the world, but ever since the daughters dad was in a bad wreck and almost died i cant help but think about him, i even dream about him. now he is going to live but i cant seem to think about how i almost never got the chance to see him alive once more. we were never actually dating we were just really good freinds with benefits. i havent seen him for over 5 years. i let that part of my life go, but ever since his accident i cant seem to get him off of my mind. why is this happening? why am i having all of these thoughts and feelings? i love my husband and will NEVER leave him, we just had are first child together. i need some advice.

when i found out that he might die it scared me. is this normal, i dont love my daughters father, i love my hubby and hes the only one i want to be with. but i am having all these thoughts and things about my daughters dad.

Answer 1

It is your daughters father girl what do you expect?
It is normal, just because you two didn't share something that special such as a long term relationship or marriage you both created a beautiful little girl together and that right there is something special, you cannot expect to have no feelings for him whatsoever whether your married or not..
You know you love your husband and that's all that matters, so what if you have your 1st daughters father on your mind you both almost lost him including your daughter...
Just be grateful he is alive and ok. Maybe ask your husband if he wouldn't mind you going to see him to make sure everything is ok invite your hubby to go along if he is not comfortable with you going alone, depending on your daughters age you can think about taking her to see him as well but that is all up to you....
good luck!

Answer 2

Ok. well your asking right! In my opinion I think that you have deeper feelings for your daughters dad than you want to dmit to yourself.. now I dont dought you love your hubby, but the moment you thought your daughters dad might die your real feelings actually came out whether you wanted them to or not. maybe you should come in contact w him ask if hes ok, maybe your daughter might want to see him. of course run it through your husband first. I think you should really ask yourself why is this happening and dont let these feelings be a problem w your marriage, because thats how affairs begin first it begins with a thought and then it goes on from there.. always think of the consequence before you act.. if thats what you want to happen. Good Luck and remember your husband loves you too.

Answer 3

I think how you feel is perfectly normal and innocent. You are obviously going to have some feelings towards something tragic with anybody you know. I have the same son/ex situation and if my son's bio-father had something happen I am sure I would feel the same way even though I am in love with my husband, I wouldn't think to hard on this, you cant expect to have something like this happen (especially when it is linked to your child) and not have emotions tied to it. I think if you bare with it and give it time that these feeling and even dreams will in time pass. Right now you are having a difficult time, and a mind is a very complicated thing.

Answer 4

There will always be a part of you that cares for the father of your child. And such a traumatic experience like almost losing the father of your child will no doubt be hard to get out of your mind.....thus, your dreams.

If you can just accept the fact that he will always have a place in your thoughts and in your heart just because you share a child together, it will be much easier to cope with.

Don't start to doubt your feelings toward anything after such an experience. You're just fine.

Answer 5

You two are bonded for life.... You share a child, she is part of both of you.
This is why you are having these overwhelming thoughts. You say you love your hubby, and that he is the only one you want to be with- think about that.

Maybe you are just scared because you dont want your little girl (i assume) to grow up without her dad?
Dont let your thoughts overwhelm you- you two have history together and a part of you will always care for him, that is what I think.
Dont sweat it!

Answer 6

Personal question for you....did you grow up with out a father? Maybe it is a reaction to your personal issue with no father. (if that was your situation)

Otherwise I would say it is somewhat normal but might be becoming to overwhelming for you. Seek some counseling to talk about your fears and/or concerns.

Answer 7

You are a silly overly emotional woman. You are going to let this guy, who you never loved, get into and between your marriage. Just stop thinking about him, it's not a hard thing to do.

Your husband should divorce you now, he deserves better than you.

Answer 8

I think you really need to look into yourself, terror is something we can all live without but when it happens it takes you back into yesterday. You need to go and see him and deal with all the feelings you are facing. Good Luck.