i do not know what to do??

Question

I'm thinking about an abortion but i kinda just think that i got myself into this i should just deal with it and keep the baby to remind myself of the mistake i made but i also was thinking of adoption what do u think i should do??

OK I'm convinced i think I'm going to give it up i just need people to stop me form making a big mistake i now if i asked i would be convinced thanks a lot

Answer 1

Whatever you do, don't keep the baby as a punishment to yourself for past mistakes. Yes, you got yourself into this, but there are ways out, and it sounds like you should take either option. For me, I have gone the abortion route in the past and I have absolutely no regrets - the timing was totally wrong for me to have a kid and it was the best option for me at the time. I know for a fact I would not be able to carry a baby to term and then give it away. Having 2 kids now and 1 more on the way, that would be the hardest thing ever to have to do. But a lot of women do it, and they believe they are making the best decision for themselves and their babies, which they probably are.

Whichever route you take, know that you are the only one who can make this decision - do not let others make you feel bad about what you decide to do. Best of luck to you!

Answer 2

this is a difficult one to answer. my immediate reaction is one of "oh no" you can't keep a baby "to remind yourself of the mistake you made" as you don't want negativity here and you don't want to resent a child - it isn't their fault you are pregnant. You should consider adoption. Adoption is a fantastic thing but also one that takes a great deal of courage and strenght on the part of the birth mother (and the other involved parties too). However are you just thinking "help, i have made a mistake" because you weren't planning on becoming pregnant? You might find that you actually get very attached to the idea of bringing your child into the world, and maybe even bringing it up. I have friends who've had abortions and they do feel regret for years after, though one friend doesn't as it has meant she can support her existing family better. Have you read facts about abortion? Do you realise what it involves/does? You have to decide whetehr you believe life begins at conception or at some point during pregnancy. This will help you personally decide about the abortion issue. Do you have a steady partner? Have you discussed your feelings with them and do you know what they are thinking? You may be surprised. I just want to wish you good luck and hope that you make the right decision for you, your baby and the future.

Answer 3

I'm not anti-abortion, but feel it is only necessary in extreme situations, such as rape or incest, or extreme immaturity of the mother. Do not keep the baby as a reminder of the mistake you made. Putting a baby up for adoption or having an abortion will never leave your memory.
Adoption can be a beautiful thing, there are so many wonderful people out there who cannot be natural birth parents who would be more than willing to accept your child.
Abortions can be risky, and should not be used as a form of birth control. You should never "deal" with being a parent, even if it was a mistake, if you cannot see your child as a blessing and only see it as something to be dealt with, please do not try to raise this child. You will not be able to love it to the extent that it deserves. It deserves to be cherished, not resented.

Answer 4

I just want to say that i was 19 and not married when I got pregnant with my daughter. It's a scary situation, but I just wanted to say that I don't think that your child will be a reminder of a mistake. My daughter is the biggest blessing and most amazing person in my life. I wouldn't trade her for anything. And she has taught me so much about life and what really matters.
But some people aren't ready for the huge responsibility of being a mother. If you don' t think that you are ready or could be ready, I would recommend adoption. I know for me (and it is strictly my thoughts), I wouldn't be able to live with the after thoughts of an abortion for the rest of my life. I think that would be a mistake that you would think about for a long time. Why not let someone else take care of your child if you can't?
The other thing that I think about a lot is that I think a lot of people regret having an abortion, but I honestly can't imagine anyone looking at their child, with all of the love that a child brings, and wish that they had had an abortion.
Best of luck in your decision. I wish the best for you.

Answer 5

I don't think you should abort the baby. Its a desision you would probably regret. If you looked at your baby now you could see that it actually looks like a person.

Keeping the baby would probably be hard. The life of a single mother is hard and exhausting. You might come to resent the baby but I doubt it, seems like moms can't help but love thier babies despite everything they put them through. If you can and have a good support system it would probably be good for you in the long run because you wouldn't always wonder what if and later decide you want your baby back.

Adoption is probably the easiest choice. I say easiest but thats not completely true because you'd still have to go through pregnancy which for me is worse than labor. I'd suggest using an open adoption agency. One where you get to pick the parents. That way they can be there at the birth and hold the baby immediatly after, its so much better for the baby. Plus you can give them your information if the child ever wants to get in touch with you or you can sometimes get to visit.

Answer 6

You should put the baby's needs first. Adoption is the most unselfish thing you can do in this case. Keeping the child just as a reminder of the mistake you made is not in the best interest of this child. Place the baby in a loving home, with parents that want a child! Good luck to you.

Answer 7

I don´t believe any baby that is brought into this world is a mistake. I´m against abortion but do believe in giving a child up for abortion, and you are right you should take responsibility for your actions that is the right thing to do. At the end of the day it is your choice and if you have the support from family and friends I see no need to abort the baby....

Good luck...

Answer 8

Having the baby to "remind yourself of the mistake" you made is a bad idea. The decision will not affect you alone. It will affect your child for the rest of his or her life.

Keeping the baby, adoption and abortion are all options that can work for you, but you have to understand the consequences of each choice.

Open adoption - where you meet the people who will adopt your child and have visitation rights - is worth considering too.

Go to Planned Parenthood or seek similar support from another agency with people who can give you information about each option.

Answer 9

Adoption is a wonderful option. It is the most unselfish decision to make. You benefit, your baby benefits, and the loving couple that adopts your baby benefits. Everyone makes mistakes, but continuing to beat yourself up about it is not good for you or your child. If you keep the baby to remind you of your mistake, you are more likely to treat the baby poorly, and that's not fair. An abortion will haunt you for the rest of your life.
I have a cousin, who was in the same situation, even though it was hard, she gave her son up for adoption to a wonderful couple. It turns out, the were friends of ours and knew my grandmother (also hers). They kept it very open and she got to see him often and spend time with him. Later, she met a great guy and they got married. The couple even came to her wedding with the baby. She knew she made the best choice for him and has not regrets.

Answer 10

Don't keep a baby to torture yourself about a bad decision, but do not get an abortion and kill an innocent child because of the mistake either. I think adoption is the best option.