Tell hubby in person or over the phone??

Question

I am 22 yrs old and hubby is 24 yrs old.We have been married a 1.5 yrs our relationship was always on again off again mixed in with love-hate.I just graduated from college and he is in the air force currently in England.To get to the point at one of his friends bachelor party's he got drunk and had sex with one of the strippers.Our relationship got really nasty after this he went to England saying he would do as he pleased.Out of revenge i went and had fling with an ex.bf got pregnant .I am 6.5 months pregnant not told anyone and hidding it .My hubby is being transfered and comes home in 2 months he says he wants to work things out but i dont think this applies.

I dont think the reaction will be pretty either way but i would have to wait till he came home to do it in person?

Answer 1

I normal don't agree with people who give bad news over the phone. However in your case I might do it. Since he will be gone for a few months yet. It might be harder for him to come home and see you just about to give birth. This might give him some time to decide what wants to do. I am sorry but this is a hard choose for you but you need to deal with it now and as it comes. Please remember to be safe and take care of your unborn baby. You might want to tell a close family member or friend you need some support in your life this is not going to be any easy thing to do. BTW did you tell the baby's daddy you are pregnant? Is he going to be involved in the child's life.

Good Luck and I wish the best for you and your family.

Answer 2

I think on the phone is a start or even in a letter to him. He needs to know about the pregnancy and who the father is so he can swallow it and take it in before comeing home and back to you and to this marriage. Revenge was wrong and not the answer in this case and now you have to be honest and tell him the truth and go from there. Two wrongs do not make it right you know. If your husband wants to work things out you need to be honest with him and this will definitley apply and affect your relationship and marriage to your husband. Do you want the marriage or not? Did you tell the father of the baby that you are pregnant yet?

Answer 3

*Wow....*

~Well I hate to say it but that's karma (for him). I mean I think that you should not have stooped to his level though, and messed around.

BUT at the same time, I can understand you were feeling outraged and emotional...and sometimes in the heat of the moment it seems right, even when it's not.

*That does not matter right now, the point is you have a dilemma on your hands.
-I think you should tell him in person, because over the phone is almost like the "Dear John" letter...only with a voice. I mean you made a mistake, and yeah it is a BIG deal because you got pregnant from it.

*But you have to come clean about it. And whether or not he can handle it or accept that, well...that is up to him.
.You also have to be prepared to handle him possibly leaving you for good because of this. And I would not blame him if he did, because this is a HUGE deal. That is like him getting that stripper pregnant...so look at it that way. And think how you would react, because maybe you'll be able to better understand his reaction when you tell him and the decision he makes.

*So you need to fess up and tell him in person, you cant hide a baby...or a pregnancy forever you know. *

~You both made your mistakes, and now you have to reap the consequences for it. That's life. You live and you learn.

*I hope you both take something from the mistakes you have made with each other, and don't repeat them in the future.*

~Good luck, and let us know how it goes please.

Answer 4

That's the immature thinking of a 22 year old!!!!! THIS is why no one should get married before 30! I feel bad for you but honestly is the key. Shame on the both of you for acting this way. Neither one of you respects the meaning of your marriage vows. You should give him a divorce if he wants one.....you should have told him much sooner than now. Too much time has gone by and i just know hes' going to be really angry....no matter if it was for revenge, you'll be the one paying for it in the long haul! Shame on you...if you couldnt forgive for his transgression, you should have divorced him. Going out and cheating and on top of that not protecting yourself is a slap in the face to any sensible human being. You should be honest adn answer all of his concerns, should he choose to forgive you and raise this child. You've got a long road back if you 2 decide to stay married. But, honestly I dont think he'll go for it. Good LUck and remember, you are supposed to LEARN from your mistakes!

Answer 5

First of all both of you are way too immature to be married. I feel very sorry for the baby. To be honest I would tell him over the phone, believe me you don't want to see his face and also by then you'll be almost due. Maybe he's telling the truth and willing to change. If he has grown up a little bit maybe he'll be a daddy to the baby. This sounds crazy but it happens. I hope you have friends and family to help you through labor cause you don't want to do that alone. I really think you should tell someone very close to you about the baby because you need some support right now. I hope your going to the Dr.s good luck.

Answer 6

how'd the payback work out for you ?? now you've got an innocent baby involved, not to mention the dad to be.. how fair are you being to him ??? You both have as about as much maturity as a gnat.... does he have any idea what can happen to him if his superiors in the Air Force find out what he did ?? You do realize that its possible that his AF career is over... Hope the fling was well worth it for you and his actions were worth it for him.. Shame on you both.... you need to tell the baby's dad first and have the guts to tell your husband.. over the phone so he has time to start to deal with the mess you've made.. the baby isn't the mess.. your actions are the mess

Answer 7

what a tangled web we weave when we aim to deceive......this is a old saying that definitely applies in this situation. Revenge is never the answer. I think you shouldn't try to work it out at all. You were both to young to marry and some things can't be fixed. Once the trust in the relationship is broken, it can never be found again. You both need to grow up and stop acting like children yourselves. Tell him on the phone and pray that he cools down before he sees you. Good luck, I'd hate to be in your shoes.

Answer 8

Well, tell him fast - he's bound to see it and that could blow way out of proportion. Second, get a divorce and settle things as amicable as possible as each of you belongs with someone else. You need to focus on the new life your about to bring into the world and for some reason I think he's just done sowing his wild oats and figures since he's married& doesn't know what's been hidden from him, he's got some work to do but thinks it's fixable.

Answer 9

Ok. If I were in your situation, I think I would call him and come clean. I mean the worst thing he could do is say he wants a divorce. THe way I see it, neither one of you are 100% commited to being married. He has the right to know that his wife is having a baby and that it is not his. Affairs are NEVER ok especially as revenge. Revenge is petty and stupid.

Answer 10

I would tell him now over the phone. He deserves to know ASAP so he can figure out what he wants to do.

Can you imagine coming home from the Air Force with the intention of having a healthy marriage and finding out your wife is 8 months pregnant by her ex-boyfriend? He will be very hurt and angry.

Have you told your ex? He deserves to know too.