I will do anything to have him look at me the way he use to! I cry everynite because I cant take the way we cant talk or even hug in bed!! I feel so depressed Its running through my mind 24/7, I wish there was someway to let him know I would never hurt him again!!
2007-04-17 05:01:42 · 51 answers · asked by Cyn. 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
she will never trust u again
2007-04-17 05:03:38 · answer #1 · answered by gimmieswag 5 · 2⤊ 2⤋
It’s going to take a long time for him to get over this. It’s very hard. I’ve been cheated on and there are times I look at him and I can picture the affair.. Along with how could you possibly do this to me!!... I don’t your situation and know how or why it happened. So some please forgive me if I go off a bit to the right.....
He is still there and didn’t leave, there for he does love you and is accepting what has happened. Trying to make it work. He has shied away because he doesn’t want to feel like this again... Keep in mind he will never truly forgive you, the thought never does go away fully.
The good thing is you have fully realized the mistake and will not allow it to happen again. You have admitted it and taking it to heart. I give you full respect for trying to fix this mistake.....
I do know you will need to work you *** off every way possible for him to have that security back again. Yet not to the point where it drives him up the wall....Phoning and checking in when you are out and about wont hurt, letting him know what your plans are and so forth. It’s the small things that will help a lot. Not the big things. Respect will return. Do more stuff as a couple, some nice dinner dates from time to time and so forth.
Tell him how you feel and what it is doing to you, even thou it was you who made the mistake you need to tell him this will help him to understand why you are trying so hard to fix it. Lay it on the line. Communication helps so dam much.. it really does .....Plus he will open up to you and he will express how he feels and what’s been crossing his mind. Maybe not right now but it will come he will find it easier to approach the subject.
2007-04-17 06:54:55 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm really sorry you're in pain, but this is a classic case of our "split second" decisions coming back to bite us in the assola. Unfortunately, now, you have to face the consequences. I'm sure you thought about that before you cheated, but for some reason, the good feelings you were gonna get from the other guy overshadowed whatever you felt for the fiance. With time, maybe he'll heal. You have to EARN his trust back. Nothing you do or say right now will make it any better. If you think you hurt, just think about what he's going through if he really does love you, and at the same time feels so betrayed by you and doesn't want to love you anymore, but does. He has to figure out if he can EVER trust you again. I hope you learned your lesson. I don't buy the "once a cheater always a cheater" thing. I know for a fact people CAN change. Learn from this and don't ever make this particular mistake again. As you can see, it's not worth the cost. Not at 'tal! Nothing you can do, but wait and see how this pans out. Be faithful no matter which way it goes. Because he might forgive you or might not, but you ALWAYS have to live with yourself. Make the right choices from here on out, Dear.
2007-04-17 05:09:50 · answer #3 · answered by a_lot_smarter_now 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I hate to be the bearer of bad news but you will never get the trust back. Once you've lost it, it is gone. If you were married I would tell you to work on it and try to make things better even though they will never be the same. However, you said fiance so your best bet is to call it quits, let the hurt heal, start over with someone new and learn from the mistake you made the first time. I'm not trying to be mean, just honest. This should also tell you something about yourself. Take a honest look at yourself. Is he really the right one for you, do you have low moral values and cheating is just not a big deal to you, are you horny and he is not taking care of your needs and etc. You need to find out why you cheated in the first place.
2007-04-17 05:10:57 · answer #4 · answered by tcb396 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Sweetheart, you already destroyed the true key to a successful marriage – trust! Ya, you feel bad now, but where were those feelings when you were accepting some other guys love? When it happened, you never thought about about your fiance when you were having your orgasms, were you?
Would you look at him the same way as before and completely forgive and forget for him if it was the other way around? Every time he sees you now, he sees the other guy violating what he was preparing to devote a lifetime to. The problem with cheaters: they always regret what they did, but ultimately do it again.
Sorry to say, you ruined it for yourself and destroyed his trust. Do you think he will ever forgive and forget? His current response suggest no, so getting married would be a waste of time, energy and money. I'm suprised he's even still around.
If I were him, you'd be on the pavement, on your own back to the guy you cheated with.
2007-04-17 05:30:30 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hello! I'm sorry to hear that your in this kind of situation. I have to say once you break that bind of trust; it takes a very long time to recover from that. It will take time to build that trust back if at all. Ask yourself why you cheated. What are you not getting from your relationship that made you cheat. Is the person you cheated with, is it someone you still keep in contact with? You might want to get rid of that relationship if that is the case.
I hope you and your fiance can rebuild your relationship. Try taking a trip together somewhere and reconnect with each other. Some place you two found special.
2007-04-17 05:26:25 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you can't talk or hug anymore, it sounds like you're doomed and one has to wonder why the engagement is still on.
The only thing you can do, assuming your fiance still wants to be with you, is to keep things as open and honest as possible, and under no circumstances should you be anywhere near the person you cheated with, or even talk to him.
Constantly apologizing or saying it won't happen again likely won't help, as it will keep things fresh in his mind and never allow either of you to get past what's already happened. Openness, honesty, and showing that you trust your fiance are really the only things you can do. Everything else will probably just seem forced or not genuine. You can't change the past, but you can make sure it doesn't happen again.
2007-04-17 05:09:15 · answer #7 · answered by Sancho 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You can't, fact is not only should he never trust you again but he should dump you and find a good woman. A woman that respects him, the relationship and knows how important that is. You are the lowest of the low, a cheater. Once a cheater always a cheater.
The percentage of cheaters who tell their partner that they will never cheat again is 100%. Therefore you telling him that you would never hurt him again is meaningless. You have already crossed that line, and crossing it again is easier the second time.
He should kick you to the curb now and not look back. Hope you get what you deserve.
2007-04-17 05:12:19 · answer #8 · answered by Just a friend. 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I think he'll trust u eventually but it'll take time. Being cheated on is KILLER. It takes sooo much time to rekindle what u had and regain that trust. I'd say stand by him even though he may be cold towards u and indifferent and thatll prove that ur serious about the relationship and want to start fresh again. U can TELL him that ull never hurt him a million times but only standing the test of time and sticking with the relationship while being truly faithful is gona actually prove something to him. Also, i think when people are cheated on they want to punish the other person and they want to know that theyre willing to handle the consequences of their actions. so deal with the punishment and torture and have faith that its only temporary. counseling mite help also.
2007-04-17 05:10:11 · answer #9 · answered by Chelley 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
do u no why u cheated?
i believe the only way to make this ok is to find out why u cheated and then work on those issues...
so that u no u could never do this again
feeling now that you couldn't do it again is a gut reaction - if u marry this guy, u'll need to feel this forever, even when things do get dull, difficult, unbearable etc.. as they sometimes do
apologies mean nothing
words mean nothing
u have a lot of work ahead of u and i wish u luck
2007-04-19 03:55:38 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You've set yourself up for a long haul. Write him a letter, maybe take several days to write it, be heart felt. Tell him why you were wrong, tell him how much he means to you, how much you love and miss him. Tell him you would do anything to get his trust back. Let him decide. Buy him a card, something that expresses the pain you've caused Things will slowly come back, but for years you'll have continue to gain that deep trust. If he stays with you, you know he's willing to work it out, he knows it will take a great amount of time. And finally decide to give up or give in on things before you might of used as leverage,
2007-04-17 05:10:48 · answer #11 · answered by Dan G 1 · 1⤊ 1⤋