Husband thinks preganancy fatigue is bs, advice?

Question

I am just coming into my 6th month of pregnancy and the fatigue that I felt during the early months is back. I am a stay at home wife and some days it is hard to keep up with the housework because I feel so tired. My husband has been very unsupportive lately telling me that I am using my pregnancy as an excuse to slack off, I would like some advise from women who have gone through the same. I can't figure out how to get it through his thick skull that pregnancy isn't all peaches and cream. I went to this website today http://www.marchofdimes.com/pnhec/159_15245.asp and printed out the article for him to read. Any additional advice would be much appreciate. And by the way no need to tell me he is being a complete ******....I know...and I have told him as much. Again thank you for any advice you might have.

Let me explain further for those like "Lillillou" who think I am saying I don't want to do the housework....that is absolutely NOT the case, I see it as my job. I clean everything, My husband has not had to clean a single thing in the house in the past 2 years, I cook dinner every night and make sure he has something packed for lunch every day, not to mention HIS job ends on friday night, I still do all the cooking and cleaning through the weekend. My husband is a very messy person and I have no problem cleaning up after him, he even jokes that his messyness is my job security. His complaint is that I don't have everything done by the time he gets home, it takes me longer to do things lately because I am fatigued. I have no problem doing all the things I normally do, it just takes me longer than it used to. I don't feel its right for him to get angry at me because I don't get things done as fast as he thinks I should

Answer 1

Maybe take him along to your next OB appt and tell the dr how tired you've been feeling that way when he heres all the reasons that your dr gives you for feeling so tired maybe he will believe you. It's worth a try anyway I guess.

Answer 2

Take him to your next appointment and let the doctor explain the workload your body has going on 24/7 right now. There are also lots of books designed especially for the daddy to be. Look on amazon or at your local bookstore. Get him one and let him read about it. I have 17 month old twins and am 21 wks with another. You had better believe my housework has slacked off. Last night I got into a cleaning frenzy and ended up having B.H. contractions. You need to take it easy sometimes. Then, when you get those spurts of energy, do stuff then. My hubby complained about the house looking dirty ONE time. He didn't do it again. I told him if it bothered him so much that he could do it, but that I was tired. Best of luck to you.

Answer 3

I've had two pregnancies and I know it can get tiring. With my 1st I could only work a half day. I had to come home at two and take a nap. With the second I had to take a nap most days as well. However, there is no reason you can't get some work done around the house. Do a few chores and then rest for a while. You should be able to do the basics. If you can't, you should be at your doctor's office asking what is wrong.
Attitude can help a lot in a situation like this. If you wake up thinking "How can I make this person's life worth living today?", it is amazing how you will be focused on others and they in turn will be focused on you and what they can do for you.

Answer 4

I would drag him to counselling--his inability to relate to you as a wife could be a serious red flag. When baby comes, it will only get worse...in fact, the house will likely fall into disrepair unless he realizes how valuable you really are and stops harping on you.
I don't get everything done even though I wish I could (but I also work full time). I do all the housework...unless I do it, it rarely gets done. BUT, he never, ever complains. he knows if he did, I'd kick his butt.
Men think that being pregnant is just about having something in your belly---but your body will provide for the baby before it provides for you, in every case (calories, nutrients, water, etc). Add hormones on top of that, and an extra 20-30 pounds, and you're talking SERIOUS fatigue.
It's normal.
If you don't like being tired, make sure you're getting enough exercise, it may help you, it did me.

Answer 5

Being pregnant is hard enough, then you add a husband who thinks it's a cakewalk and that makes it so much worse. If you can get a hold of one of the mommy belly things do. Let him wear it just for a day and then maybe he will understand. Some pregnancies are perfect and you feel perfect the whole time, my first was so rough because I was always tired. When my husband would ask what was wrong with me I would tell him, I'm working 24 hours a day to build your child in my body. So your support would be great. Or you can just do it yourself, lol! Good luck! and congratulations!

Answer 6

ok, for one he needs to be pregnant for ONE day..lol If he had double to load at work could he get it donw all in the same time frame as he does now? doubt it. ANd that is when he feels fine not sick and all the other pregnancy stuff. You should not feel guilty. You do need this rest and it will give you a healthier baby and a healthier you. That stuff is nOt important as how your wellbeing is. First of all, I commend you for doing ALL the housework and ALL his lunch stuff. That right there is a tiring duty. He should feel lucky. He should actually get used to helping out cuz once the baby comes you will really need it. I am pregnant with my 5th and things do get behind. I am in school fulltime and try my best to do as much as possible, but that only makes me more tired and misrable. you need to redo your list of htings to do in a day. take things off and spread them out.Honestly I would have him pack his own lunch and make sure he does HIS OWN extra stuff. That is not yours to add to your load. Things only get owrse and harder once the baby comes...trust me so try to have him compromise now. I am sure he is into the old time thinking and that is fine, but he does need to understand that pregnancy is also like running a marathon. Ask him how well he would do running a marathon all day then doing double at work! good luck
Tracey

Answer 7

I have an unsupportive husband also. I've got about 4 weeks left in my pregnancy. I was tired throughout my entire pregnancy, but the past month has just been horrible. I have managed to keep myself going to work full time, but when I get home all I want to do is sleep. Luckily, my mother-in-law and sister-in-law help me with my husband. They both tell him all the time that it's noraml for me to be tired. Even though my husband has a hard time with understanding it he does help with the housework and things like that.

Answer 8

I had the same problem because I had a healthy pregnancy any time that I did get tired i was just being lazy the only thing I can suggest is having your midwife talk to him but to be honest nothing worked for me until after now he feels very bad about they way he dragged me around every where but the only thing that changed his mind was when a friend of ours got pregnant and she was one of these that was dieing at the littlest bit of acid and she was on her back and not moving she milked and cant really blame her If i were smarter I would have done the same best thing you can do is show him these answers you get he probably doesn't mean to be an ****** but men just don't get it they cant. and never will.

Answer 9

My husband was the same way with our first...he remained that way throughout. I don't know what to tell you. He has to figure it out for himself. Maybe if he goes to doctor appointments with you? Will he read any of the pregnancy books?
Mine didn't get it until I was pregnant with our second and I collapsed from low blood pressure. Then he had to help with the housework and our first child! Now he helps out and i think he appreciates what i have gone through a little more.

Hang in there. Most guys just don't get it. Try not to stress over it. It's not good for you or the baby.

Answer 10

Congratulations on the new baby.

He's not unusual. We've had three and I had to hold back the urge to say the same thing every time. It's incorrect, of course, but when there's a pregnancy in the household everyone's a little more on edge.

He's doing his best to be the provider, and that's also a lot of pressure. People act on that in different ways.

In an encouraging way, remind him that you're carrying the baby for him. Remind him of how much you love him and that you're willing to do this for him. Also, thank him for providing for the family. Men REALLY need to hear that.

He just needs a reminder that this is a wonderful thing. Once he realizes how much you're working he'll come around.

Answer 11

Ok.. I don't have a medical opinion or answer but I read this and wanted to give you an internet "hug". I am 19 weeks and have been extremely fatigued. You need to make sure that you are getting the proper rest that you need. Try not to stress about this! The most important thing right now.. is your precious baby. I will Pray for your situation! Now.. go get some rest hun...