Question for modest moms?

Question

Hi ladies, I am almost 35 weeks pregnant, and thinking about who I want in the room with me when I have my little girl. It's a given that I want my fiance, the father there with me. But I am unsure about my mother. I am a very modest person ( I don't even really like to have sex with my fiance during the day, or with the lights on) I was wondering how some of you felt? What did you end up doing? And did you have any regrets?

My mom and I are very close, and I really would like her to be there, but I am concerned that I will be uncomfortable. Help me please!

Wow, I never expected so many great answers, thanks everyone!

Answer 1

Well, you can have your Mom there, and let her know before hand that you are a bit shy about it all, and you don't want her to actually LOOK. Just be at the top of the bed, and hold your hand and help support you that way :-)

Answer 2

Well i was very modest until it came time for my son to come into the world. When you are in pain like that, the last thing your thinking of is covering yourself up. You will have nurses and doctors checking you dilation frequently so that will be no longer private property haha. You are giving birth. It is a painful, yet the most beautiful experiance a woman will go through. Some women get back to their primitive roots by labouring and birthing naked. I did and let me tell you, it felt so much better than having a hospital gown strangling you.

Explain to your mother your confusion. You want her there yet you dont want her to see "you". Truth be told i didnt even notice my mother was there and i was hanging out for all to see. Dont worry about what you mother will think if thats what concerns you. She will see her daughter at the strongest a woman can be. She could very well be remembering your birth during this time and want to help you the best she can. Good Luck and try not stressing about it hun!!

Answer 3

You won't care. You will have better things to be doing! Invite her along. If you are uncomfortable when you undress, you can ask her to wait in the hall or lounge. The nurses will probably be very kind about keeping you covered with a blanket or sheet.

I WAS a very shy, modest, and self-conscious person. (I haven't worn shorts or a short skirt in more than a decade. I'm 22 yrs old!)

Then I realized I was totally naked in from of a few strangers (midwife and nurses) and I didn't care at all. Now I'm breastfeeding and don't even bother with a cover-up blanket half the time when my friends or family are around.

(This was after 3 months of weekly pelvic exams and 10 hospital stays which involved MANY more pelvic exams. At some point, you stop caring. I realized this after having a pelvic exam with my Mom AND Dad in the room!)

Giving birth can do amazing things for shy people :)

Answer 4

I am the same way, very shy about things like that. I have never been very close to my mom that way, but I found that I felt different during my pregnancy cuz I could relate to her more, and we had something in common. I definitely wanted my baby's father there, and my mom, and that was it. During that time, you will hardly be concerned about things you normally would be, you kind of lose a little bit of your shyness cuz you have no choice! I was grateful to have my mom there, as she was more of a comfort than my bf! I don't regret it at all. I think if you and your mother are close like you say you are, and you already want her there, then go for it if your fiance is ok with it.

Answer 5

Well I too am very modest. My first pregancy I was by myself (the father was out of the picture) my mom and aunt were in the room with me. The agreed before hand that there were to by the head of the bed and they did just that. Thank God.
My second and third pregnancy i was married and my husband was the only one in the room because I didn't want my MIL or anyone else is there. Again I asked my husband to stay at the head of the bed but he kinda peeked because all the nurses were like look here comes the baby and he got all excited. I haven't held it against him.
Just talk to who ever you want in there and make your feelings known.
I was also there for my best friends' delivery and we too had a pact not to look. Even when the nurses and doctor were saying look look I said I respecting my friends wishes JUST DELIVER THE 10 POUND BABY ALREADY... LOL
Just take your time and enjoy this time.
Good Luck and Congrats

Answer 6

Both of my parents were in the delivery room when I had my son. I was a bit weirded out at the thought of my father being there, but, honestly, when the time came, I really couldn't have cared less. I just wanted it to be OVER.
We are a fairly modest family, and I have no memory of ever seeing either of my parents undressed, so the whole giving birth thing was kind of creepy. My dad's a maniac, though - took pictures the whole time (my mother made him erase then from the camera)...he was so excited to be there for his first grandchild's arrival.
In the end, you won't regret having your mom there - she's carry that memory in her heart forever. My father loves to tell my son the story of the day he was born, how he was there, etc....

Answer 7

First off, it is your mother and if yall get along that good then she should be in the room with you. Secondly, you are going to be going through to much and only be thinking about having that baby to feel a bit uncomfortable.

Now my experiences, I had my first baby when I was 19, told the doctor several several times that I just wanted my mom and the baby's dad in the room and she said that was fine. Well while I was having my baby I was so out of it I didn't know much of what was going on. I later found out that everyone I knew was in the room, family that I had wanted nothing at all to do with ever, my brothers and their friends, all kinds of people, that that was uncomfortable as heck when I found that out. I think the doctor for giving me my wishes when I was having my baby, I can tell you I did NOT go back to her to have my last two kids.

Answer 8

I'm also VERY modest, but I ended up having my mother-in-law in there with me. I'm a little embarrassed now, but at the time her in there was the farthest thing from my mind, believe me! I would have had my mom in there, too, even though I would have been uncomfortable, but the doctor wanted to limit the number of people in the delivery room. Whether or not you regret it, you have to make sure you have everything the way YOU want it so you'll be comfortable. I do not regret having my mother-in-law in there, but I do regret not having my mom. If you're that close with your mom, you'll probably regret not having her in there. Also, she could stand behind you and help you concentrate on breathing and such. Good luck to you!

Answer 9

I was the same way just about 1 year ago when I gave birth to my son. I only wanted my husband with me, no one else needs to see my "stuff". At least that's how I felt. I had additional pressure because my mom had been at my sisters 3 births, and I didn't want to offend her. Let me tell you how glad I was that she was there!!
First, you will not care who is in the room with you, or who has their hands where. It turns out that having my mom there was a great pressure reliever for myself and my husband. My labor was 18 hours, no medication so I needed lots of support. You my dear, will have hormones and other other ways to get you through, your fiancee will not, so accept the help and support from your mom, if only for your fiancee, she knows what it's like, and will know (probably best) how to help you. I have to add that my younger sister ended up being at the birth of my son which was NOT expected at all. She wasn't prepared to be there, and I was not prepared to have her standing by my feet.
But it turns out that at that moment, I was too busy to really care, and she was so caught up in the moment of the miracle of birth, that she says that it was the most amazing thing that she could have ever been a part of. And that was totally by accident. She has such a special connection with me, and my son now. If your mom is willing, you will need her. Good luck!

Answer 10

Once you're actually IN the labor/delivery room, you won't even think about it.
I was VERY shy before I had my first child.(I mean...VERY SHY...i couldn't even talk to people without getting nauseous)
But when I was in labor I had at least 20 people going in and out of the room...my fiance's whole family...his mom, dad, stepmom, 12 year old brother & sister, his twin and his gf,his grandma, his aunt & uncle, some of our friends (mostly male at that), some of HIS friends, my mom....
and all the while the nurses are coming in and pulling my legs up & doing exams. Everybody saw everything.
I thought i'd be mortified, but it didn't bother me one bit.
I think maybe it's because during labor, it's not a vagina anymore...it's a birth canal. So it's not as weird.

Just tell your mom you want her there but you're kind of shy and ask if she could leave if it gets to be too much for you. I'm sure she'll understand...she's been through childbirth too.

Answer 11

I am also modest about that sort of thing.

I had my ex at my head and our parents in the waiting room. At one point after my epidural I had fallen asleep and I awoke to find my x mother in law in the room with me (she was the only one). Birth was imminent as I woke from the pressure of the baby coming down. The doctor rushed in and I looked at her and told her "no offense but you must leave.. right now" before I would even allow the blanket to be lifted.

I don't regret that for a second. I've seen my sister giving birth- my whole family was there and honestly I found it very odd.