what do you think the chance is that he has cheated?

Question

when my husband and i first met he was sleeping with me and my sister. he had told us both not to tell any one we were sleeping with him. being close we told each other not knowing the other was sleeping with him. i ended up pregnant, he and i are now married. i have cheated 2 times he says he has never and never would. I have had a mutual friend tell me that he thought my husband was cheating. the friend had nothing to gain or loose. my husband told our friend to not come around us any more, saying he lied. now my husband and i have an almost non existant sex life and we have nothing in common. what do you think about this/

my husband knows that i cheated. i told him from the start that if i ever cheated i would tell him. and i was 17 when i got with him.

Answer 1

If the friend had nothing to gain or lose, I would certainly take his warning to heart and at least investigate. If you`ve cheated twice before, he probably knows about you too!

Answer 2

I think he is a rotten guy for sleeping with you and your sister in the first place. You two might not have known, but he more than likely did...that was wrong of him.
Secondly if the only reason your married him is because you ended up pregnant, you were wrong in doing that.
He was seeing two people at the same time when you married him i.e. you and your sister.
If he has banned a friend because they told you he was cheating...and now you don't have sex at all...chances are that he is cheating.
Deal with it or leave him. You can either talk and try to work it out...the best thing to do...but it still might not work.
You can decide to stay and live with it or leave him.
The main thing is a trust has been broken and you doubt him or you would not be asking this question. Do you want to live like that the rest of your life?
If not, then do something about it.

be cool...

Answer 3

Every situation in a marriage is unique. You say you have cheated 2 times. In your heart, I'm sure you know the answer to if he has or not. Understanding that the sex is not the only thing that makes a solid relationship/marriage, how do you spend your time together. Do you enjoy being together? Do you even spend time together? What did you have in common and enjoy about each other before you got married? Most importantly, are you happy? I can't comment on what might be going on with him, you or your relationship. What I can say is that it seems that you both have some things you need to work out. If you both feel that the marriage is worth saving, try counseling. If you ask yourself, "Why did I marry this person?" and you can't come up with a real answer, then you may start thinking about what changes you can make in your life to make you happy. Bottom line, if you decide to go to counseling, both parties have to be willing in order for it to even have a chance to work. Think about you personally before you think about the "us" factor. If it's not good for you, it's not good for anyone. Give yourself a happy life. And good luck.

Answer 4

I don't have to think. I KNOW you and this jerk have no idea what a marriage even is! Unfortunately, you have a child. Unfortunately for the child ONLY, cause payback is gonna be a b------.

He is definitely cheating and you are definitely getting a divorce within the next 1 to 2 years.

You think you can say in a proud way, that you only cheated twice. WHAT THE HELL IS THE MATTER WITH YOU!

You know nothing about love and no idea on how to be a wife and mother with a real man, oh but you do know how to have sex. WOW, how cool are you?

Get a life idiot! It's time to grow up. You are obviously choosing to learn the hard way.

Answer 5

Karma is a b*tch! You cheated twice and you expect him to what? Forgive you and be 100% faithful to you? Please! When are people going to learn? What goes around comes around! Even if your "friend" had nothing to gain or lose from you and your husband splitting, maybe he's just a messed up un-happy person who would like nothing more that to see you un-happy too! Or maybe he really did see him cheat! The point is, maybe you should learn to forgive and forget or get away from this marriage! What kind of childhood will your kids have in a marriage like this? Think of your children and your future before staying in a broken marriage! If I may, my opinion would be that yes, your husband is seeing someone else. I think it's more than physical though. It's possible that he has feelings for someone else. But believe me when I say that men ALWAYS want sex so if he's not getting any from you, he's getting it from someone! GooD LucK with this and next time you think about getting married think about STAYING faithful!

Answer 6

I would have to agree with that sounds like you are in a rocky position.
My husband and i are a similar situation.. not very good sex life but I think that comes sometimes with kids and a busy lifestyle.
I would suggest maybe marriage counseling or if the two of you are open just talk it out it is amazing what partners will not tell each other just because they don't think it is important. it is hard to know if he has or hasn't cheated on you. If he says no then take his word for it it is a tough spot to be in.
Counseling is a great way to open up communication.

Answer 7

LOL, you said your husband has never cheated, and never would, but he's already done so with you and your sister. The only reason why you found out about this is because your sister told you who she was sleeping with and you told her. After that was disclosed, you purposely got pregnant so that you'd have the upper hand on your sister to keep him nd now you're in this Jerry Springer episode in which you don't know what to do about it. You have nothing in common but sex and the child will eventually suffer because of your trifling butt....and your husband too.

Answer 8

you all are so immature and need to doing some growing up. You should have never married him to begin with, if he was doing you and your sister at the same time, you don't have to be a rocket scientist to figure out he was and still is a cheater and you were too. I think you guys got married because of the baby which was a mistake from the beginning. You all need to try to get some counseling and if that doesn't work you need to end it

Answer 9

ok sweetie, your marriage is not doomed to my opinion. i understand where you are coming from. if i were you i would talk to him about your relationship, and your sexual relationship. if you cheated twice then he must've did something wrong that made you not want him. and if you are suspecting him of cheating then talk to him about it. and don't listen to the other people on here that are demeaning you. if he was sleeping with both of you at the same time and you didn't know, then it's not your fault, he's just a player to do that. and alot of guys are like that. if it doesn't work out then he just wasn't the one, but if you end it together you will find someone that will be the world to you. but don't let peolpe on here put you down, they don't even know you. your probably a sweet person and they just don't know it!

Answer 10

How many more ways can one possibly screw up one's life!!! You are worried about your husband (and I use that term loosely) cheating when you are the cheater. You both have no clue what it means to be in a committed relationship. I am so sorry for your child.