My friend who is 18 has started seeing a 37 year old man, just wondered how others would feel. I don't think she is the most mature 18 year old and at the moment i want to hang him up by the .....! Any advice.......
2007-04-17 00:37:59 · 40 answers · asked by wavebreakin 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
To be honest she's only just told me, i don't know much about the guy other than they want to move in together, i'm actually her sis in law, but i wanted to see what people thought before i tell her bro, i know he's going to hit the roof.
2007-04-17 00:50:29 · update #1
Unfortunately, this is a situation that you can't do much, except relay how you feel to your friend. She is going to do what she wants to do regardless of what others think.
If you cannot get through to her about how this is a situation that can (and probably will) end in heartbreak, then as a friend, it is your duty to support her decision and stand by her. Be ready to "pick up the peices" as they say.
Of course, it is also your duty as a friend, since you are uncomfortable with this, to relay to Mr. 37, that if he hurts her you will hang him up by the ........!
I wish you and your friend the best of luck. Who knows, maybe he is a really good guy, and they fall in love and get married.
I hope I helped.
2007-04-17 00:47:41 · answer #1 · answered by jninjacash31 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
hmmmm - well I suppose legally she IS an adult - but that is a rather large agegap and what a man of that age has in common with an 18 year old baffles me!!! I think this relationship could be a scenario of middle aged man enjoying having a nice young bit of eye candy on his arm
Personally - I think the age gap is too much - she should be out having fun with friends her own age.
I know that if I arrived home with someone that age when I was 18 my two brothers and my parents would have torn stips off me and banned me from seeing him- full stop - end of story.
Of course theres the option that he could be a genuinely nice guy that does care a lot about her- but with the law of relativities it somehow seems unlikely. She could be taken with the fact that a 37 year old male will have a lot more in life than men her own age - money and security are probably attracting her to this man - 18 is an impressionable age - and dating older men is now made to appear so attractive by hollywood...
I dont see this ending happy - hope she works that out soon enough!
xx
2007-04-17 02:19:52 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all, I don't think it's your place to tell her brother - it's HER place! Of course, you should tell her that you don't want to be in the position of hiding it from him - so if she doesn't tell him you will.
It's a difficult one because it depends very much on the people involved. The guy could be a 'dirty old man' and she could be naive. But on the other hand, they could have genuine feelings for each other.
I'm 22 and my boyfriend is 35 (that's a 13 year age gap, compared to their 19 year one). I know for a fact that he isn't some pervy guy who just wants a young girl on his arm - we just click. We've been together for 3 years and it's very serious.
But of course, 18 is much younger than 22 in the sense that she is still a teenager. Having said that, I dated someone 9 years older than me when I was 16! And when I was 19, my boyfriend was 11 years older! And it was never a problem.
I think you should let her live her life. Who she chooses to go out with is her business really, and there's no reason for her brother to hit the roof. Maybe you and her brother need to meet this guy in person and suss him out before you judge him?
As long as he's not married or her teacher, they're not doing anything wrong.
If he's just using her for a bit of 'young fun', she'll realise soon enough. But she has to make her own mistakes.
I say leave her to it! It's nobody's business but hers!
xx Emmie
2007-04-17 02:31:51 · answer #3 · answered by Sparklepop 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
At 18 I think that she should be dating guys her own age rather than such an older man, but that's what I think. At 18, your friend is also an adult and more than likely she's going to do what she wants to do regardless of what you or anybody else thinks so my advice would be to stand by your friend's side. If her relationship with this man doesn't last then she will need her friend to comfort her and help her get through this ordeal. Don't run off and tell her parents or other siblings because if you rat her out, chances are she is going to pull away from you and everybody else and still continue to see this man. There really isn't much you can do, I'm sorry I wish there was. This is just something your friend is going to go through and hopefully it won't last long.
2007-04-17 00:46:35 · answer #4 · answered by debbie_75052 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Whoa way too long of a story, however I can tell you that at 19 your sister is an adult and if she wants to be involved with a 37 year old man that is HER business and her right to do so as an adult. The fact that you and your mother "covered" for her while she visited her boyfriend was YOUR fault not her's. If your father divorces your mother because your ADULT sister is involved with a 37 year old man then obviously they should never have gotten married to begin with. It is up to no one else to decide whether her involvement with this man is right or wrong, it is her life, she is an adult. If you don't want to look at her any longer then don't...but don't blame her for the choices that YOU make. You have no right to be angry, or hurt for that matter, it isn't YOUR life it is hers and it is her choice to make, not your's not your mother's not your father's.
2016-05-17 07:22:53 · answer #5 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She`s 18 and he`s 37 - i bet he wants her to move in with him as well ! I would run him out a town so fast his feet wouldn`t touch the floor ! Tell the brother asap before it goes any further. I hate men like that who take advantage of youngsters. Well he`s not a man - he`s an insult to men ! The family really need to apply some pressure here before this guy gets a firm hold on her, and you have a serious talk with this girl !
2007-04-17 02:22:11 · answer #6 · answered by yahoobloo 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Why not have a dinner at your home and tell your husband that his sister is bringing her new boyfriend for them to meet.
Have him hold all comments and accusations until he has seen them together. After they have left you and your husband can discuss the evening. But what your sister-in-law does is totally up to her. He may be as in-mature as she is. As long as he has a job and they love each other, it's their business.
Your husband may lose his sister for ever if he sticks his nose in too deep.
2007-04-17 01:02:12 · answer #7 · answered by MKM 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry, it's her own choice and everything yeah, I know. But if my little sister starts dating a 37 year old man, there's going to be hell to pay. Some things are just not going to fly...
And I don't even want to KNOW what my Mom and Dad would do...
2007-04-17 00:43:35 · answer #8 · answered by Rax 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
There is nothing you can do, my lil sis of 18 dated a man of similar age and there was an uproar in the family, she is now 25 and still with him and they have a beautiful daughter and are happy...
My dad still can't bring himself to talk to him, he feels this man has robbed his lil girl of so much...the rest of us just put up with him, nothing we can do, if we cut him out then we're cutting her out and none of us want that.....etc etc
2007-04-17 00:43:30 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
depends what 37 year old he is, he could be a wonderful man who will encourage her to make the most of her life, or he could be just wanting to settle down and have kids! by which way she will have 2-3 kids by the time she is 21 and by 25 single and 'stuck' with the kids. what type of man is he??
2007-04-17 00:41:30 · answer #10 · answered by Ri 2 · 0⤊ 2⤋