If you told your husband early in your relationship that you would never be a with a drug user, and he understood and agreed never to use drugs, then started using drugs 2 years after you were married, and told you he would never stop, no matter what you thought, would you leave him?
2007-04-16 22:20:26 · 28 answers · asked by BobTheBlazer 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
If that is your morals and your way of life and you told him that is what you want. I would move on. He has stated that he would Never Stop. I think, chances are he was doing them in the beginning and you didn't know. Think about this... while he's getting hooked or already hooked, where is the money going? I've lived with a drug addict and you can never have anything in life. If and when the habit grows, you will see less and less of him, nasty attitudes, dishonesty, they will do ANYTHING for the drug and you have your own health to think about. Depending on the drug, it get worst then that. I have morals and standards for my life too. I would just tell him, although you don't like drugs, but you love him, you too have a choice of what you want in your life and it was unfair that he try to place this in your life. Tell him... you're not trying to change him, because he made his choice and now your choice is not to be in this environment. Save yourself. You can not help that you was not enough to abstain him. I hope you don't have kids, that is a big reason to get them out of there.
2007-04-16 22:50:23 · answer #1 · answered by Go GO Ressa 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Honestlly, two years is a long time. If you love each other than you really need to talk with him a little more and find out what the reason was that he began using in the first place? Has he been using for long enough to be addicted? Does he love you? And if he does would he be willing to seek treatment if you promise to support him? Once addicted to a drug people go into denial, they can't picture life without the drug no matter what they have to lose in the process. That is the addict talking. My husband and I were heavy drug users when we got together. The first 5 years of our lives together we used. I got sober, he didn't. Neither one of us was willing to throw away our years together and I went through so much. Being an addict myself it was so hard to stay sober under the circumstances. But I did and supported him and picked him up when fell. We are now in our 17th year together and have both been sober for over 10 years. If I had left him like I wanted to in the begining, I would have missed out on such a wonderful love. It takes hard work and dedication on both of your parts. If this man means anything at all to you, stick it out to the end. He will come around.
2007-04-16 22:45:40 · answer #2 · answered by lily_florance 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I dated my husband for 6 months and he left me for another woman and drugs. I never stopped loving him while we were apart and eventually he came running back all coked up. After we got back together he still continued to use and I just told him that I couldnt be with someone who was on drugs. He told me that he only used on special occasions and so I said everyday must be a special occasion. About 3 months later he stopped using and never picked it up again that was 6 years ago. If you really love your husband stand beside him and help him through this. Apparently something must have come up for him to start using. Maybe he has a problem he needs to talk about. Be with him in his time of need and help him see what using is going to do to him. If times get too bad then that is when it is time to go. Maybe after you leave he will understand what this is doing to you and himself.
2007-04-17 02:23:06 · answer #3 · answered by who me 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He knew the circumstances before he started using and still he started so either..
1. He is trying to find a way to make you leave without actually saying it.
2. He was using all along and just better at hiding it because he cared what you thought and no longer does. Or
3. He really wants help and has to much pride to say it.
So my advice is to ask him if he has used more often than you know about and if he wants to quit with your help. And if he isn't responsive to that question than I would leave.
2007-04-17 02:02:09 · answer #4 · answered by Trisha 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It would depend what kind of drugs. If they were drugs that were going to make him sick or dependant, then I think I probably would, if he was determined never to stop.
Pretty much all drugs will have an impact on your mental capacity if used long term, so if he's determined to use them forever then I'd say he doesn't care about his own health and that is not fair on you.
The fact that he began using is a problem, but at least he's not trying to hide it. If he at least were willing to try to stop, there would be hope.
2007-04-16 22:23:00 · answer #5 · answered by Lineya 4 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Yes. Either I'd leave or he'd be gone. All he's going to do is suck down every bit of money you have, and destroy your life and the lives of your children. Get out.
Let me add this in, he has a new love of his life, and it's not you and it's not another woman. He has drugs. They are all he needs, and they are obviously more important that you are or he'd get help.
2007-04-16 22:23:36 · answer #6 · answered by Kaia 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
with new drug enforcement laws nowadays, you better get out or at least turn him into authorities for his good andyours. Authorities are now allowed to confiscate house and property of users if they believe they are pushing too. Nothing good could ever come out of this by staying with him so it may be time to move on before you lose everything to his stupidity and lies. Your choice and good luck
2007-04-16 22:31:44 · answer #7 · answered by Arthur W 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Wow....am a guy but really if I ws a lady, I would have hope that one day he will go for Detox,
I really wouldn't live him.......this is a laove of a life time we are talking about right.......in sickness and in health.....I thk taking drugs is an addictive sickness....NO I WOULD NOT LIVE HIM.
2007-04-16 22:26:28 · answer #8 · answered by Andy mark 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
YES! Apparently the drugs mean more to him than his family. Has he been in treatment for his abuse? Maybe that would be an option for him, but for you, I would be gone.
2007-04-17 03:51:58 · answer #9 · answered by Special K 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is nothing you can do for him. He must do it on his own. I am in the same boat, and had to leave my wife that I love so much. it is the hardest thing I have ever done. move on be well. nothing good can come from his drug use. I had hoped that she would stop if I left her. she just says I am selfish. good luck. please, be well.
2007-04-16 22:24:16 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋