Have women turned men into being less gentlemanly? If so, why do we get mad at them for not being such?

Question

With all the hoopla women in recent years have made about being able to do for themselves, why do women get mad when men dont open doors for them or make a simple little compliment and turn it into sexual harassment? Can you have it both ways? Have we scared them into a central way of thinking about all of us?

Answer 1

Here's a link that will explain what has happened.

http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=AkAPR.DZt2SqS4pj7P33.M_sy6IX?qid=20070416162735AAU1fhQ&show=7#profile-info-95b4d2469a49ccedb4f39c9350f941a9aa

You will read that (many) feminists demand to be "treated socially exactly like a man." After all, feminism is all about equality between men and women.

Some insist that you NOT open her door unless you would do the same for a man. According to (many) feminists, women and men are equal and should be treated the same.

This message has gotten through loud and clear,

So, they've gotten what theyv'e asked for - for themselves and possibly inadvertently for non-feminist women as well.

EDIT: ecogeek4ever:

Fiction? Rio Madeira, Gypsy Whitemoon, and carrie_p83 all DETEST "chivalry."

And, personally, I respect that they apply the principle of equality consistently, even when it might seem advantageous to suspend it.

How can you pick and chose when you want to be equal and when you want to be given "special treatment?"

EDIT II: KA1227:

So, the "principle of equality" is suspended under certain circumstances?

Is the the "equality card" played only when it's convenient?

That reasoning causes some (e.g. me) to lack respect for feminism as insincere in demanding equality.

How 'bout we all decide to pick and chose when we think men and women should be equal?

Lastly, does this special treatment end after the dating period (aka marriage)?

Answer 2

There is such a thing as courtesy and both females and males should be practicing this at all times. I open doors for everyone and anything. I give up my seat for pregnant women, elderly men and women and anyone with children. I don't need compliments from men and I don't give them because YES this can be construed and in many cases rightfully so as sexual harassment. Treat others the way you want yourself or you daughters or sons to be treated and everyone will be happy.

Answer 3

I am a feminist and I enjoy it when the guy I am dating opens doors for me, yeah I can do it myself but he is old fashioned and I like that about him. I think the idea that feminists hate it when men act "gentlemanly" is complete fiction. Just because one group of feminists have said this doesn't mean that is how all of them feel. Thinking back over the years I believe that all the men I dated (and many friends) have all opened doors for me... so that makes me think that it is a minority of men who refuse to act "gentlemanly" due to fear of being reprimanded by the "evil feminist".
As far as sexual comments vs. "a simple little comment" I would have to judge that on what the little comment was. Are you using a true life example?

Answer 4

I don't give a s**t if men hold doors open or not! I think everyone should be polite in turn, regardless of their gender. If I get to the door first I hold it, if another person (male or female) gets their first and holds it for me that's just fine. Just good manners that all people should adopt.

Answer 5

Once again, the actions of a few have been assumed to represent many.

I look at it this way: A dating environment has different rules than all other social settings. Two people on a date should extend to each other different courtesies than one would apply in daily life. It is what makes your date feel special, and a date is a special event.
For men today, I suppose that means getting to know your date's position on chivalry, rather than assuming it is expected, as in the past.
For women today, I suppose it means being gracious if your date behaves in a chivalric manner and tactfully explaining your views on it if you are offended by it or opposed to it.

For any other situation, general courtesies can and should be applied equally, regardless of gender. Hold the door if you get there first, or if the person nearby has their arms full.

EDIT@Steve: I prefaced my statement by stating that a dating environment carries different rules than all other settings because date is a *special occasion* - on special occasions we bring out special clothes and special behavior.

Do you behave the same way at a funeral or a wedding as you do in everyday life? Of course not - these are also special occasions and warrant a different type of behavior than everyday life. Please keep in mind, I am consistent in expecting BOTH males and females exhibit this special behavior on a special occasion. Is that not equal? Note that I described expected behavior from each gender on a date.... the specific behavior is different, but the expectation of special behavior is the same.

Of course, I am in the "different but equal" camp if you refer to your question of how to define equality. ( I never got around to answering that one.) Men and women ARE different, but they can DO almost all of the same things.
1+4 = 5, 2+3 = 5 Different, but equal.

Oh, and to answer your question about after marriage: On special occasions, the spouses are expected to exhibit special behavior. In everyday life general courtesies are extended regardless of gender. (Am I repeating myself? )

Answer 6

Why does a woman wear make-up and look pretty, to get the best possible mate, Serously, if a man with a huge beard crawled out of a swamp clutching a dead tiger would you mate with him, of course not you would mate with the well groomed man in the corner.

Answer 7

The "hoopla," as you refer to it, was only really prevalent in the 70's. These days, it's died out. A lot of us claim not to need that stuff, but still like it. On the other hand, I don't need it, and I despise it.

Answer 8

I hold the door open for Whom ever I choose to, because I choose to do so without the express permission of any other entity on this or any other planet. End of section!

Answer 9

Yeah! I mean what's with this girls nowadays. Some girl actually opened the door for me, and I had to say thank you. I felt really uncomfortable. What's with that? Is it their turn to be gentlemanly? Is it my girly eyelashes? Damn, I hate my long thick eyelashes.

Answer 10

I dont care for opening doors or anything. You get back what you put in. I still get doors opened for me, but dont get mad when you dont open the door and I treat you like a real scrub because I know I could do it all alone. Men have accepted these changes through the years in society that is why women push for their independence. Maybe you all can accept picking up after yourselves, cooking, and whacking your own peter off as well ;).....