Worried bout my sister?

Question

Hey this is Will, the other 1/2 of the "Kotonii & Will" YA account (see profile). this is about my twin sister Court (Kotonii).

She suffered depression about a year ago when people who were supposed to be friends asked this guy out for her when she didn't like him. It ruined her whole reputation at school and it wasn't until her friend, (who has been depressed before), told her that it "doesn't matter who she is, she just needs to know that she's a confident, intelligent and caring person and she shouldn't care about what others say" that she decided that being a pessimest wouldn't work anymore. Gradually she got better. Until yesterday, she caught her Boyf cheating on her with his ex!! It broke her heart when they talked later and he said that he never liked her and that she was an ugly, retarded person and that she should die. I really want to help her because she's ALWAYS been there for me, and i would feel really bad for the rest of my life if i couldn't help her.

BTW, that's my sis in the avatar. i wouldn't let her put me in there. I'm her twin Bro. I just wanted to clear that up coz it might seem a bit weird that a guy has a girls pic there. This is our shared YA account.

I live in Australia, so really the masscre isn't something that really worries me, because no1 in my family lives in America. and it's not sadness, i know my sister TOO well. it is NOT sadness. I wouldnt say things like that about her either because you don't know her like i do, so if your going to give advice, than give it, don't say that these things are b/s. i'm sure you'd be worried too if the person you've been the closest to your whole life and has helped you through the hard times without a care for themself was suddenly like this.

To CheifTokemPole.

1. thats disgusting.
2. if you had bother to read the question fully, you'd know that i'm her twin BROTHER, thats her in the avatar.
3. We're 12 turning 13, so wouldnt that be illegal for you to be saying stuff like that.

Answer 1

you do know that there are REAL problems out there have her pick up the news paper and read about the 33 people killed at Virginia Tech University, or read about the countless young men and women dying in Iraq or better yet what about the AIDS crisis in Africa or starving children all over the world.... Its not depression its typical teenager b/s.
The only problem your sister has is that she is SELF CENTERED and needs to realize the world doesnt rotate around Kotonii & Will

Answer 2

You are both very young, too young really to have boyfriends/girlfriends. You are burdening yourself with things that should come later in life when you know more and have more experience in dealing with the emotions and heartaches that come with it.

That said, your sister needs to realize that her boyfriends words to her were not true. Her boyfriend probably felt guilty and ashamed that he was "caught". He is not mature enough to know what he wants or how to end something he doesn't want. That is why he said the things that he said.
He probably didn't even mean what he said, he just felt cornered and came out fighting.
Your sister also needs to realize that his opinion doesn't matter. He is not worth worrying about, because he has proven that he is less than an ideal person to have an opinion of her. He would never be a true friend or he wouldn't have said or done what he did. It is HIS problem that he doesn't like her, it is HIS problem that he doesn't have a good opinion of her. It is not her problem that he has negative thoughts or emotions.
The only opinion of her that matters is, first and foremost, her own. She knows who and what she is. Then the opinions of her family and true friends may be considered. It sounds as though she has some wise and caring family and friends. Hold on to that and no one else matters.

Answer 3

Tell your sis not to worry. This guy, this boyfriend, sorry, EXboyfriend of hers, is a complete slime ball. To say those things to her was absolutely aweful!

Tell your sis how beautiful she is and then go knock the guy's lights out tomorrow. Wait, I shouldn't advise that as an adult to a minor, but heck, it's what I would do and this guy clearly deserves it!

Ultimately, this is something your sister needs to go through. I'm pretty sure that just about every female goes through something like this. It will make her stronger and it won't hurt for too long, it's adolescent behaviors. If you're really worried about her depression, speak to your parents in a way that doesn't cause them to freak out or embarass her. Maybe just tell them that she's been having some hard times recently with boys and social situations and you're worried that her self-esteem is at stake. Ask them if there's anything they can do to cheer her up, like a surprise slumber party they would allow - a chance to have the girls around her in an all-night crazy girl way that would annoy the heck out of the folks but probably do wonders for her happiness.

Other than that, just be there for her. It seems to me that you're a pretty good brother and friend... and that's probably exactly what she needs right now so keep on being that for her!

Answer 4

Your profile says that you both are 12 years old. That is a really difficult time in the developing stage because you are not quite teens and you are very vulnerable. Unfortunately, your emotions are real and intense but you have not yet learned how to take what others say and put it in perspective. You can have your buttons pushed very easily and are really concerned about what a boyfriend or girlfriend thinks of you.

The boyfriend probably did not know how to break up with her, so he went on the offensive and insulted and hurt her rather than own up to his own weaknesses. Most of the time when someone attacks a person this way it is all about them, not about the person they attacked. For example, a friend got mad at me for getting him a hamburger, yelling at me that I always get hamburgers. The argument was not really about hamburgers. He had had a really bad day and was upset about what happened to him and didn't know how to deal with it.

A good way to help would be to find a neutral group of your peers that talks about feelings and that has a leader (teacher, parent, counselor, or religious leader) who can facilitate the discussions and help you to develop strategies to deal with those feelings and with the things you describe in your question.

Answer 5

First, don't listen to cvegas' answer. While depression is classified as an actual disease due to an imbalance of seratonin levels in the brain, it is DEFINITELY legitimate to everyday trials in life! That's why people who have not been depressed before, suddenly become depressed after the loss of someone close to them, or in your sister's case, a degrading boyfriend. And no one's problems are illigitimate, as I have a firm belief that we all have to deal with our problems, no matter how small they may seem to someone else, they are big enough to cause us some level of distress when we are the ones dealing with it. With that said, I will also continue to answer your situation.
Spend time with your sister somewhere that she wants to be at. Make her feel important and beautiful. She probably needs a break from the romance scene for now. I'm sure she's a beautiful, bright young lady and it's unfortunate that she had such a jerk-off for a boyfriend. He has no right to say those things to her, and she needs to realize that he's stupid, immature, and definitely not a man. She need not sell herself short, because she deserves the very best! Maybe you could make her feel better by taking her out to get a full makeover? That's something most girls feel better about themselves after having. Get her hair all done up, nails done, a massage, a facial, makeup, maybe a new outfit and then after that, go out on the town. Spend quality time with her. She'll feel better about herself, and I'm sure another guy will look her way and even if she decides not to act on it, she'll feel more confident that someone noticed her. If you have the money, dish it out for a day for her. I'm not saying money buys happiness, in the least, but she was totally trashed by her boyfriend and told she was ugly,...make her feel beautiful for a day...where she can look in the mirror and see it for herself!! Good luck!
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oh...i just found out you guys are 13...probably not able to do all that stuff I suggested. Sorry...would have been good for someone older...a suggestion for the future...? In any case, make her feel important, beautiful and special.

Answer 6

Well, I was reading the first few answers that were here, and although there is massacre shootings going on in the U.S. and other tragedies in the world. People don't seem to realize that we have tragedies with in our own worlds.
So the fact that you care enough about your twin sister to ask the advice of those people here on yahoo answers shows that you really are concerned about your twin sister welfare.
It is sad that people can become so ruthless and say the things that they say.
Words do hurt, and so does that fact that your sister is hurting also, due to the comments made to her.
Let her know that not everyone is like that. and that there are those who genuinely care about others.
when one person is hurt by anothers comments or actions. then it hurts more then just one person. but it causes a ripple affect like that of a stone dropped in water. the ripples are the affects of that inserted gesture of pain.
all you can really do is try to stop the ripple from becoming bigger,
let her know that she is not at all any of those things that was said to her.
let her know that she is valued in your life and others.
that she is important and your glad that she is your twin sister and that you wouldn't want anyone else to feel those shoes. let her know that she is loved, even by people that don't eve know her.. like me.

Answer 7

The only thing worse than being her & feeling as bad as she does right now, is being on the outside seeing her & feeling you can't do anything to help ! WELL, YOU CAN.

For ANYONE to tell you that you are an ugly, retarded person & you should die.... is beyond human words !!!!!!!!.
Short of going over to this subhumans personal space, & knocking him back into his pre-sperm state.....>which If I were you, I would have highly have considered this option... if it were my sister.
But, since I will not stand here & preach or condone violence to you.....
Do your upmost best to make her feel as important as possible. Keep her away from negative friends & family, this will only fuel everything this bf told her & makes her feel is the truth. The more positive energy she has in her life, will help her forget all about this, and make her stronger.

Answer 8

Tell her the same things she was told before. She doesn't need anyone to qualify her virtues. This jerk is just taking the cowards way out and trying to make her hate him. The idiot probably thinks he's even doing her a favor. He'll probably come crawling back and say he didn't mean what he said but who cares? I wouldn't pee on him if his guts were on fire. Just be there for her as much as you possibly can but give her her space if she asks for it. Maybe, when the time is right, you might even be able to fix her up with someone you KNOW to be a decent guy, and don't be afraid to give your opinions of future guys she picks (tactfully of course). Try asking her to help you with things and then tell her how much you appreciate her and her help(just don't be obvious about it). Ask her for her advice. keep her moving forward. Good luck brother.

Answer 9

To know you are there for her, that will be her greatest comfort. She needs some time to get over this, and she needs you to be there for her all the time, 24/7, and let her know that you're there all the time, you'll never get sick of her or annoyed, because that's why a lot of depressed people don't want to ask for comfort or assistance from others. I think she'll be ok with enough love and attention. And I wish I had a brother like you!

Answer 10

I don't want to sound mean or anything, but what are you guys like 2, your young, you will get over it and move on. Please you have your whole lives a head of you. Don't let some highly misdirected child ruin your younger days, enjoy it will you still can, because I don't want scare you or anything, there will come a day when childhood ends and teenage bliss fades away and the problems and true dilemmas of adult hood will set in.

In other words tell her to build a bridge and cross it, OK..you are too young for this bull shyt!!!!!

Answer 11

Tall order ... it form of feels like this youthful guy is on a quickly direction to a life-time of violence until eventually he can get the full component in verify. Being fifteen does not help, of direction, what with hormone tiers pumping away. he will mellow with age yet it extremely is a protracted ruin day. the topic with youthful females, like your sister, is that she can not see the wood for the timber or perhaps the nuclear blasts from the primed bomb. yet sooner or later she would have the ability to. I merely wish that she does not exchange into his aim in the previous then. there's no magic wand right here. merely shop making your sister attentive to the negative aspects and that if she maintains to this element him, he will make her a aim for human beings's wrath.