My parents are completely against me getting married before I graduate before college, but my boyfriend and I want to get married now. Sometimes I'm unsure of whether or not I'm ready to get married with him. I have known him since the 6th grade and we whent out most of high school. Then we got together again a year ago and have been happy ever since. I'm not pregnant or anything but I want to live my life with him. He's in the military so he lives on base and in order for us to live together he has to get married and have me as a dependent. I really dont want that to be the only reason why I get married though. I really do love this guy and I know he is the one. I just don't want to hurt my parents, and I know that this will hurt them a lot. They are really stubborn and probably wont even hear me out. He says that we could get married next weekend in Vegas with two friends as witnesses but I really want to have my whole family there.I don't know what to do, I dont want to hurt anyone
2007-04-16 20:42:05 · 34 answers · asked by Roxy 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
How old is your guy? Hope he is 21 or above. Then its legal for you to get married. Your reason is a valid one and a good one too. Try to talk to your parents. Let your b/f talk along with you. If they are stubborn and insist that you are too young, then you just go ahead with your plans. How long can the military wait before posting your b/f out? Think on that angle too. Is there time enough, a year or two before deployment? If you can wait, its worthwhile. Otherwise go ahead with your plans.
2007-04-16 21:06:00 · answer #1 · answered by sunilbernard 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
WHAT did you say?? You said, and I quote ... "Sometimes I'm unsure of whether or not I'm ready to get married with him." Well, girl, you answered your own question. Don't think about it anymore! Good grief, don't hurt your parents anymore! They're alot smarter than you give them credit for, plus, your "boyfriend" is a real class act .... saying, "we could get married next weekend in Vegas." ....when he KNOWS how your parents feel and how you feel about your parents and having your whole family at your wedding!!! Sister, you two are on different pages. If you're still together in a year or more, then go ahead, but NOT right now. PLEASE not right now. By the way, my friend spent 20 miserable years with "her true love". She said on the day she married "her true love" that if even ONE of her family members or friends was at the wedding, she wouldn't have gone through with it! Don't be afraid to back out now even two weeks before the wedding. WAIT A MINUTE! Do you actually have a wedding planned out, and your boyfriend has offered to run off to Vegas? Oh, girl .... don't even do it!!!!! Give your love to your parents ... they deserve it, NOT HIM!
2007-04-16 21:03:37 · answer #2 · answered by Elle 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
it truly is common, your in truth residing like a married couple and characteristic been doing so for awhile and it variety of appears like the subsequent organic component to do is have a baby. yet you comprehend your no longer waiting, and also you want to finish that a lot extra formerly you've children. So do not beat your self up about it, in basic terms well known it truly is common and save doing what your doing and also you'll be effective. once your again in college or get a interest you in all likelihood in basic terms isn't as occupied by this sense because you'd be doing extra w/some time. in basic terms save on target and later once you've carried out and carried out what you needed then commence a kinfolk. solid luck!
2016-10-18 01:57:40 · answer #3 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Life is like that only! First of all, you must try to find out whether your parents are altogether against the early marriage or the boy as such. If they are against the early marriage and there are no issues with the guy, you must discuss with them the problem. There will be a solution, provided you commit and honour the commitment to continue & finish your studies. If they have some issues with the boy, you shall have to hurt your parents, I'm afraid. Last word: Could your boyfriend wait a little? (that is the best possibility)
2007-04-16 23:35:59 · answer #4 · answered by sharma.kulbhushan 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I can see both sides of the story. So from what I gather this is basically your first boyfriend and you have been in a long term relationship. I was with my first boyfriend for over 10 years. I was in love and we were destined to get married, but it would have been the worse mistake of my life.
But from your parents point of view, they would be saying get out and experience other things. Normally, not always you get married, have kids and put everything else on the back burner.
You even said that you have your doubts about this, but this is your decision, not your parent's or your boyfriend's. Best of luck!
2007-04-16 21:13:27 · answer #5 · answered by michelle_emu4eva 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are an adult now... all though a young one. You don't need any ones permission or approval to do anything any more. You are the one that has to make your own decisions in life right or wrong. If you love him and he love you and you both really want to be married then do so. Others will come around or not that is there choice you can't control what they think or feel. Only one you can control is you.
2007-04-16 20:48:01 · answer #6 · answered by debcat76135 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Girl, you have to stop thinking about what your parents want and follow your heart. If you know you really love this guy marry him. Your a grown women and can't always please everyone. It's your job to keep your happiness on a high level.
If your parents don't want you to get married but you feel the need or want to. Then do it. They may not accept your decision instantly but sooner or later they'll learn to.
And if your sometimes unsure of getting married because of what your parents or anyone else saids then your not ready.
Your parents just want to protect you but they have learn how to let go and let you make your choices that will benefit you.
2007-04-16 20:56:34 · answer #7 · answered by keekee 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There are two alternatives. Marry after you graduate and get employed provided the boy is willing to wait for just a few years. In fact really understanding partner should be willing to wait for 2/ 3 years. You are not old enough to be rushing into a marriage immediately.
Even if your partner agrees to wait for 2/3 years, you need not keep him waiting. Try another year of efforts to convince your parents, bluffing them that you are alreafy legally married. Take the final decision after one year or later as things develop.
2007-04-20 11:48:05 · answer #8 · answered by sensekonomikx 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
In my opinion, you should wait until you're both out of college and your careers are starting. Plan things, make sure all your ducks are in a row. Just spend time being engaged; at least for a couple years. If you're in love with him and you wanna spend the rest of your life with him then you both need to think it through. Consider ALL of the possibilities. You're gonna be together either way. If you're wondering, I JUST turned 20 and I've seen people our age that think they're ready for marriage. They made big decisions before they really considered what the future would hold for the both of them and their families and things didn't turn out so well. Whatever you do, think well in to the future. May God bless you and your boyfriend with strength, love, hope, faith, and whatever else you need to keep your relationship strong.
2007-04-16 21:06:42 · answer #9 · answered by miss_lady404 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sister i have heard that military men have a great understanding of situations. i m sure ur man would also understand what ur going through. ur parents r not against ur marriage they only want u to complete ur studies and then get married. just talk to him about this . he can surely wait . and if this studies thing is really harming ur relationship with ur bf then go forward & get married. ur parents will get a little hurt but they will accept it with time . if he is really the one u have longed 4 in ur life just go ahead. ur parents will need some time but they will forgive u. u can continue ur studies after marriage . i wish u all the happiness& luck. let me know if u get married. bye & take care.
2007-04-17 08:38:30 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋