am married for 3 yrs and 7 months. I am not at all satisfied with my married life. We do not have child. In the year 2005 he lost the job and was jobless for 8 months. During that time he pledged my jewels , took Rs.10,000/- from my ATM A/c without my knowledge , he lied that he got job somewhere when all the while he was sitting at home idle. When I came to know about all these things I made an issue and we lived separately for nearly 2 months. Then I got him job thro my acquaintances. After all these problems again he has done all those things mentioned above. If I start asking questions about this he argues and says I am torturing . I am really not satisfied with this marriage. I am employed. What should I do ?
Thanks for the immediate replies. I wanted to tell you all one more thing I had a relationship (by all means)before marriage. But he is a married guy and having children. He still loves me because of this dissatisfaction I was tempted to continue the relationship.
2007-04-16 20:29:48 · 18 answers · asked by janu 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Dear Sister,
Think twice and put a hand on your heart and asked what you are doing is correct
OK Nothing to worry take it positively past is past before marriage if you did any wrong may be situation or unfortunate if continue the same is not acceptable.
your current position is spoiling your life only not your innocent husband or your illegal lovers life one day he will definitely leave you that day god will not forgive you ,vice varsa your present innocent husband may have good life due to gods grace
My opinion you will be all alone with out family support your heart will not leave you to live peacefully
So my dear sister leave the past be attach with your husband he is made for you (God's decision)you must obey try to give encourage, cheer up him,definitely future is awaiting for you you will succeed in your life
All the best my dear sister -i have two sisters
2007-04-19 02:04:35 · answer #1 · answered by Murugesan g 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi... after reading through all the questions posted by you, I have a feeling that you are trying to lead your life as per the predictions of your horoscope rather than what you actually want it to be.
Firstly, seize the matter at hand, which is your husband being jobless and not being bothered about it. You could approach the family elders on both sides, yours and your husband's, to solve this waywardness of your husband. If he mends his ways then fine.
Secondly, you say you are employed. I hope you earn enough to fend off for yourself immediately and also are able to save enough for the future. Better save as much as you can and do not spend on any of your husband's needs (Get a new bank account and put your salaries in that. Give no information about that to your husband).
As for the relationship you have, it is not mere casual one but more deep rooted. You are using that as a means to get away from your dissatisfaction. This may prove detrimental later on when his family gets to know or if he moves away from you. No harm in developing a relationship as long as it is casual and relaxing - a "no strings attached" one.
2007-04-17 05:22:37 · answer #2 · answered by 2_b_or_not_2_b 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're asking a number of questions that only you can answer. First your marriage. If you want to get out, do it. If you want to keep the marriage, consider asking your spouse if he is interested in maintaining the marriage and if so, what does he intend to do and what does he want you to do? How would he like you to act and how can you expect him to act? Ask him these questions and have a serious discussion. If his answers aren't satisfactory, consider the two of you going to couples counseling/therapy. If you want to keep the marriage.
As for the old boyfriend, even if he's willing to carry on a relationship with you, is that what you're looking for? Sounds like you're looking at the potential for his marriage breaking up or else you getting half a man while another woman has the other half. Again I ask, is that what you're looking for? If you want a good relationship, get on with your life and you'll find one. Somewhere else. Good luck.
2007-04-17 03:53:28 · answer #3 · answered by judgebill 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get outta this marriage you are not happy in. You are employed have a relationship . Pursue your career and relations.
Your marriage is a liability why bear stress. You not having a children with man is good. Before you get preggie live outta bondage 3 yr 7 months u doing mathematics clearly shows ur dissent. GET OUT and
B Happy
2007-04-17 07:42:23 · answer #4 · answered by poke_a_man 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sister as far as ur relation with ur husband is concerned u need to decide. and about what u have mentioned of ur previous relationship just let it go. this man has children & what would u get by getting into this relationship. nothing but only blames of destroying other lives only because urs was not that good. make the right decision. its after all ur life. think about what u want in ur life. but at the same time dont do it at the expense of other lives. bye.
2007-04-17 15:47:12 · answer #5 · answered by techna 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to make a decision now on your current relationship. if you feel that your husband isnt taking on his share of the resposibilities then you must confront him about it, and if that doesnt work then you must get out of this damaging relationship... you do nobody any good if you are unhappy all the time.
Dont even consider seeing that married guy again because I am sure you would not like to find out that your husband was sleeping with someone else.
2007-04-17 03:39:54 · answer #6 · answered by Roscait 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You do not seem to be honest with you question. You have not tried to analyse the behavior of your husband. I am doing it for you.
Your husband seems to have the smell of your fling with that other guy at your residence only. I do not know whether that is true or not. You seem to be independant economically. That makes you chart your own course even at the cost of his displeasure.
As regard to your future cource of action I can only suggest to make up your mind as whether to continue in marriage or to break away from it. Your present state of mind is to break away. But by any chance You want this marriage to sustain, make clean breast of all the problems and communicate well.
Best luck for appropriate decision.
2007-04-17 05:49:15 · answer #7 · answered by Panchal J 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is what marriage is all about, u are supposed to love your husband during good times and also bad times. Now it is bad time for him, he is unable to earn, but it could be temporary. U must support him and help him. In marriage, problems come, and u are not supposed to run, commit adultery just because problems have come. There is nothing wrong with your husband, he is not cheating, but life is difficult with him. It could be a temporary phase, but u are his biggest problem, a unfaithful, unsympathetic and greedy wife. If u persist in adultery, u will also be a home breaker for some other sweet, innocent girl.
2007-04-17 05:13:01 · answer #8 · answered by wizard of the East 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
why don't you do meditation for an hour daily for 3 to six months and find out the answer you seek yourself. You will know whether you should continue in the present relationship, with the past relationship or a relationship with a newer person.
2007-04-17 04:34:50 · answer #9 · answered by spiritual healer 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Okay men take no offense... This answer is to help her see that she must open her eyes, ears, and go with her instincts. In any relationship the "pathological liar" narcissistic person changes only for themselves. Unfortunately we want to believe in those we care for..But @ what cost. Be kind to yourself you did it once as you said. He's gotta go. As for part 2 I believe you have feelings for old love, but you again see his life is stable. He moved on and has a family so don't hurt yourself or him by "temptation" it will only end badly. Hurt no one
2007-04-17 03:42:32 · answer #10 · answered by LdynRed 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋