A friend of mine and I were talking on instant messenger. He spoke in a calm manner ("I don't want to scare you but ...") and then he came out and said it "Justin, I am gay." I was a little bit in shock at first. I told him I have nothing against homosexuality (which is true) and I thanked him for telling me.
I'm pretty sure I did the right thing. Didn't I? What would you do in this situation? I'm just curious.
Pardon my phrasing where I said "he came out and said it." I couldn't think of another way to say it.
2007-04-16 20:28:02 · 27 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
I should add that I think our friendship has gotten closer.
2007-04-16 20:32:14 · update #1
I should also add that I am not gay/bisexual. I am straight.
2007-04-16 20:33:25 · update #2
I said I'm curious ...as in I'm curious in what others thoughts are.
2007-04-16 20:34:27 · update #3
My friend has had at least one ex-girlfriend before. He later realized he likes or loves guys.
2007-04-16 21:11:04 · update #4
I can imagine how hard it was for him to be straight with me and tell me this. I completely respect him because of this.
Again, pardon me for the phrase "to be straight with me."
2007-04-16 21:13:11 · update #5
I would say ,"Right on man" and leave at that i would not care. ITs no one else but yours and your partners buiessness who sticks the man toy or lolly pop licker any where!
2007-04-16 20:31:18 · answer #1 · answered by massacre[[Screamer for T.D.A.]] 2 · 2⤊ 3⤋
I was in that situation. My best friend Eric (whom I was totally in love with) told me. I was in complete denial. I stuck by him and was supportive for the most part, but very hurt and had to come to realization that he and I would never have a relationship. Obviously, you don't have that problem. Be honest with your friend that it did shock you...but also be supportive of him. I'm sure he knows the bounds between you two and you have nothing to worry about...I'm sure he realizes that you're straight (so I assume), and just remain his friend as you always have. I think you did the right thing and probably relieved him quite a bit as I'm sure it was pretty stressful for him to come out to you. You gave an honest reaction and were probably quite able to hide your initial shock behind the computer screen. Just don't treat him any differently than you ever have. Remember...it's his sexual preference, and really has nothing to do with you personally. He's been gay all along, and the only difference is that now you know. Just try not to act all weird around him...i'm sure at first, you might wonder if he's checking you out from behind or whatever...don't make it obvious that the thought is circulating in your head...it's a natural reaction, but just try not to make the situation more uncomfortable than it has to be...not until you know how he is going to deal with it now that you know.
2007-04-16 20:36:14 · answer #2 · answered by no_name_jane 2 · 3⤊ 1⤋
You behaved and answered as a true friend. Apart from telling him that you have nothing against homosexuality, make it clear that you are straight unless he knows already. Other than that, carry on with the friendship as usual. I have gay friends of my own sex that I cherish with all my heart and would not give up the friendship if you paid me.
The fact that someone is gay NEVER automatically means that they want a sexual relationship with you. That assumption is the folly of many straight people. Straight men don’t automatically assume that every girl they know is interested in them or visa-versa.
Best wishes
2007-04-16 20:54:42 · answer #3 · answered by Res 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I really think that you did the right thing. I mean you could have just gone off on him and that would have been way out of line. I think you did a great thing. that is the easiest thing for a gay person to here when they tell someone. You don't even know how hard it is for someone to tell someone that they are gay.
2007-04-24 16:44:12 · answer #4 · answered by Sexy Model 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think you did really good. i hope you continue treating him the way you always have. He's still that same person with the same values.
i believe that as long as a person's lifestyle and choices are consentual and they are not harming anyone, it's their choice and their life.
i have several gay friends and i've been to gay bars. When we get together it's just like when i get together with my straight friends. (altho my strait friends aren't as well dressed) lolol
It's going to be tough on him and he is going to need a true friend's support. Unfortunately some people are very judgemental and close minded.
Slowly but surely our society is coming around tho! Our generation has to become involved.
2007-04-16 20:55:47 · answer #5 · answered by just_a1979 2 · 2⤊ 1⤋
You did the right thing, he's gonna need your support, coming out is a daunting thing in itself.
I'm sure you can see why with so many childish and ignorant answers that have already been posted on here... but for every ignorant one, there'll be 10 positive ones! Just keep being his friend
2007-04-16 20:39:54 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 1⤋
you did the right thing, now the next thing you have to do is keep him as a friend, don't say its ok, that i have nothing against homosexuality, then lose him as a friend. A person can have a gay friend and not be gay himself, so don't let others put you down for having a gay friend, and its not your place to tell anyone else, your friend will tell everyone he wants to know, himself.
2007-04-16 20:35:50 · answer #7 · answered by jumpinjackdw 3 · 6⤊ 1⤋
hey, you did the right thing, and it sounds like ypu're a really good friend. dont listen to those bastards that are saying that he just wants to get with you. especially when hes coming out for the first time, it means he trusts you. i had to go through this, its a very tough thing to come out. continue to support him. he's going through a lot of feelings, emotions and thoughts. it will only get awkward if you let it...
:)
2007-04-16 21:21:43 · answer #8 · answered by tribalsunfire 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
If he took u in confidence and disclosed this it is probably more because he considered u as a friend, and that there is not a physical attraction that motivated him to tell you
not that he doesnt consider you an attractive guy, as he probably does
but there is a boundary there that he respects and wouldnt venture to pass.
As I would value his honesty and his freindship
good on you ! at leadt you have a good friend who is open and honest thats valuable
2007-04-16 21:01:22 · answer #9 · answered by jigadee 4 · 3⤊ 1⤋
I would say that's nice and carry on the relationship as normal! It shouldn't make difference what and who they are having intimate relationships with although it would be sock just to know they had kept a secret and you didn't know them as well as you thought you had but after that shock it would be as normal!
2007-04-23 11:48:22 · answer #10 · answered by just_looking thanx 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Your freind did the right thing about telling you he is gay.Now your relationship with him will be better for the both of you.You also must keep in mind that he may be intrested in you.Dont get mad it is just a thought.Take care
2007-04-21 07:58:02 · answer #11 · answered by Billy T 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋