Neighbour who likes to try to upset!?

Question

This older female neighbour, has from the outset tried her best to control us. We live in the flat (apartment ) above her, and the garden is shared, except she doesn"t do shareing, so we just leave her to it as we are fed up with the agro she causes, we ignore her , and she doesnt like that either, so now we get post with our address and her name on, this has happened to many times to be a mistake! We put the mail back in the post with a note on saying not at this address! Should we continue to do this? What would you do in this situation?If we approached her we know she would deny it, and start argueing, so we dont want to do that!

Answer 1

Just keep doing what you doing....I wouldnt talk to her....

Answer 2

Dont let her bully you. Call the places that are sending the mail to you, tell them that person no longer lives there because they are DEAD.
She needs lots of attention, so give it to her. Reverse the roles..perhaps start sending things to her address. The more obnoxious the better. There are tons of websites that offer free catalogs...all you have to do is provide the address. SO sign the old bag up for "gay men's weekly"..Or "horny grannies", "Living with Herpes," "Luscious Lesbians" Or several sex toy catalogs. Hell, if you are lucky, maybe she will splurge on a vibe..and might become half way civil.
Take and make fake phone calls on your balcony, when you know she listening..talk about how you got a check addressed to the old bag downstairs, but since it was given at your address you were able to cash it, saying it was your mother...and only had to provide proof of residency. Now you're 100$ bucks richer.
Get a decent herbicide and douse "her" garden generously. Its half yours right? If everything dies..its not your fault, you accidentally misused it, it was your first time...you were only trying to help.
You shouldnt get pissed about the way she is acting. Use her to amuse yourself. She is just some silly, miserable, lonely old lady. Obviously, you have way more advantages and wits about you. Use them...laughing at her the whole time.

Answer 3

There are a few possible options. You can move house. You can continue doing what you do. And you can take to professional diplomacy.... And that is very difficult to achieve. But if you want to try, you make yourself an inner distance and you go and give her all the attention she wants and need, you just don't allow her to argue with you. You have to be a psychiatrist to make this happen really... but if you have any social feeling you might be able to pull it off. I had a very difficult neighbour once... I eventually gave him so much attention he didn't like it anymore, I kept being so friendly and informing to his health and ideas and meals and garden and so on and on... if he started arguing, I litterally and politely kept asking why he would argue with me, because he was hurting my feelings... each time I said something similar, he looked taken aback and would change the line of talk... in the end I learned how to talk to that neighbour so that the arguments were gone.. but it takes patience and skill.... I really hope you can see through your neighbour and find the pshycological solution to here.... :) Confront her, ask her politely why she feels the need to argue with you.. it may surprise you what effect this can have, to confront people litterally with what they do or say. give them a mirror and keep being polite, because if you loose your temper, she has won and achieved the negative attention she wants. So, try not to let her. :)

Answer 4

First of all, speak to your postman about the mail. You could even put your names on the mailbox wih (only) written next to it, if possible.

Talk to your landlord about the situation. Explain that she will not share the garden area, and is causing you and your husband trouble. Tell them that if it continues, you will be forced to look for another place.

Next time she gives you any trouble, tell her to mind her own business, and that you don't appreciate her putting her nose into yours. Tell her that if she wants to argue, find someone her own age that cares what she says.

She probably has no life of her own, so she needs attention, even if it is bad attention. (Some old people sometimes act just like kids.) I hope I remember this and never get that way when I am old!!!!!!

Answer 5

i had the same sort of problem with my older downstairs neighbor and had heard that every person who has ever lived above her, she has run off because she doesn't like the noise above her. she would attack my every move, always knocking on the ceiling with her broom, jumping on me if i put something in the trash can after ten saying it made too much noise, complained that my a.c. amde too much noise, etc, etc, etc.

i had always been nice to her before but one day i came home to find she had taken down my windchime and when i started to put it back up, she ran out yelling at me not to.

that was it! i went downstairs and cussed her out royally. called her every name in the book, told her i was sick of her harassing me, listed all the things i had done to try to appease her and told her all that was going to stop, then, yelled a few more choice words at her.

well, i have never in my life cussed anyone out. i had never gone off on someone like that but you know what? she has never bothered me again and i have had peace since that day.

and, i don't regret it. too bad that some people have to be treated in this way but, i have realized that some people don't respond to anything else.

Answer 6

You need to stand up to her. Or she will just keep finding ways to make your life unhappy. If your lease says you have a right to use the garden then start by enforcing your use of it. By letting her have her way over that she has decided she can win and you won't do anything about it.

Answer 7

Maybe she is trying to get attention, even bad attention is attention. She is probably just lonely otherwise she wouldn't do the mail like that she probably thought you would come give her the mail & then she would have company. Either try being friends or move.

Answer 8

Just keep redirecting her mail and don't confront her about it. She wants to provoke you, so just ignore her and don't give her the satisfaction.

Answer 9

move